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Publisher's Summary

What do you do after you write a number-one best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

©2010 Tucker Max (P)2010 Simon and Schuster Audio

What listeners say about Assholes Finish First

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    703
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    206
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    89
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    27
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    48
Performance
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    167
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    90
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    28
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    34
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  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    156
  • 3 Stars
    65
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    26
  • 1 Stars
    41

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Not impressed

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

Even douchbags will find this book un-impressive. Not sure who would enjoy it.

Has Assholes Finish First turned you off from other books in this genre?

No. It has turned me off from books from Tucker Max.

What didn’t you like about Tucker Max’s performance?

Stories are not that funny and narration is horrible... written a 3rd grade level.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

No. None whatsoever.

Any additional comments?

Don't waste your money or credits on this book. You want cheap entertainment, watch the movie: Hope They Serve Beer In Hell also from Tucker Max. This will give you the 1.5 hr synopsis of what this book and his "trilogy" has to offer... and it was slightly more entertaining than anything coming out of this book. Honestly, I've had more interesting, funnier and sexier stories while at a fraternity in Florida than the compilation in this book.

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

I got a refund.

I found this book offensive and annoying. Thank you, Audible, for issuing me a refund.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Started out Funny, but then...

Started out Funny and witty but quickly became boring and redundant. Vulgarity can be funny but this guy runs it into the ground and eventually sounds like some desperate high school kid trying to please his buddies. I almost feel sorry for this guy.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Tucker learned to read.

Upon re-reading "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell," I have decided this is as funny, if not more so. That combined with the fact Tucker as infinitely improved his narrating skills makes this book a must read.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Tucker is an a-hole from start to finish

Would you try another book from Tucker Max and/or Tucker Max?

Maybe if there was more to the book than just having sex with multiple women and drinking stories.

Would you recommend Assholes Finish First to your friends? Why or why not?

If they were looking for a break from audiobooks that had some redeeming qualities and just want an escape to the ultimate hedonistic lifestyle. If you need some clever derogatory comments, this is your book.

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

Yes - Tucker does a good job of telling his story.

Was Assholes Finish First worth the listening time?

Yes, but if it were any longer, I would not have finished it. There are definitely some funny parts.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Awesome book

This is a book that is spoken from the first person by an articulate individual that does what he wants and is driven by 2 things beer and women. Some of the stories are crude but hilarious. If you are a type of person that can not laugh at things that are not PC then don't read this book.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Duped

I love the first book, but this one is not funny at all. The first book is awesome. However, like the title says for this book, he comes across as a complete a-hole.
I think these stories are the ones that were on the cutting floor for his first book.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Quick start but peters out

This book starts pretty funny and with a good pace, but after the first story (bullhorn) it grinds to a slow painful slog through marginally funny, mostly embarrassing or gross anecdotes. At some points I felt pretty grungy after reading sections, like I needed to wash the images away. I finished it only so I didn't break my streak of finishing books. But probably should have moved on to something better after the first 50 pages. But you might like it, everyone's different that way.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Stupid.

Quite possibly the dumbest book I’ve ever heard. What a waste of air space.
Yes he is an asshole but seeing as his story isn’t over, I will bet he doesn’t finish first.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

hilarity ensues....

a great follow up to his first book. I can't wait to read the third.