Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)

Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

By: Wendy T. Behary LCSW, Jeffrey Young PhD - foreword, Daniel J. Siegel MD - preface

Narrated by: Joana Garcia

Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins

Publisher's summary

Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others or engage in deluded thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So, how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one - so ignoring them isn't really a practical solution.

Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.

With this how-to guide, you'll learn how to separate yourself from a narcissist's traps and gain the respect and validation you deserve - while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

©2021 Wendy Behary (P)2021 Tantor

fantastic book. VoiceOver talent not so good.

The authors have done an excellent job with this book. The content is excellent and comes from a place of empathy and understanding rather than taking a coldhearted textbook approach. The book is helpful for those going through the experience of dealing with a narcissist as well as those wanting to better understand the spectrum of the diagnosis. The voice-over talent has much to be desired, however. The pace is extremely slow, and the individual's voice is cold. I put it on 1.5 speed and it became a lot more tolerable.

In-depth, refined, excellent.

There are critical reviews stating this book can make a situation worse by encouraging someone not to avoid a narcissist. I don’t believe that is true. This book gives great advice and knowledge about narcissistic traits and disorders. It also draws a line and gives clear instructions for how to recognize a relationship that should end.

Learned so much!

It was difficult listening to this because I had no idea I was married to a Covert Narcissist for 13 years. I wish I listened to this before my divorce. I may have been able to avoid much of the abuse, pain, confusion, and constant gaslighting. Please read this for your sanity!

Helpful Explication

Lived with narcissists for years and years without realizing until this book laid it out. They don’t choose to have their brains wired the way they are and that has to be kept in mind as one dances the careful dance around their triggers and landmines.

Not done yet but…

I am definitely determined to finish this book. The material is personally very important for me, I’m dealing with narcissists in my life, both at work and home, but the performance of the reader is definitely not pleasant. Perhaps it’s just me, but she reads like a robot, much like one of the automated voices in your iPhone, or android, stiff and stoic. This is very much unlike the book I just finished the highly sensitive person by Elaine Aaron, the reader there was so engaging in her style and tone.

So helpful

I am in my third relationship with a narcissist and not quite ready to leave yet. This book not only gave me great tools for navigating the relationship, but also enough information that I hope to avoid any further relationships with narcissists.

Comes handy

Happy I read this book. Learned a lot about how to communicate in the most difficult situations with narcissist without giving in.

Read don't listen

The narrator was very hard to listen to, her cadence and inflection was more off than on through out the book. While a lot of content was useful I found some of the approaches to talking to "your" narcissist to be a bit passive aggressive or even shaming. I wouldn't handle any encounter with anyone that way. There are far more productive ways to set a boundary than to resort to being patronizing or shaming, it made me uncomfortable.

Excellent to understanding yourself and the Narc

Really brought to light the degrees of selfishness that is part of every human and how to deal with it in a compassionate way in your self and others no matter where each human person is located on the selfishness scale.

Makes me dislike Narcissists even more!

To start, I really struggled with listening to the narrator. The words didn't flow nicely and I had to concentrate. The sentences were broken and it felt more like a primary school lecture from a textbook.

The book is 100% correct in defining and assisting in "parenting" a narcissist, which in essence is an adult child, but at the same time by the end of the book I personally felt exhausted. I personally would rather just divorce mine then have to struggle for the rest of my life trying to force myself to "like" someone who has a terrible personality.