Wisconsin Vamp

Monsters in the Midwest, Book 1

De: Scott Burtness

Narrado por: Ray Lesniewski

Some vampires are destined for greatness. Herb Knudsen isn't one of them.

When truck-stop diner cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit more complicated.

Herb’s not even sure how it happened. He wasn’t bitten by a vampire, which means there’s no one around to help him learn the ropes. With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courting disaster with every step.

Despite learning each new lesson the hard way, being a vampire isn’t all bad. He’s stronger, a little sexier, and a heck of a lot better at bowling. Even Lois, the girl of his dreams, is starting to notice him. But he can’t drink beer, the bodies are piling up, and his best friend Dallas isn’t just getting suspicious - he’s getting jealous.

When Lois is caught in the middle of the two friends' escalating rivalry, keeping his dark secret becomes the least of Herb's concerns.

Booze, bowling, bake sales, bar fights, babes, blood, and karaoke.... Who would have thought that being undead would make life so exciting?

About the Monsters in the Midwest series:

Herb, Dallas, and Stanley live in northern Wisconsin, where life is nice and simple.

Until Herb becomes a vampire.

And Dallas becomes a werewolf.

And Stanley becomes a zombie.

Join the three friends on their hilariously awkward journeys as they learn that there really are monsters in the Midwest, and that's not always a bad thing.

©2014 Scott Burtness (P)2019 Scott Burtness

Fun take on a vampire novel

This was a fun take on a vampire novel. I would have loved a different ending but you know how that goes! Good read! I recevied a free copy and left my honest review

Finally! A small town vamp with Midwest charm.

Wisconsin Vamp was a fantastic detour from the big city vamps that most of us are accustomed to reading about! It's an excellent story with plenty of laughs and small town charm... including the 3 B's (Beer, Bowling, and Billiards).

The cast of characters play off of each other well and they all have their place in the storyline. If you are from the Midwest, or have ever been to the Northwoods, the characters might even jump out in your mind as people you've met or know.

The book took some time to get moving, which is pretty common with first installments in a series. Once it does, the story glides along at a good pace and leads to an ending that should leave you running for the next installment while reaching for your anxiety meds!

The narrator did a great job as well. I will definitely be continuing this series!

Heads up your going to want the entire series.

When You start this three book series you will find yourself drawn in until you get to the very end. Author Scott Burtness provides the perfect mix of "Holy Crap" "Did he just say that" and "What the heck is next". This humorous Horror title will drag you to the North woods of Wisconsin and won't let you out until you have decided you want to become part of this Clan of mixed up monsters. Narrator Ray Lesniewski did a perfect job of bringing these characters to life.

Booze, bowling, bake sales, and blood!

Scott Burtness serves up a hilarious brew in 'Wisconsin Vamp,' narrated with infectious energy by Ray Lesniewski. Herb Knudsen's clumsy foray into vampirism adds a delightful twist to his ordinary life, delivering laughs and surprises at every turn. With Booze, bowling, bake sales, and blood, this Midwest monster tale is a rollicking good time from start to finish.

Holy Bloodsucking Blizzards - Bowlers!!

Midwest nice and demonic bloodsucking combine hilariously in Wisconsin Vamp! I loved the narration, characters, and story. Hope to see more of this series as audiobooks!!

Cheesehead Vamp Fun🧀

This was a unique take on the classic vampire transformation story. I found myself surprisingly rooting for the vampire.

The narrator's adept vocal control kept me listening without many breaks. There were so many distinct voices, dramatic moments, and well paced descriptions.

Narrator needs some work

Trappersville, WI is a small town filled with people that have little to do but bowl, drink, and fish, so when Herbert Knudsen, the towns loser suddenly becomes good at bowling, and starts actually looking good, something ain't right. Tune in for when socially awkward meets suave and sophisticated.

For a small town like Trappersville, Herb is a mere speck in a tiny pond. But when luck strikes Herb, he goes from being invisible to the Bay City Bowlers Champion! Herb was accidentally made a vampire. Why Herb? Well, why not! Herb lives a simple life as a fry cook at Robbie's Diner, has a best friend in Dallas who is a ladies man, and is in love with Lois, the waitress who doesn't even know Herb exists. Herb always lived in the shadow of his best friend Dallas, until he began his transformation into a vampire. He lost the belly fat, became stronger, and faster, in turn grew his self confidence ten fold. Herb seems like the underdog that deserves to win the lottery, sort of guy. He has always been nice and gentle unlike his counterpart Dallas, whom always went home with the girl. Dallas was full of himself to say the least. In times, it almost appears that Dallas is purely friends with Herb to make himself feel more sexy or likeable perhaps? Cause frankly Dallas is always making fun of Herb, little jabs to his self confidence, appearance, lack of experience with the ladies. I really despise this guy, so when Herb grows out of his awkwardness, I am rooting for Dallas to fall flat on his behind!

The story was entertaining to say the least. I can't say I've ever read a paranormal book that entails the main character being turned via mosquito, lol. I like the realism the town and characters have vs your typical PNR book. This stories world is not built with layers of the underworld, nor is it seeking a champion, it's everyday life and people with a twist. It's a town and people that we all can relate to. Not to copy what other reviewers have said already, but how can I not? Herb is the best unlikely vampire hero you'll ever meet! Herb has real anxiety, but now with his vampiric abilities he finally has the grace and strength to face his life long fears. I really enjoyed reading Wisconsin Vamp, and I can't wait to continue on with the series!

Narrator Review:

Ray Lesniewski narrates the tale of Herb Knudsen for Scott Burtness. Ray is a new to me narrator, so I have no reference to pull from other than my personal listening experience on this novel. I had read the book before there was an audible version of it, and that may or may not have skewed my opinion a bit. When reading a book, a person tends to create the characters voices in their own mind while living the story. I do have life experience with the Midwest, some southern states and the west coast in my arsenal. With that being said, I am very familiar with the accents for those regions. I'm no expert by any means, but I have had personal experience with people from those areas. Scott portrays Herb as a loser, his friend Dallas as a macho chauvinistic pig and Stanley as just a mess of a nerd. Ray's interpretation of how those characters sound were not quite on par with mine. I did like the tone he chose for Herb and Stanley, however Dallas was all wrong. I had a hard time picking up what Ray was trying with Dallas and in the end did not like it. I also thought that Ray's story telling (in between characters) was less than desirable. When someone is telling a story, that person needs to set the stage for the listener, draw them in with their acting skills and tone. There was little life in Ray's portrayal of Herbs world. I really wanted to feel the story since I thought Ray did a good job with Herb and Stanley, but there just wasn't anything to draw me in.

Ray Lesniewski is not a bad narrator, but just maybe an inexperienced one. I'm hoping with more practice and time that Ray will flourish and become the narrator I know he can be. Ray has great potential, so I'm not giving up on him!

Monsters of the Midwest series

As someone who has lived in smaller towns in central Wisconsin, the surroundings and some of the characterizations were spot on! Looking forward to the next book in the series (sampled at the end of this one).

Helped pass the time while I was on the toilet.

I was in search of an extraordinary journey while I released my last meal into the toilet bowl. I was not disappointed. I gave it a three star rating even though it’s more like a four star.

Utter Crap

Neither fun nor funny. Narrator is bad at female voices, he just makes them sound like gay men.