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Publisher's Summary

This princess can shave herself! The hilarious best-selling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.

Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. 

When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails - which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise.

This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss - it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong.

But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer - preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!

In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.

©2019 Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson (P)2019 Random House Audio

What listeners say about The Princess Beard

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed

I am not sure if it was the rush to publish three books in under 2 years or what, but they really should have just kept to one book in this series. After Kill the Farm Boy it has just been more sophmoric wordplay and pop culture references, that worked in KTFB but in the past two books come off for me as tired and uninspired. At some points even the great Luke Daniels sounds like he is phoning it in. I hope that this is the last Pell book for quite a while and that Hearne's next books bring back the consistency of the rest of his published body of work.

3 people found this helpful

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Not Hearne's or Daniel's Best Work

Worth the price, but this was a little cringy. The voice for the parrot almost made me stop listening because of how painfully long it took for him to say anything. The vocabulary and word play in this one felt like a couple 17-year old boys got tipsy for the first time and tried to convert every thing into a style based on double entendre and fart joke levels.

1 person found this helpful

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another hit for Luke Daniels

I cannot imagine anyone who would do a better job narrating these books. he voices and distinctions to personality and traits are the best. I can even imagine trying to read this book in print. and it's a cute story.

1 person found this helpful

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ehhh

I enjoyed the book itself, but listening to the parrot talking was just extremely annoying.

1 person found this helpful

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Listen to this series

Luke Daniel's is an amazing VOA and brings this hilarious story to life. If you are a fan of adventure and fantasy, Dungeons and Dragons, or anything silly, light and fun listen to this book!

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Not up to Hearne's earlier standards

Went for the low hanging fruit with this one, not nearly as good as the earlier Pell books. Got very preachy on the apparent worldview of the authors as well in many ways that detracted from the story. Still overall enjoyable, just not nearly as good as I have come to expect.

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Amazing!!!

I absolutely love every single one of these books in this series, especially the audiobook! The narrator is amazing. I highly recommend listening to this book rather than physically reading it!

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Thoroughly enjoyable nonsense!!!

I listen to a fair number of books while working...this may or may not be a good thing depending on your co-workers sense of humour as random fits of laughter are involved!
Loved it keep keeping us laughing

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End of the trilogy had left allot of loose ends.

I really did like this trilogy however there are a lot of loose ends but I would love to see finished. like whatever happened to the gnomes? Isn't there one good human in pell? Did the Snarkivist ever get relieved of his laborious duties in life? whatever happened to the arch of Rita's father? will Toby and ultra ever be revitalized by The Dread necromancer Steve's death honey?

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Tired of the series

I made it thru. it really wore me out. I appreciate the performance of the parrot but it got tiring with the R's.