The Princess Beard

The Tales of Pell, Book 3
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
Series: The Tales of Pell, Book 3
Length: 13 hrs and 11 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (341 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

This princess can shave herself! The hilarious best-selling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.

Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. 

When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails - which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise.

This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss - it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong.

But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer - preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!

In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.

©2019 Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson (P)2019 Random House Audio

What listeners say about The Princess Beard

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointed

I am not sure if it was the rush to publish three books in under 2 years or what, but they really should have just kept to one book in this series. After Kill the Farm Boy it has just been more sophmoric wordplay and pop culture references, that worked in KTFB but in the past two books come off for me as tired and uninspired. At some points even the great Luke Daniels sounds like he is phoning it in. I hope that this is the last Pell book for quite a while and that Hearne's next books bring back the consistency of the rest of his published body of work.

2 people found this helpful

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another hit for Luke Daniels

I cannot imagine anyone who would do a better job narrating these books. he voices and distinctions to personality and traits are the best. I can even imagine trying to read this book in print. and it's a cute story.

1 person found this helpful

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ehhh

I enjoyed the book itself, but listening to the parrot talking was just extremely annoying.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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creative fun

love it for it great puns and humor. Great writing team, and Luke Daniels brings it to life.

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So worth your time

The incomparable Luke Daniels voices yet another epic tale from Kevin Hearne and Delilah Dawson. This fun romp, set in the familiar world of Pell, is a pirate adventure full of sea monsters, cannon salvos and swashbuckling with the usual Pellish sly humor, references to well known tales and excellent character development. Well loved characters from previous instalments in this series make a few cameo appearances but this is primarily an all new crew. Can’t wait for the next book in the series as I’m really enjoying exploring Pell!

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Pun bonanza

You must love puns or this book will drive you mad. Can be enjoyed with or without reading the first two in the series.

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It was good to be back in Pell

Another fun filled run around Pell with many new and a few familiar quirky charcters. bvb

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Don't Judge an Author by a Book

This is a fantastic author, but this book was a real dud. I didn't even finish the last few minutes because it was so predictable and boring. Sorry Kevin, your fans still love you.

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What the Pell!

This series is a ton of fun. Very creative, sad my trip to the land of Pell is over.

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Disappointed

This story is nothing more than the authors rattling off as much innuendos in one sentence as possible. Previously, I have thoroughly enjoyed these authors' works, so this is very unfortunate. Maybe they needed a payday, that is how this book comes across, hastily written filled with an ear beating. My condolences to Luke Daniels who performed even this absolute trash of a story with skill and passion.