The Princess Beard Audiobook By Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson cover art

The Princess Beard

The Tales of Pell, Book 3

Preview

Try for $0.00
Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible?
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

The Princess Beard

By: Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
Try for $0.00

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $22.50

Buy for $22.50

Confirm purchase
Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.
Cancel

About this listen

This princess can shave herself! The hilarious best-selling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.

Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses.

When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails - which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise.

This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss - it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong.

But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer - preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!

In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.

©2019 Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson (P)2019 Random House Audio
Action & Adventure Epic Epic Fantasy Fairy Tales Fantasy Fiction Humorous Comedy Witty Pirate Adventure Funny Royalty

What listeners say about The Princess Beard

Highly rated for:

Engaging Story Humorous Wordplay Excellent Narrator Clever Puns Satisfying Conclusion Entertaining Adventure
Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    468
  • 4 Stars
    96
  • 3 Stars
    37
  • 2 Stars
    9
  • 1 Stars
    6
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    507