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The Princess Beard  By  cover art

The Princess Beard

By: Kevin Hearne,Delilah S. Dawson
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
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Publisher's Summary

This princess can shave herself! The hilarious best-selling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.

Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. 

When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails - which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise.

This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss - it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong.

But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer - preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!

In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.

©2019 Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson (P)2019 Random House Audio

What listeners say about The Princess Beard

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed

I am not sure if it was the rush to publish three books in under 2 years or what, but they really should have just kept to one book in this series. After Kill the Farm Boy it has just been more sophmoric wordplay and pop culture references, that worked in KTFB but in the past two books come off for me as tired and uninspired. At some points even the great Luke Daniels sounds like he is phoning it in. I hope that this is the last Pell book for quite a while and that Hearne's next books bring back the consistency of the rest of his published body of work.

3 people found this helpful

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Silly and fun

Not for everybody and not the greatest story of all time, but I laughed and enjoyed it. I hope you do to! Potty humor abounds and despite efforts to not be trite, parts are predictable. If you don’t like this type of humor, or don’t appreciate a story about self discovery, then it probably isn’t for you.

1 person found this helpful

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Not Hearne's or Daniel's Best Work

Worth the price, but this was a little cringy. The voice for the parrot almost made me stop listening because of how painfully long it took for him to say anything. The vocabulary and word play in this one felt like a couple 17-year old boys got tipsy for the first time and tried to convert every thing into a style based on double entendre and fart joke levels.

1 person found this helpful

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another hit for Luke Daniels

I cannot imagine anyone who would do a better job narrating these books. he voices and distinctions to personality and traits are the best. I can even imagine trying to read this book in print. and it's a cute story.

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ehhh

I enjoyed the book itself, but listening to the parrot talking was just extremely annoying.

1 person found this helpful

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Buy this book

If you love humor, puns, parrots and Luke Daniels voice, this book is for you. If you are tired of the same old plots, this book is really for you. If your tired of the toxic world in which we live and want an escape, just buy the book. Now.

1 person found this helpful

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Loved it! Great continuation of the series.

The authors are really finding their stride with this 3rd offering. I can't wait to find out what happens next in Pell.

1 person found this helpful

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Love this series!

How I wish there were more humorous fantasy books. Thank goodness for this one! I hope they continue the series.

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  • KR
  • 12-04-22

Adolescent humor at its adult pinnacle

Ok - I fully admit I sometimes buy books strictly to support authors I like. Book three in this series fell into that category at the start. But… Much like the preceding two books it really grew on me. The humor is for 12 year olds, but the sexual references and deeper-inside SF-references are for the adults.

My hat is tipped to Delilah & Kevin - but my deep bow goes to Luke who at this point in the series has proven he can read ANYTHING extremely well and do so without an iota of dread for truly horrific puns he’s reading.

@Kevin - I have wondered more than a few times if some of your more recent work was being crafted to see if you could trip Luke up. If so - keep trying. If not - wow.

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Tough going

Just my opinion, so take however you want. This book isn’t as good as the first 2. Love Luke Daniels for his performances in the past 2 but man Luke(the character )was the absolute worst and has a lot of lines so it got old fast. A so so end to the series. Lot of it felt phoned in, in terms of story