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Publisher's Summary

Contemporary culture tells us the twentysomething years don't matter. Clinical psychologist Dr Meg Jay argues that this could not be further from the truth. In fact, your 20s are the most defining decade of adulthood.

The Defining Decade weaves the latest science of the twentysomething years with real-life stories to show us how work, relationships, personality, social networks, identity and even the brain can change more during this decade than at any other time in adulthood.

Smart, compassionate and constructive, The Defining Decade is a practical guide to making the most of the years we cannot afford to miss.

©2016 Meg Jay (P)2012 Hachette Audio

What listeners say about The Defining Decade

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Gave me much insight and the courage to go get

Gave me so much insight and the courage to go get the life I've always wanted for myself

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Read the book if you 18-35. Great life lessons!

This is one those books that I wish I read at the start of my 20s. Not because I have any regrets, but because I would've realised much sooner how much identity capital I've been accumulating. This would be a great gift to give to a high school graduate.

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  • 01-13-20

Good but more needed!

This book is great for people in their late teens and twenties and motivates one to get on with their life... however more information and help on how to start and go on forward after knowing this information would be helpful.

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Life changing

This book was honestly life changing. From someone in their 20’s wow. I needed this

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Amazing

Every single 20 something should read this! Be intentional is what I take away from this, and many, many more lessons!

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  • beth
  • 09-02-20

Some good advice within the rubbish

I found most of this book to be pretty useless as a driven 23 year old, and some of the information to be a little over dramatic and not applicable to anyone outside of America or with slightly different life plans than the ‘norm’. Most of this book is spent persuading 20 somethings to intern at large companies and start preparing for marriage and babies, which I found to be hugely outdated advice. Some of the ‘examples’ the author uses are almost caricatures of the typical millennial, and it’s a hard book to take seriously. However, there are a couple of worthwhile tips here, but you’ll have to sift through the boring and at times patronising narration to get to them.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-24-20

Blame and fear aren't that inspiring

All the actually good thoughts there got completely lost for me in the assertive tone of voice. Meg Ray has very strong opinions of what is 'right and wrong', and the entire book felt very black and white to me in its judgements, like there is nothing in between. I believe in good intentions of the author but oh boy, was there any self-help book that made me feel more guilty about my decisions - which aren't even bad at all - than this one? I doubt so.

I am 25 and I was coming for some inspiration but the book left me angry and disappointed. Even more, I can imagine how this book might be harmful for people who are depressed and lost in their life. There are so many amazing sources out there that can help understand yourself, your brain, your emotions. Sources that give you practical advice on how to be a better and happier human instead of making you feel like you're already too late after 30 if you weren't thoughtful and productive enough. If you're anything after 22 and you decide to read this book, use it with some criticism and remember the book is just an opinion, either way. Challenge it!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Abdullah Aldaihani
  • 08-14-21

A READ MUST FOR YOUNG ADULTS

The book made me rethink about what my 20s need to be. It is an eye open on so many issues young adults deal with. The example that are mentioned through the book and the selection of studies to back up certain ideas were phenomenal.

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  • Zak S.
  • 07-01-21

Every 20-Something Should Read This

On top of the occasional cool fact or study result, this book did a lot to give me some perspective about where I am in my life journey at the moment.

Dr Jay uses anecdotes to explore the various important life choices young people make (or don't make) and how it can impact their lives down the line.

The kind of book that gives you that 'get up and seize your life' kind of energy, great read 👍🏼

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-10-21

Absolutely amazing!!

This book seemed daunting at first, but once I got into it, I was grabbed! Really helped me make Subtle changes in my life. I’ll definitely read it again and keep it tbh.

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  • Holly
  • 05-19-21

Brilliant and eye opening

Fantastic book, was recommend by a friend and and I will be recommending to others!

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  • jordan murphy
  • 01-30-21

I’m so glad to be hearing this now at 20 than having to find it out at 30

A must read, it has filled me with confidence in the path that I am taking and being intentional and not to get caught up that everybody else seems to be having a carefree time. I would recommend this to any 20 something who is just feeling a bit stuck. I feel this book has put my life back on track. Thank You.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-04-20

My world akes more sense after reading this book

If you've ever wondered what it's like to be in your therapist's head then this is the book for you. Meg's soothing voice keeps you engaged throughout, whilst introducing you to interesting concepts. The book challenges societal norms and offers contrasting well thought out perspectives. Fantastic listen.

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  • fay
  • 09-27-20

Made me think a lot

Honestly as a 22 year old I felt so pressured by parts of this book but the push is needed and the statistics and anecdotes about Meg's clients were eye-opening. I love Meg's no nonsense approach which still manages to be compassionate. I love that she doesn't just say "oh don't think like that, you just need to be more confident" to her clients, etc, she's not just patting them on the back, her approach is realistic, you don't feel good because of X,Y,Z and you need to sort that out by doing 1,2,3. This book has made me really think about my brain and how it's still developing and which things I want to develop before this brain growth spurt period ends. I have to be so careful to strengthen the neural pathways that are beneficial for me and try to create new ones to override the unhelpful ones I have.

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  • Hana Makhlouf
  • 09-06-20

Highly recommend reading this!!

I really liked how real this book is. A lot of books and media outlets romanticise the 20s and make them out as a time to just have fun but this book breaks it down with facts and figures. I learned so much and it changed my perspective on a lot of things (as a 22 year old).

I wish the book had more examples of her clients’ stories as it created a sense of relatability and allowed me to learn from these experiences.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone in their 20s who wants to take charge of their life and build the future that they want for themselves.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-06-19

Scary but needed advice for your 20s

Scary but needed advice for your 20s. At 29 I felt like I should have listened to this earlier.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-16-21

Just what I needed to hear

Worthwhile. This book helped me realise that my 20s are so important. If you're a 20-something and you need some guidance, this book might be for you.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-16-21

Most impactful book I have ever read

As a 23 year old male, I consider this book to be one of the most impactful books I have ever read.

It gives structure, insight and guidance during a stage of life that is incredibly uncertain and ill-defined but equally formative and important.

I think all ages would benefit from reading this book to understand the thoughts and choices required for '20 somethings'. More specifically, I would now consider this essential reading for anyone entering the 'defining decade'

I consider this essential reading for anyone entering the 'defining decade'. I do also strongly believe that all ages would benefit from reading this book, if they need to understand the thoughts and choices required for '20 somethings' today.

Thank you Meg Jay. I only wish I had come across this book sooner

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-31-20

Very much worth a read if you are in your 20s

Very much worth a read if you are in your 20s. Learnt alot from this one

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  • Riah
  • 02-05-20

Therapy in Audiobook form

I have listened to this 3 times over the last 2 years, when I feel "stuck" or "lost" and there are tid-bits in the different chapters that really help.
I'm a very self aware person, so listening to these facts and theories helps me reframe where I am at, and then be able to think about moving forward.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-17-19

Amazing

The advice was life affirming and direct, yet gentle and understanding. It felt tailor made to me, it addresses to many of my concerns about life. Incredibly engaging.

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  • Jayne Mc Laughlin
  • 06-25-18

eye opening

Thoroughly enjoyed the content of this book. It also got me thinking and forced me to to take some action. Although, the narrator gets some getting used to.