The Gaggle captures the zeitgeist of today's "post-dating" world, where the rules for sex, dating, and relationships have completely changed. Instead of dating, women collect a "gaggle" of men who orbit around them, occupying both romantic and platonic roles, but ultimately revealing who and what they want.
It's easy to feel like your love life is nonexistent these days. You know you're great, so why haven't you been on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date since... well, forever? Because, as it turns out, you are now living in a post-dating world, where the old rules for sex and relationships no longer apply. Suddenly, everything and nothing is a date. But this means that you actually have much more going on in your love life than you realize.
Think about all of the ambiguous interactions you have with guys: from a brainstorming session with a coworker, to a drink with an old friend, to a late-night Skype session with an ex who's still in your life. Once you open your eyes, you'll see that you're already exploring all sorts of connections with the men in your life via these "non-dates". And who are all these guys you're non-dating?
Say hello to your gaggle.
The gaggle is the group of guys in your life who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and help you figure out who you are, what you want, and what kind of relationship you ultimately desire. Though no two gaggles are alike, there are 10 types of men a gaggle might include, such as the Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around, the Ego Booster, the Hot Sex Prospect, and the Boyfriend Prospect. Romance, excitement, self-discovery, love... all this will be yours, once you stop stressing about dates, labels, and expectations and start thinking of each man you know and meet as a potential guy in your gaggle.
In this clever and groundbreaking debut, based on interviews with women and men across the country, Jessica Massa reveals the ways in which the potential for love is all around you. The Gaggle is the ultimate guide to figuring out what you want - and finding your match - in a world that has left traditional dating behind.
This book provided an interesting perspective on the modern dynamic of male-female relationships... but... its all about not taking any relationship too seriously while you get a better handle on who you are and what you need. Sage advice for younger people who are still in that phase, but as a 30yr old woman, this book promotes a lifestyle that no longer appeals to me.
To expand on that: It's about taking an A La Carte approach to meeting your relationship needs by acquiring lots of guy friends. Nothing wrong with that when you're young, but it just sounds exhausting to me now :P
It was an interesting read & if I knew a college bound girl who was planning to scour her campus for a husband, this book offers lots of advice for scaling that mentality back a notch (or 5).
However, if you're past the major self discovery phase and are really looking for a good man to partner up with, this book is not for you. For example, the Accessory is a smart, fun guy you take as a "plus 1" to social/work events. This is 1.) unnecessary for a woman comfortable with who she is and 2.) going to scare off a guy that might approach you because he will think you're not available.
The Hot Sex Prospect is fun for a very short while, but no one is above developing a false sense of intimacy over time that will impact your emotional availability to other romantic prospects.
The bits about non-dates and techno-romance are spot on. I also agree with the author that modern women shouldn't concern themselves with out-dated dating standards or old-timey gimmicks.
The guys gaggle holds true as well and offers helpful advice on figuring out where you factor into a guys life.
Overall, it was worth the credit and was an easy, entertaining listen.
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Would you try another book from Jessica Massa and/or Joy Osmanski?
What was most disappointing about Jessica Massa’s story?
I didn't appreciate the language and it wasn't very insightful. It was all information that is just plain common sense.