He's Just Not That Into You

The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

By: Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo

Narrated by: Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo

Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins

Publisher's summary

He's Just Not That Into You, based on the popular episode of Sex and the City, educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you".

He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out", consider the glorious thought that maybe He's Just Not That Into You. And then set yourself loose to find the one who is.

©2004 Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (P)2004 Simon & Schuster Audio

Critic reviews

"By all means read this smart, funny, and surprisingly upbeat little book." (Publishers Weekly)

We Are Pathetic

Women are taught, at a very early age, how to stay in relationships. They know how to connect interpersonally. Men, on the other hand, are taught, at an early age, how to get into relationships... and that's it. That is all they know.

As a guy, I have recommended this book to every single woman I know. It is painful, but it is the truth. If you want to know what goes through a guy's mind (or what isn't going through it) listen to this book.

A good basic message.

In order to make this book more accessible, the authors often use easy maxims, such as "He doesn't call." to try to get the point across that "He's not that into you." This makes the book easy to criticize (and I have my own issue with "Women should never make the first move.").

However, after listening to the entire book, one realizes that the underlying message is that if the person you are dating (and I agree with previous reviewers that this book would help both men and women) is not treating you the way you want/deserve, you need to move on.

I do take issue with the previous reviewer who uses the example of a woman who talks of marriage before the salad; that is not who this book is for or about (perhaps he should FINISH the book before reviewing it).

Sadly enough, the examples used in this book include the woman who hopefully dates a married man for a year, or the other woman whose partner refuses to commit for whatever reason after many years. When years (and pride, I mean, please, a married person?!) are lost, "having fun" is no longer funny.

If anything, I do think this book PROMOTES dating, as it makes sure a woman doesn't get stuck on and "wait for" someone who is not good for her for the long run.

This book teaches me to spend my time with people who truly like me and who meet my standards of a decent human being. Not to much to ask for, is it?

There is some truth to this

Half way through the book I wanted to tell Greg he was full of it until he hit the nail on the head for something I go though on a regular basis with men. So yes, this book may really piss you off, but it's possible that if you were drawn to this book in the first place, that you'll find yourself in one of the situations described in here. I'll think about that one paragraph everytime I find myself yearning for some guy "Who's just not into me" and I'll know it before I lead myself along too long.
Sometimes I think that Greg's tendency to tell you to walk away right away is a little too cut and dry, but it's possible that he's right and I'm not ready to accept what he's saying...but that is the point of the book....we all spend too much time thinking some guy is worth waiting for and all we're doing is wasting precious time. If anything, it gives you something to really look at within yourself.

Dead-on Right!

I've recently encouraged a bunch of my "friends that are girls" to read/listen to this book. Really, the first two chapters are the keys. After that, it just goes into a few more examples and a little more detail.

It really IS as simple as the author states. If I'm into you, I'm going to do whatever I can to talk to you and spend time with you. If I am legitimately busy with unavoidable work conflicts, I'm going to constantly let you know this with phone calls and e-mails.

Get the book/audio. Use it to help make relationship decisions in your life. You'll be glad you did! :-)

Stop obsessing!

This book was a whole lotta fun in general. The great thing I got from it though was the ability to relax during the dating process. I now value my time and myself more and have learned to see each guy for who they really are instead of viewing them through a veil of overeager optimism. It is still a bummer to invest time in developing a relationship with someone only to have them flake out. At least now I'm not caught by suprise, I don't overinvest and certainly don't obsess. Life is just too short.

The truth is frightening

Five minutes of listening to this book convinced me I ought to have had it as a guide for my last five relationships. Oh well.

Wow! So many questions have the same answer!

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

Maybe I just don't like this book because I am a guy and I generally assume that girls are not into me unless I have a reason to think otherwise. This book is just a very long list of women asking the same question and getting the same answer: There is this guy- I like him but he doesn't seem to like me- What's wrong? The answer is invariably

Has He's Just Not That Into You turned you off from other books in this genre?

No, I love the genre- I like thinking about how people think. This might have even been a decent sentence or paragraph in a good book. But here is what it did not need to be A FULL BOOK. It's the same thing over and over- Hell, just read the cover- you already know the question-- you already know the answer-- Why spend hours hearing it repeated like a mantra? Is is to hypnotize you into acceptance?

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

One of the co authors was a man and to him this was all pretty obvious-- so maybe I'm not the one who took the crazy pills

Any additional comments?

Lemme save you some time, ladies.
Q: I like this guy but he won't go to dinner with me
A: He's just not that into you
Q: I like this boy and we are the same age! Why does he keep looking at other women?
A: He's just not that into you
Q: I keep flirting but nothing works! What's wrong?
A: He's just not that into you
Q: I told him I was into him and asked if he felt the same and he said

He's Just Not That Into You

Even it you think you know it all when it comes to dating, its a must read for all who date. If your in your twenties its a must read, your thirties, and up its a refresher corse, also a must read. The main reason is that men and women think differently, and as much as the world changes and times keep changing, we as women need this info to keep us from getting hurt.

Funny book. Bad advice

I have listened about 1/2 way through this audio book and am amazed at the advice it gives. The main thesis is to give a guy zero chances--that he should chase after you, period. If he forgets to call, or something like that, it's game over. It also suggests only dating "the one", whoever that is.

I am a guy, and yes there is some truth to what the authors are presenting. But there has to be some middle-ground. Honestly, if I am with some woman, no matter how wonderful she is--if she starts talking about marriage before the salad arrives I'm outta there. They have a name for women like that: whackos.

This book is good on comedic value. It's like "Sex in the City" on audio. As far as a worthwhile dating and relationships text, I believe it only paints a false hope to women, who, in my opinion, should be out DATING men and seeing where things go, rather than MARRYING FIRST, then dating.

In my opinion this book presents a totally backwards viewpoint, in which the female puts up incredibly high barriers, and will only consider men worthy of dating if they are "the one". If you choose to follow this advice, good luck. You'll probably spend a lonely existence.. unless you get lucky.

Please give us guys a break and just date, have fun, and see where things go.

Absolutely Priceless Audio Book!

This is by far the best audio book I have ever heard! I've listened over and over again. The way it's written, the way it's narrated...all awesome. I want to take every tidbit of information and post it on my bathroom mirror...to remind myself of all the good information. I liked it so much I'm going to buy the book for additional reference. It was nice to hear a former-player's perspective. It was empowering and helped me to remember that just because the guy may not be that into me, does NOT mean that it's my fault or my problem. I'm tired of settling for crumbs, and this audio reminds us all that we can simply say "no" and walk away. GREAT AUDIO BOOK!

Funny

Made me giggle and definitely get over the two exes I’ve managed to collect over the summer. Warmly recommend. (Would love to see an updated ‘post-Facebook era’ version though!)

An overdose of self confidence!

An overdose of self confidence for strong independent women. Funny and so entertaining. Highly recommend it.

Essential Reading to maintain your sanity

If you could sum up He's Just Not That Into You in three words, what would they be?

Honest, Witty and a sanity saver!

Who was your favorite character and why?

Greg - his brutal honesty is exactly what every single woman embarking on the dating world should hear. I wish I'd had somebody like him to listen to a long time ago!

What does Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Great wittiness, honesty and the back and forth question and answer agony column style is fantastic.

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

This was recommended to me by a friend who didn't give anything away before hand. I expected (as most self help books are) for it to be a deep explanation into the why's and why not's. I was pleasantly surprised. I couldn't stop laughing at the scenario's it threw up as I could familiarize with all the excuses we as women make rather than look at the obvious. Wonderfully humorous!

Any additional comments?

In order to maintain any form of sanity in a very difficult dating world as a woman, I strongly recommend this book. I only wish I'd come across it years ago and saved myself a lot of years with the wrong guys!

A must-read for any girl!

This book is called 'the bible' among my friends. It is a great reminder to 'not waste the pretty' and dont waste time on guys who are really not that into you, who are not making an effort to see you or to make you feel good.
A must-read for every girl - single, dating or married

An amusing look into a mans feelings

A very amusing insight to how a man reacts when he's not into you. This book will tell you what noone else dares to but what you really need to hear. Well worth a read if you or your freinds are looking for the right man still.

hilarious

amazing,funny,and makes some very good points! have listened to this more than once and often some of the stories sound very much like men I know!

Hmmm

Not sure why it has so many good reviews, I didn’t really find it useful at all and it’s rather annoying too!

Surprisingly insightful

I did not expect this audiobook to be so good. A brilliant birthday present for the man who you thinks is interested in more understanding the female mind.

Clever, clear, funny

Well developed concept with dozens of clear examples. Every “yeah but what if…” situation has been covered.

So annoying

Couldn't listen to it the woman narrators voice is awful trying to act but fail