-
Don't Touch the Blue Stuff!
- Where the Hell is Tesla?, Book 2
- Narrated by: Rob Dircks
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $21.75
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
Something called the “Blue Juice" is coming. For all of us.
Luckily, me (Chip Collins), Pete, Nikola Tesla, Bobo, and FBI Agent Gina Phillips are here to kick its ass, and send it back to last Tuesday. Maybe. Or maybe we'll fail, and everyone in the multiverse is doomed. (Seriously, you might want to get that underground bunker ready.) Either way, I've got to get home to Julie and find out – woah, I'm not about to tell you that right here in the book description! TMI, dude.
WARNING: If you haven't heard Where the Hell is Tesla?, I apologize in advance, as you might get completely freaking lost. If you do, just call my apartment, I'm usually around, and I'll fill you in. (If I'm not stuck in the ITA.) – Chip
Critic reviews
"An amusing and unexpectedly crazy ride - a perfect and hilarious follow-up to Where the Hell is Tesla?” (AudiobookReviewer.com)
"So damn funny and insanely entertaining! Loved the first one and this was just as fun.” (Dan Bova, Entrepreneur.com )
"Chip’s at it again! He was very fun in Where the Hell Is Tesla? and he’s just as fun in this book. And Dircks continues to impress me with his narrating abilities.” (Dab of Darkness Reviews)
More from the same
Related to this topic
-
Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
-
-
Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
-
Almost Infamous
- A Supervillain Novel
- By: Matt Carter
- Narrated by: Nicholas Techosky
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
-
-
I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
-
You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
-
-
Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
-
The Epic Crush of Genie Lo
- By: F. C. Yee
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.
-
-
Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee
-
A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
-
-
An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
-
Purple Hearts
- A Novel
- By: Tess Wakefield
- Narrated by: Kyle Mason, Shayna Thibodeaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Cassie Salazar and Luke Morrow couldn't be more different. Sharp-witted Cassie works nights at a bar in Austin, Texas, to make ends meet while pursuing her dream of becoming a singer/songwriter. Luke is an army trainee, about to ship out for duty, who finds comfort in the unswerving discipline of service. But a chance encounter at Cassie's bar changes the course of both their lives.
-
-
RATING PURPLE HEARTS BOOK VS PURPLE HEARTS MOVIE
- By Rozzy on 02-05-23
By: Tess Wakefield
-
Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
-
-
Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
-
Almost Infamous
- A Supervillain Novel
- By: Matt Carter
- Narrated by: Nicholas Techosky
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
-
-
I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
-
You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
-
-
Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
-
The Epic Crush of Genie Lo
- By: F. C. Yee
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.
-
-
Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee
-
A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
-
-
An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
-
Purple Hearts
- A Novel
- By: Tess Wakefield
- Narrated by: Kyle Mason, Shayna Thibodeaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Cassie Salazar and Luke Morrow couldn't be more different. Sharp-witted Cassie works nights at a bar in Austin, Texas, to make ends meet while pursuing her dream of becoming a singer/songwriter. Luke is an army trainee, about to ship out for duty, who finds comfort in the unswerving discipline of service. But a chance encounter at Cassie's bar changes the course of both their lives.
-
-
RATING PURPLE HEARTS BOOK VS PURPLE HEARTS MOVIE
- By Rozzy on 02-05-23
By: Tess Wakefield
-
Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
-
-
Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
-
Ruin
- By: Rachel Van Dyken
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens, Stephen Bel Davies
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I'm not your typical girl. I've been running away from the memories that haunt me for so long that depression has become my only comfort. I was content in the darkness...until Wes Michels offered to be my light. I didn't know that time wasn't my ally - that every second that ticked past was one step closer to the end of something that was beginning to mean the end of myself. He tried to warn me. He promised me all he was able to offer - each moment as it came - but it would never be enough.
-
-
Loved this book so hard.
- By M. Ellen on 12-27-14
By: Rachel Van Dyken
-
The Punch Escrow
- By: Tal M. Klein
- Narrated by: Matthew Mercer
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
-
-
Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
-
The Outsider
- Roswell High Series, Book 1
- By: Melinda Metz
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He's not like other guys. Liz has seen him around school. It's hard to miss Max - the tall, blond, blue-eyed senior stands out among all the other students at Roswell High. So why is he such a loner? Max is in love with Liz. He loves the way her eyes light up when she laughs and the way her long, black hair moves when she turns her head. Most of all, he loves to imagine what it would be like to kiss her. But he knows he can't get too close. He can't risk her discovering the truth about who he is - or what he is....Because the truth could kill her.
-
-
The reader ruined it for me.
- By courtney callum on 04-02-19
By: Melinda Metz
-
Top Elf
- By: Caleb Zane Huett
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ollie and Celia think they know what the life of an elf is supposed to be like: Make toys. Help Santa. Make more toys. Help Santa. Try out a new ice-cream flavor. Help Santa. But then Santa rocks the North Pole with a surprise announcement! He's decided this is going to be his last year in the Big Red Suit, and, instead of letting his oldest son - the unfortunately named Klaus Claus - take over, he's opening up the job to any Claus or elf who wants to apply.
-
-
Santa Trials Contest- Fun for the whole Family
- By CuteAsADaisy on 01-03-21
By: Caleb Zane Huett
-
The Archangel: An Azrael Story
- The Soul Summoner Companion Stories, Book 3
- By: Elicia Hyder
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 2 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Archangel of Death is the master of taking human life. But keeping mortals alive? Not exactly Azrael's forte. For thousands of years, Azrael’s greatest enemy has been silent. Leaving him in relative peace for the first time since the great angel war. Now that silence has been broken, and the Morning Star has returned with a dangerous ultimatum: Azrael can join, or watch everything he loves be destroyed. Two lives hang in the balance - Azrael’s beloved human wife, Nadine, and their unborn, part-angel son...Warren.
-
-
Phenomenal!
- By Sam on 04-02-20
By: Elicia Hyder
-
Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
-
-
Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
-
Out of the Blue
- By: Jason June
- Narrated by: André Santana, Neo Cihi
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Crest is not excited to be on their Journey: the month-long sojourn on land all teen merfolk must undergo. The rules are simple: Help a human within one moon cycle and return to Pacifica to become an Elder—or fail and remain stuck on land forever. Crest is eager to get their Journey over and done with. Humans are disgusting. They’ve polluted the planet so much that there’s a floating island of trash that’s literally the size of a country.
-
-
it was meh
- By jose ortiz on 04-26-23
By: Jason June
-
A Little Night Magic
- By: Lucy March
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Olivia Kiskey needs a change. She’s been working at the same Nodaway Falls, New York, waffle house since she was a teenager; not a lot of upward mobility there. She’s been in love with Tobias, the cook, for the last four years; he's never made a move. Intent on shaking things up, Olivia puts her house on the market, buys a one-way ticket to Europe, and announces her plans to her friends - but then she meets Davina Granville, a strange and mystical Southern woman....
-
-
I really hope this turns into a series...
- By Shelly on 01-07-13
By: Lucy March
-
Elemental Mating
- By: Milly Taiden
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne, Tess Irondale
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Brilliant scientist Melinda Caster has discovered a new strain of the Zika virus that stimulates synaptic growth in embryos, causing neuron development beyond normal human levels. Way beyond, like ESP-levels of cognitive abilities. When the lab is broken into, Melinda realizes that someone has been keeping tabs on her research and wants it for themselves. A happy accident destroys critical data before it can fall into the wrong hands, but unfortunately that makes Melinda and her perfect memory a target.
-
-
Good story!
- By NancyB on 11-27-17
By: Milly Taiden
-
The Love Interest
- By: Cale Dietrich
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There is a secret organization that cultivates teenage spies. The agents are called Love Interests because getting close to people destined for great power means getting valuable secrets. Caden is a Nice: the boy next door, sculpted to physical perfection. Dylan is a Bad: the brooding, dark-souled guy, and dangerously handsome. The girl they are competing for is important to the organization, and each boy will pursue her. Will she choose a Nice or the Bad?
-
-
Jaysus, can Michael Crouch narrate my daily life?
- By ZippyBippy on 03-14-18
By: Cale Dietrich
-
Sister Mine
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"We'd had to be cut free of our mother's womb. Abby and I were fused, you see. But here's the real kicker; Abby had the magic, I didn't." Now adults, Makeda and Abby still share their childhood home. The surgery to separate the two girls left Makeda with what feels like an even worse deformity: no mojo. The daughters of a celestial demigod and a human woman, Makeda and Abby were raised by their magical father. Today, Makeda has decided it's high time to move out and make her own life.
-
-
Narrator saves this story
- By Denis A. on 03-21-14
By: Nalo Hopkinson
What listeners say about Don't Touch the Blue Stuff!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Me
- 09-21-17
Excellent book - well written, original, and funny
Any additional comments?
The author kindly provided me with a code for the audiobook on Audible and this is my honest review.
I thought both the book and the narration were excellent (like all of Rob's books). Rob Dircks is one of the best narrators I have listened to so it is great that the author narrates his own books. I listened to Where The Hell Is Tesla? for the second time yesterday and started this book around 10 minutes later. It was great to catch up with Chip, Pete, Nikola Tesla, and of course Bobo (he is just awesome) but also to be introduced to some fun new characters.
Both books in this series are very well written, original, and funny. As soon as I finished this book my first thought was that I will listen to the book again in a few months (I have read very few books twice). I highly recommend this book and if there is another sequel (I really hope there is) I will be very happy.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- anony mouse
- 12-02-17
just as much fun as the first
lots of fun, great that Rob wrote a sequel to this story which is in every way as much fun as the first.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 10-13-17
I can't believe I end up liking Chip sometimes
Chip is the type of guy responsible people would like to punch in the face but I think I laughed more than when listening to "Where the Hell is Tesla?" book 1(maybe even more laughs than "The Wrong Unit") and it is really fun to hear Tesla (the man not the band) in a non steampunk fiction.
Maybe the constant emails Chip writes to that young woman remind me of the letters I wrote my wife when I was deployed when we deployed including the not knowing if see would get them before I got home.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Shanda Douglas
- 09-28-18
This is a great read!
I loved the first book so much that I immediately bought this one. It did not disappoint. It was funny and warm and the perfect work read.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 02-13-19
One of my favorite books ever.
I loved this book and really want to hear a 3rd and 4th and 5th. I really liked the format of how he sends emails and notes to self. The book filled my with joy and sadness (only when boob leaves ). I almost spent a whole night listening to this book.
If I were going to rate this book it would be a 10 out of 10. The character development with Chip and Julie. And I think that Rob Dircks should make a whole book on boob and him fighting at his home world.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- carmen
- 10-01-18
Very Entertaining
I laughed all the way through. I hope there are more sequels. The crazy worlds this author come up with. But what I like about it is it just slightly different than your world so you can imagine it without a lot of exposition. The story is told as if the narrator is writing a journal, to his wife, about what he did on his “adventure “. This way he can reveal how he is feeling and other crazy thought he might be having. This is a sequel but he does a two minute catch up so it is not necessary to have read the first book. Although if you did read the first book this is in no way a rehash of it. It is just more “adventures”. Anyway this is not a literary work of genius but is very fun so I recommend it.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 06-30-18
A fun romp
This book has absolutely no redeeming social value. And because of that or in spite of that (you pick), you should listen to it immediately.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amber
- 03-21-19
Read this and feel smarter than normal people
I was super excited to see a follow-up to Where the He'll is Telsa? and I was not disappointed. This book has every cool character one can imagine, and one or two absolutely no one but Rob Dirks could dream up.
It's fast paced, funny, smart, and only once or twice mildly annoying! -But that's Chip Collins, interdimensional man of mystery for you...
Read this and feel superior to all your boring friends...they have no clue.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- pems-integ-tests
- 01-04-19
I hope there will be more from Rob Dirckd. We need more light stories.
With all of the heavy stories dealing with current morals and such, it is nice to have some light stories which are well tied together in science, in character consistency, and in plot.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- nicole
- 09-11-18
Rather enjoyable
I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. Honestly, I picked it up because of the title and ended up laughing frequently at the absurdity of the humor. I recommend this book to people who are looking for a humorous story that can make them smile.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful