Romancing the Shadow: Illuminating the Dark Side of the Soul

By: Connie Zweig, Steve Wolf

Narrated by: Dr. Connie Zweig, Dr. Steve Wolf

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious." (C. G. Jung)

Within each woman and man, the dim cavern of the unconscious holds our forbidden feelings, secret wishes, and creative urges. Over time, these "dark" forces take on a life of their own, forming an intuitively recognizable figure - the shadow. A recurring theme in literature and legend, the shadow is like an invisible twin, a stranger that is us yet is not us. When it acts out in the public domain, we witness our leaders, like hero-villains, fall from grace in scandal. Closer to home, we may feel overcome with rage, obsession, and shame or succumb to self-destructive lies, addiction, or depression. These appearances of the shadow introduce us to the Other, a powerful force that defies our efforts to tame and control it.

Steve Wolf, PhD, and Connie Zweig, PhD, innovators in the use of shadow-work in psychotherapy, have helped hundreds of clients in their encounters with the dark side. Seeing it - meeting the shadow - is a first step. Learning to live with it - romancing the shadow - is a lifelong challenge. It means reading the messages encoded in the events of daily life in such a way that we gain consciousness, substance, and soul. In fact, shadow-work is soul work.

With shadow-work, we cultivate a deeper self-knowledge and authenticity. When we identify family shadow patterns, we move toward cultivating family soul. When we untangle romantic projections, we begin to build the soul of a relationship. When we face descent at midlife and meet the underworld shadow, we reclaim the unlived life of the soul. And when we retrieve our lost vitality and creative fertility - the gold in the dark side - we nurture the hungry soul.

©1997 Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf (P)2018 Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf

Good story… But…

It was good story with plenty food for thought. Narrators are a bit annoying however.

Good introduction to the shadow

I thought they did a good job of going through
and explaining the concept of the shadow. It was complicated but I retained enough to be happy.

Clear, concise discussion of working with our own and other's shadows.

Practical suggestions on how to effectively work constructively with the Shadow in ourselves and others.

Had to write this review

This is my first review after nearly 100 audibles. This book has incredibly fresh insights into our behavior, unconscious and conscious.

As a recovering victim of many such addictions, parental abuse, and other impactful developmental factors, this book clearly lays out causes, both direct and indirect of what causes us to act in what we commonly say as “out of character”, and experience a level of shame.

The truth is- we all have these moments, but like the author says, this “lighting of the candles” of the mind will help you romance your shadow and ultimately, bring your self identity and shadow identity closer in sync.

Required Reading

I have been through a lot of therapy in my time on earth but this 3-hour audio book is probably more illuminating than the hundreds spent in the chair.

I’ll be referencing this for the rest of my life as I continue to romance my shadow.