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The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning Audiobook

The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

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Publisher's Summary

With some 66 hits under his belt, Tomislav Bokšic, or Toxic, has a flawless record as hitman for the Croatian mafia in New York. That is, until he kills the wrong guy and is forced to flee the States, leaving behind the life he knows and loves. Suddenly, he finds himself on a plane hurtling toward Reykjavik disguised as American televangelist Father Friendly. With no means of escape from this island devoid of gun shops, this country with absolutely no tradition for contract killing, he is forced to come to terms with his bloody past and reevaluate his future, to tragicomic effect. Toxic paints Iceland as an icy netherworld where in spite of peaceful appearances danger lurks - in the guise of terrifying romantic overtures with tough-girl Gunholder, fear of being caught in his blasphemous deception, and the threat of punishment at the hands of Thordur... whose name seems to be pronounced “Torture.”

©2012 Hallgrimur Helgason (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"A sensational book. Hallgrimur Helgason's brain is like this amazing app that morphs the English language into gorgeously blunt new forms. It delivers surprise after surprise and makes you feel good about books again. I can't recommend it enough." (Douglas Coupland, author of Generation X)

"If you read this I predict [Helgason]’ll be in your mind to stay.” (DBC Pierre, Man Booker Prize-winning author of Vernon God Little)

“[Helgason is] uproarious, sharp, and outrageously funny.” (Kirkus Reviews)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.6 (168 )
5 star
 (51)
4 star
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3 star
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3.5 (158 )
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1 star
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Story
4.1 (157 )
5 star
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4 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
 (9)
Performance
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  •  
    Rajesh Ahmedabad Gujarat India 08-24-14
    Rajesh Ahmedabad Gujarat India 08-24-14 Member Since 2016

    Legal Thrillers, crime, fiction. humor and a bit of management sprinkled with some self improvement. All through Audible.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laugh and Smile through the book!"

    Unless you get annoyed with the Croatian accent this book is a laugh riot. It is without a serious plot, it just the narrative and style which is funny. A hit man escapes and takes an identity of priest in Iceland. But the events, goof ups, the characters and the wise cracks made the book worth listening to. I was laughing aloud at some instance. I do not think this book would have been as funny if it was read without the accent. It is a short book. Worth for a relaxed trip!

    Check out the sample before you download, there is a thick eastern European accent at may not be something you can decipher.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kevin 04-15-14
    Kevin 04-15-14 Member Since 2010

    Husband, Dad, Principal, Adjunct prof, RC Deacon, radio co-host, story teller, NYer, walker, & occasional sipper of fine whisk(e)y,

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    "funny journey"

    Out of nowhere a Cruasian professional killer becomes an american evangelist in iceland, and thats just the beginning Luke Daniels is wonderful Well worth a credit!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    M. 04-29-13
    M. 04-29-13 Member Since 2012
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    "Not worth the credit I paid for it"

    Unfortunately for me I kept expecting the same gripping suspense and detail as the Stieg Larsson novels...guess not all Nordic writers are that good.

    I listened to the whole book expecting something to happen and really get me interested, to no avail.

    The performance was the only part of this edition that was funny at times, ergo the 3 stars on that account. Wish the content had been...

    Don't bother with this one.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    William R. SAN FRANCISCO, CA, United States 06-11-12
    William R. SAN FRANCISCO, CA, United States 06-11-12 Member Since 2016

    Author, rabid Audible listener.

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    "A Unique and Engaging Hitman Comedy"

    Tomislav Bok??i??, also known as "Toxic" is a hitman with a heart. He works for the mafia in New York and killed the wrong man so needs to do the LPP (Lowest Profile Possible) for awhile. Toxic goes overseas acting as a different person.

    It is here where the story really begins. Half the story is Toxic's new life abroad and the other half is his telling stories about how Tomislav Bok??i?? became Toxic. The stories are funny and heartfelt but as you get through the book you will find the amusing anecdotes to start pulling at your heart strings.

    This book is both funny and difficult to get through at the same time. I found myself caring more and more for this sorry guy just as some characters in the book did.

    The whole "Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning" marketing bit is off a single line in the book that really has nothing to do with the overall story line but it is one of the funnier moments in the book.

    Enjoy this engaging and unique book but be prepared to focus your listening since Luke Daniels puts on a heavy accent for the character.

    -Bill

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jane Chicago, IL, United States 05-31-13
    Jane Chicago, IL, United States 05-31-13 Member Since 2015
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    "Some find this humorous,"

    but it did not work for me. The narrator made it worse.

    It was dragging and dragging. Finally at about half way through I stopped reading and jumped to the last two chapters.

    I might have liked it better if I were reading as opposed to listening. The narrator used a strong Croatian accent and an Icelandic accent. The accents were not enjoyable. There’s a reason TV anchors sound the same - it’s pleasant for the majority of the population.

    There was one scene I found funny. Andro was a crazy gay boy who jerked off two men at the same time, one Serbian, one Croatian. The author said “It was the strangest image I have from that f***ing war. If we had gay nations there would be less wars.”

    I did not like the ending. The main guy/narrator is shot. We don’t know if he lives or dies. It was not funny.

    The title is misleading because it is such a minor part of the story. Toxic enters a girl’s messy home to hideout. He cleans it before she arrives home.

    Genre: humorous crime fiction

    3 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Regina Seattle 03-10-12
    Regina Seattle 03-10-12 Member Since 2017
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    "Sluggish"

    Funny in spots, with a great narrator stuck with a slack plot. If the story were about a middle-aged man plagued with bunions, the timing and plot structure would make more sense. As it is, the travails of a serial killer, it's just goofy, and not in a good way.

    3 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David Mendez 01-27-15 Member Since 2014

    melobites

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Could not get past the first two chapters"
    What disappointed you about The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning?

    General story line is bland, crude and the narrator did not help, trying to do a fake eastern European accent...not good at all


    Has The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No, still like the genre


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Luke Daniels?

    Book is bad, narrator made it unbearable


    0 of 2 people found this review helpful

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