Regular price: $24.49

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
OR
In Cart

Publisher's Summary

Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities, but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences.

In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way - rather than beating yourself up. You'll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialogue between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.

©2014 Leslie Becker-Phelps (P)2015 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"A godsend for those who unknowingly bring a lot of angst into a relationship." ( Library Journal)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    177
  • 4 Stars
    54
  • 3 Stars
    16
  • 2 Stars
    7
  • 1 Stars
    2

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    138
  • 4 Stars
    44
  • 3 Stars
    24
  • 2 Stars
    6
  • 1 Stars
    4

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    142
  • 4 Stars
    37
  • 3 Stars
    23
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    3
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent book

This book really helped me understand why I reacted certain ways in past relationships AND it has great exercises to help move toward a more secure way of thinking. If you've ever asked yourself, "Why did I do that?", or if you've ever felt you didn't deserve to be loved this is a must read.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book!

Very therapeutic researched advice that helped me a lot in dealing with an avoidant female. Couldn't recommend this book enough for anyone.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent Book

So much great and useful information in this book. The exercises are very helpful in healing your heart and creating more secure attachments.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Need a companion workbook or the written text.

Lots of excellent suggested self work but hard to stop what your doing when listening to audio Will be purchasing the written book and / or workbook if available

7 of 9 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

attachment theory

good book i learned a lot, it has a lot of ideas mirroring "attached" which i recommend reading first

12 of 17 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent read

I really enjoyed the book and was surprised at how much it knew about my anxiously attached behaviors. If you want to read something that will give you tools to get out of the anxious cycle you are and and have a healthy lasting relationship, buy this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

great read

Definitely helpful for learning how to manage my own emotions and feelings. definitely recommend to others who want to have more self control and want to feel like they are empowered.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

This offers hope

If you have difficulty with relationships or pervasive patterns of problems in relationships, listen to the book. Twice preferably.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • SNT
  • CR
  • 09-16-18

Excelente, lleno de claves para relaciones

Este libro explica de manera muy comprensiva y empática el tema del apego en las relaciones. Varios ejercicios y preguntas reflexivas dan pie para trabajar, tanto individualmente, como en pareja. Tal vez sería mejor tener la versión impresa, para poder realizar las preguntas más fácilmente, pero nivel de contenido está excelente..Muy bien redactado, muy ordenado de forma coherente y definitivamente lo termino con un montón de conocimiento que voy a poder poner en práctica para mejorar mi relación conmigo mismo, mis parejas e incluso mi familia.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

not good

I have listened to several other books on this subject and this one is very poor..

Sort by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • deathzerozero
  • 05-28-18

Extremely basic.

Pick a partner you have things in common with and communicate is the message of this book. Not enough about why you might have an insecure attachment style in the first place or how to tackle that.
The narrator sounds like computer generated sepeech.
If you have done any kind of work on yourself or relationships this will be no help.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • cmj123
  • 05-16-17

Great relationship insight

It really takes two willing partners to build a secured lasting relationship. We have to be willing and accepting of ourselves and the other self.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Pieter van Woerkom
  • 04-24-17

Excellent self help book

Great practical advice for those people who feel insecure in love. Lays out theory in clear concise way and good practical exercises to develop a more secure style of relationship both towards yourself, your significant other and others in general. Highly recommended

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 03-20-18

Helped alot

I loved it and listening to it again; especially chapters 3&10 that taught about pursuit-retreat behaviour.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • tarshandhalo
  • 07-19-17

Informative & Helpful

What did you like most about Insecure in Love?

It gives in-depth information and explains the different types of anxiety and personality types

Who was your favorite character and why?

N/A

What about Susan Boyce’s performance did you like?

clear language

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

just seeing that i do the things in this book and that can be a little confronting

Any additional comments?

I recommend it

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • DanB12
  • 03-12-17

Worth repeated listening. Potential to change lives.

Learned so much about attachment systems which help me understand the primal pain caused in/by/reactions to relationships.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful