Insecure in Love

How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
Narrated by: Susan Boyce
Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (490 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities, but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences.

In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way - rather than beating yourself up. You'll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialogue between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.

©2014 Leslie Becker-Phelps (P)2015 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"A godsend for those who unknowingly bring a lot of angst into a relationship." ( Library Journal)

What listeners say about Insecure in Love

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Excellent book

This book really helped me understand why I reacted certain ways in past relationships AND it has great exercises to help move toward a more secure way of thinking. If you've ever asked yourself, "Why did I do that?", or if you've ever felt you didn't deserve to be loved this is a must read.

11 people found this helpful

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Narrator, Please Take a Drink—I Beg You

As far as the book goes, it’s amazing, and I highly recommend it to anyone—especially those suffering from an anxious attachment style. However, as far as the actual audiobook goes, I couldn’t wait for it to be over. It was so painful to listen to the narrator’s dry mouth. I cringed every time she swallowed or opened her mouth to read. It was extremely distracting. I had to force myself to listen to the whole thing.

6 people found this helpful

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Great book!

Very therapeutic researched advice that helped me a lot in dealing with an avoidant female. Couldn't recommend this book enough for anyone.

5 people found this helpful

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I don’t normally leave reviews

This book was absolutely incredible, so many powerful insights to help mainly people struggling with insecurity in love relationships. I can’t recommend it enough

4 people found this helpful

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Excellent read

I really enjoyed the book and was surprised at how much it knew about my anxiously attached behaviors. If you want to read something that will give you tools to get out of the anxious cycle you are and and have a healthy lasting relationship, buy this book.

4 people found this helpful

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Need a companion workbook or the written text.

Lots of excellent suggested self work but hard to stop what your doing when listening to audio Will be purchasing the written book and / or workbook if available

10 people found this helpful

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great read

Definitely helpful for learning how to manage my own emotions and feelings. definitely recommend to others who want to have more self control and want to feel like they are empowered.

2 people found this helpful

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Excellent Book

So much great and useful information in this book. The exercises are very helpful in healing your heart and creating more secure attachments.

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This offers hope

If you have difficulty with relationships or pervasive patterns of problems in relationships, listen to the book. Twice preferably.

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attachment theory

good book i learned a lot, it has a lot of ideas mirroring "attached" which i recommend reading first

16 people found this helpful

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  • deathzerozero
  • 05-28-18

Extremely basic.

Pick a partner you have things in common with and communicate is the message of this book. Not enough about why you might have an insecure attachment style in the first place or how to tackle that.
The narrator sounds like computer generated sepeech.
If you have done any kind of work on yourself or relationships this will be no help.

3 people found this helpful

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  • cmj123
  • 05-16-17

Great relationship insight

It really takes two willing partners to build a secured lasting relationship. We have to be willing and accepting of ourselves and the other self.

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  • Pieter van Woerkom
  • 04-24-17

Excellent self help book

Great practical advice for those people who feel insecure in love. Lays out theory in clear concise way and good practical exercises to develop a more secure style of relationship both towards yourself, your significant other and others in general. Highly recommended

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  • DanB12
  • 03-12-17

Worth repeated listening. Potential to change lives.

Learned so much about attachment systems which help me understand the primal pain caused in/by/reactions to relationships.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-20-18

Helped alot

I loved it and listening to it again; especially chapters 3&10 that taught about pursuit-retreat behaviour.

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  • tarshandhalo
  • 07-19-17

Informative & Helpful

What did you like most about Insecure in Love?

It gives in-depth information and explains the different types of anxiety and personality types

Who was your favorite character and why?

N/A

What about Susan Boyce’s performance did you like?

clear language

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

just seeing that i do the things in this book and that can be a little confronting

Any additional comments?

I recommend it