How to Test Negative for Stupid

And Why Washington Never Will

By: John Kennedy

Narrated by: John Kennedy

One of the most distinctive and funny politicians, Senator John Kennedy (the one from Louisiana)—hailed by Politico as “America’s most quotable Senator”—offers his perceptive (and hilarious) takes on the ridiculousness of political life in this scathingly witty takedown of Washington and its elite denizens.

How to Test Negative for Stupid offers the Senator’s tongue-in-cheek guidebook through Washington, punctuated by his thoughts on various issues and humorous stories about life from Louisiana politics and inside the Senate.

From the mind—and mouth—of "America's Most Quotable Senator":

“Always be yourself . . . unless you suck.”

“I say this gently: This is why the aliens won’t talk to us.”

“If you trust government, you obviously failed history class.”

“I believe that our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.”

“Always follow your heart . . . but take your brain with you.”

“I’m not going to Bubble Wrap it: The water in Washington, D.C., won’t clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.”

“I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.”

“Common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C., I know. I’ve seen it firsthand.”

“I believe that we are going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. All the old ones turned out to be true.”

©2025 John Kennedy (P)2025 HarperCollins Publishers

Wow

A book that shows clarity through stories and funnies about how our government is wrong ….. beware it might make you a day drinker

Santa Candy is a very good storyteller.

I truly enjoyed this book I find them very funny and numerous and enjoy this life story.

That Southern Cool. And the constant Southern anecdotes, which are absolutely hilarious.

How is there anything to not like?
I judge a book by me being sad that it's over. Regardless of the finality of the ending. Wishing I could just have some more.
And by how fast I roll through it. As if time disappeared.
Well, nailed it on all counts.
Just download the book.
You'll agree with most of us that loved it.

Pithy, Not Pissy

I’ve always enjoyed John Kennedy’s special way of plain speaking in a fancy wrapper.
This book was no exception. Very enjoyable!

The Truth of all that has happened these past 5 years!

As a black man, I understand everything that John has said about things are what you make it to be. And I always love the way he tell the story.

I Wish More Were Like Him

I've always liked hearing Senator Kennedy's comments and sound bites on the news. This book gives the reader, in his own words and by his own voice, the man behind them all. His honesty and insight are refreshing. In it, he shares how strongly he believes in maintaining the integrity of his office. I think anyone choosing to read this book will be rewarded by Senator Kennedy's plain-spoken words of wisdom.

Stupid should be Painful

I loved every word of this book. Thankfully, I listen to books on tape. Hearing Mr Kennedy’s book in HIS voice is PRICELESS! Nobody delivers his humor like he does! I have been recommending his book to everyone I can. Love Kennedy!

Roll Tide Senator.

Geaux Tigers. I will use some of your one-liners for sure. We met in Philly a year ago with our new PA Senator. Thank you for sharing your views. I hope you sell one million copies.

TRUTH

Liked that Kennedy read the book!!
Made it all the more interesting!!! Give it a try!!

Honesty

Common sense, a true concern for his America. His approach to a good life is not living a lie!!