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Publisher's Summary

From the creator of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western.

Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls. Poisonous snakes. Cholera-infected drinking water. Tumbleweed abrasion. Something called “toe-foot.” Even a trip to the outhouse. Yes, there are a million ways to die in the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to avoid them all. Some people think that makes him a coward. Albert calls it common sense. But when his girlfriend dumps him for the most insufferable guy in town, Albert decides to fight back - even though he can’t shoot, ride, or throw a punch. Fortunately, he teams up with a beautiful gunslinger who’s tough enough for the both of them. Unfortunately, she’s married to the biggest, meanest, most jealous badass on the frontier. Turns out Albert has just discovered a million and one ways to die in the West.

©2014 Seth MacFarlane (P)2014 Random House Audio

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Kahle
  • Texas & California
  • 05-20-14

Prepare to constantly adjust your volume

What did you love best about Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West?

The author. It is so refreshing to see a visual entertainment artist have the chops to put words on paper in an engaging and interesting novel. He's talented and his book shows it.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Anna, by far. I'm sure the upcoming movie will reflect this as well.

How could the performance have been better?

THE NARRATOR DOES NOT MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT VOLUME! It is terribly frustrating how the narrator reads dialogue in a loud booming voice and story narration in a quiet one. I have to CONSTANTLY change my volume to accommodate him, which is frustrating by itself, but even moreso how his booming dialogue narration scares the crap out of me when I'm not expecting it. Plus, I'm listening with other people around so I'm trying to be considerate and that's made more difficult as well by having to adjust the volume after the fact.

Who was the most memorable character of Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West and why?

This question is too similar to "who was my favorite character" and I don't feel like answering.

Any additional comments?

I feel like I just filled out a homework assignment worksheet... :)

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funnier then the movie.

Where does Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

As I have not been here long, I do not have much to measure by but on it our, it ranks highest.

Who was your favorite character and why?

I loved the main character, He reminds me of myself. As if I was the main character.

What does Jonathan Frakes bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Jonathan Frakes gave each character a 'voice'. He brought each one to life.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

Knowing this book was written after he movie, I think Seth already has that covered.

Any additional comments?

I honestly think this book was more entertaining then the movie. There is a level of details included in the book that make it great.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • shalte
  • san jose, CA, United States
  • 03-07-14

Huge Laughs, Greatest Girlfriend Ever!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. This book is essential reading for all humans interested in any / all of the following:
1. spending an enjoyable 5 hrs listening to a funny story; 2. laughing when a humorous scene unfolds - and my unofficial count came to 32 give or take a couple; and 3. rooting for the underdog character reeling from the blows but staying strong and sliding into a relationship upgrade before the curtain falls.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The girlfriend of Albert's best friend. Where to begin? No joke - get this audiobook and let her world wash over you like a sticky spatter of love. What a woman! She is a hard working young lady absolutely dedicated to providing her diverse, loyal customer base 100% guaranteed satisfaction. Her front door, back door, even the upstairs window are always open. She will bend over backwards, even get on her knees to please her clients.

With all of this said, don't forget that she is also deeply in love with Edward, her not-so-worldly shoe repairing boyfriend. Their love is the love that lasts through all time. Edward is a lucky man to have her by his side.

What does Jonathan Frakes bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

He narrated this audiobook cleanly and mixed in some well done voices for the diverse cast of characters.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

I was particularly touched in the scene where Edward shows up at his girlfriend's work a bit early before she is done for the day in order to surprise her. He has to wait a few minutes becausesShe is getting drilled hard by one of her customers. When he hears her soft rhythmic moaning subside and then her begging for her cowboy to cum in her mouth, he knew it wouldn't be long before she would walk down those stairs and into his loving arms. Their embrace in the lobby was as tender a moment as I can ever recall. Love IS a wonderous thing!

Any additional comments?

Buy this audiobook! A wonderful way to spend an afternoon. If you don't find this book funny, then you are not the answer, you are the problem!

Hey Seth, hope there is more stuff like this in that dome of yours. This is my kind of out of left field, bust up laughing book so rarely offered by Audible these days. Keep pumping out the good stuff, and I will keep coughing up the jack to buy it.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

laugh out loud hilarious!!

Yes. I've seen the movie. But the books are always better than the movie, right?? This one is no exception. It's funnier than the movie and Jonathan Frakes performance is fantastic. If you are a fan of this genre, go for it. You won't be disappointed.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

you must listen to this audiobook just for

the glory of hearing Riker say, "I wanna shoot you in the dick with a bullet made of cancer."

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Just as good as the movie!

just as good as the movie and with Jonathan Franks narrating it is just hilarious!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great Book

I loved the book! Jonathan Frakes was easily able to give each character a voice!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Typical Seth MacFarlane humor...

What made the experience of listening to Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West the most enjoyable?

Jonathan Frakes made this story most enjoyable!

What did you like best about this story?

The crazy characters and edgy comedy.

Have you listened to any of Jonathan Frakes’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

This was the first for me...certainly won't be the last.

If you could rename Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, what would you call it?

How the good guy always gets the girl in the end, especially in cheesy westerns.

Any additional comments?

This was an entertaining and fun story, just the way nature (and Seth MacFarlane) had intended.