Dear Joan & Jericha - Why He Turns Away: Do's and Don'ts from Dating to Death

By: Joan Damry, Jericha Domain

Narrated by: Joan Damry, Jericha Domain

Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins

Publisher's Summary

We dedicate this tome to Mahmoud, surgeon, prophet, model and friend, whose long hands guided us, whose cinnamon whispers soothed us, whose hot nose nudged us until this book was finally birthed, proud and powerful. Much like the man himself.

This golden man is not simply an outstanding surgeon, capable of performing up to 30 hysterectomies a day (often blindfolded), but is, in his own right, a visionary, a soothsayer, a chosen one. It was Mahmoud's dream (recounted to us one night in his Harley street rooms as we gulped at his purple port with a big stinky cheese) of the pair of us, bare-breasted atop stallions tossing to the world this handwritten guide to life, sex and all the bits in between, that brought us here, to you.

As much revered celebrities, living glamorous and wealthy lifestyles, we do of course come under fire. There has recently been vicious slander circulating, regarding a small handful of folk who have written to us with a problem and having listened to our response, gone on to take their own lives. As if the two were somehow connected.

These naysayers are generally bitter and jealous spinsters, taking perverse and sadistic pleasure in being vindictive and nasty, while no doubt masturbating at the same time. To these lonely ladies we would say, 'Go look in your own heart, knock ye there and ask yourself some difficult questions. Because you will find the real guilt writhing within ye, like maggots mating in yesterday's apple.'

What we offer here is a lifeline, a service, much like the NHS, or perhaps more accurately, the AA. Joan and Jericha: AA for the heart. Affording you the opportunity to have a breakdown, call for a pick-up truck, stop off for a Full English whilst a hairy guy in a grubby onesie fumbles under your bonnet and tweaks at your wiring, before sending you on your way, lubricated, primed, pumped and pretty.

With kind regards,

Joan Damry and Jericha Domain OBE MBE (etc)

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2020 Joan Damry and Jericha Domain (P)2020 Orion Publishing Group Limited

Fun - up to a point

I bought this because I love Vicki Pepperdine, and she and Julia Davis get a lot of comedy out of delivering extreme raunch and scatology as if they were talking about a recipe for a yummy blackcurrant crumble or how to encourage hedgehogs to frequent your garden. I decided after a couple of hours, however, that I didn't really need any more--the rest of the audiobook was going to be pretty similar to what I had already heard.

Hilariously filthy

Fans of the podcast should love this one, it’s laugh-out-loud funny and eccentrically, breathtakingly dirty

Ridiculously funny!

These ladies are so funny! Their advise and opinions are absolutely backwards and over the top and they had me cracking up through out!

The Holy Grail for Spinsters!

As a withered 41 year old spinster with chronic vaginismus & a prolapsed love life, this is the holy grail book of advice on how to attract a man. Having listened I am certain I could now bag Antonio Banderas or similar. Thank you Joan & Jericha.

Monstrously Funny

Utterly monstrous satire and hysterically, disgustingly laugh-out-loud funny (as long as youre not easily offended)

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

This is absolutely hilarious, I've had it on from start to finish all day.
Everything is so ridiculous and its just stupid humour, I love it.

So wrong, yet so funny

This book is probably the best audiobook I have got this year by far I absolutely love Vicki and Julia in this! If you love the podcast you’re going to love this audio book! Absolutely brilliant but not for the easily offended!!!

everything I ever wanted in an audio book

full of tips and advice that I'm sure a lot of people will benefit from.

recipies that are easy to follow and administer if need be.

A tell ALL intimate peek in Joan and jerrichas world.

Thank you ladies

Thank you for making this, a highlight of 2020 and making me laugh constantly. The podcast season 3 next pretty please!!
Joan and jericha and friends!? 👀

I loved the podcast but....

I loved the podcast but something about the format really caused me to struggle, the very obscenity and satire which made me laugh out loud in the long form became almost a grind and too much rescued only by their impressive performance- how this works in book form I can only imagine as this seemed to be so much ad lib. I think the way to listen to this book is in chapters with a break, that's not how I listen to audiobooks really. not for the faint hearted.

hilarious

very funny. I'm glad I got the audio book rather than hard copy as the narration makes it

True genius, not for the easily offended

Even though their podcast format does not perfectly transition to a book format, it is still a 5 star listen,

I love the show, and have done from the start, and found this book to be excellent, but only 30 minutes at a time.

If you are a person who wakes up each morning looking to be offended by the world, then give this a miss.

These ladies are amazing!

Hillarious

I have not stopped laughing! Like the podcasts and just as funny. Brilliant. Glad I got the audio book as it they both bring it to life