Daring to Trust

Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy

By: David Richo

Narrated by: Tom Pile

Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins

Publisher's summary

Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it's fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust - both in ourselves and in our partner. Daring to Trust offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include:

• How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them)
• Why we fear trusting
• Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others
• How to know if someone is trustworthy
• Nave trust vs. healthy, adult trust
• What to do when trust is broken

Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.

©2010 David Richo (P)2014 Audible, Inc.

Useful, seriously useful

I was looking for a structured way to learn about my recently acknowledged issues with trust, this book was perfect.
Personally it resonated with me and provided valuable insight into the reasons for the way I feel.
It also provided practical practise techniques which I have begun to employ and have made a significant (positive) impact on my relationship.
The anxiety that used to strike me about 'imaginary things' has almost entirely gone. I can manage things now.

I couldn't thank the author enough for putting the time into writing this book.

Great book

Lots of good info. I found it really helpful. My only complaint was the reader was hard to listen to. I found my mind wondering a lot and having to rewind. Very monotone put you to sleep style.

I just got a download from the Matrix...

Best book I've read by this author so far, and a new favorite. It's rare for me to find a book that I resonate with at near 100%, but here it is. This guy really knows what he's talking about.

One of the things I love about this book is that he breaks away from contemporary, traditional western thought in the realm of counseling in favor of a more realistic, less socially-acceptable view. Not all relationships or marriages are salvageable. He goes on list some of the reasons that suggest when a union is, and when it isn't. If reasons for staying together include having children together, religious views, social contracts/family pressure, finances ... we are not likely to succeed in our quest to make the relationship mutually satisfying. If reasons include the seemingly selfish "we're really into each other," or "we still love each other intensely," then the relationship may be saved because there is possibly enough motivation to make the necessary changes for both people to be happy. WOW.

Talk about a liberating view. This is a somewhat bittersweet truth that I've struggled with for years. To hear him validate what I all long suspected releases me from a burden of guilt.

Additionally, I also deeply respect his view (once again, breaking away from cookie-cutter Western psychology) that chemistry is not the Devil, and we don't have to base our primary relationship on compatibility alone, but rather, should aim for both compatibility and chemistry. While compatibility is not only desirable, but necessary, chemistry also plays an important role. It shows us where our personality work is to be done (internally), and also, what we may be missing from our current relationship. This is not a bad thing. For one, we can use the information we are receiving to help us along our path to wholeness; to help us grow - a valuable blessing in a relationship. Furthermore, if we are already in a (mostly) happy relationship, we may use the information as a way to improve our current primary relationship by including what we are missing (the "Five A's" -- appreciation, acceptance, allowing, affection, and attention). Of course, this can only work if we have a partner who is willing and able to make such changes - but it is a wonderful encouragement to the idea that long-term fidelity is a real possibility. We do not have to act on every attraction we feel, but rather, may simply use these experiences as information for improvement of our primary relationship.

Healing

I had been struggling with trust anyone outside of my family or close friends after a partner in a past relationship was unfaithful. This book allowed me to understand what trust is, why is it so important, why I felt the way I did and how to overcome it at a DEEPER level. I no longer hold resentment on myself, him or the universe for my experience. This book has changed my life in how I view myself, others and experiences. It applies to all areas of life. I am a better elementary teacher because of this book.

I Want a Refund

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

If you like monotonous and boring, or want a book as a lullaby

Would you ever listen to anything by David Richo again?

NO

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Incredibly bad narration. No inflection, no change in tone, no passion. Just one tone and dragged on.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

No. I couldn't pay attention long enough to grasp a single concept.

Any additional comments?

Please have a different person narrate this book. The topic seemed very interesting and I was very hopeful, but the narration was just incredibly insufferable.

Breath meaningfully and trust in yourself!

Very happy I purchased this book. Have been able to do a lot of deep work inside my soul and heart. The audio was great and enjoyed the readers voice. Trust means so much more to me now.

Interesante como abordó el tema.

Me gusto en general, mas creo que mola tópicos usados para explicar el tema central son repetición de otro autores.

Zoned out a lot

Hhhm. I really tried to give this book I try on audible; however, I zoned out a lot. It’s not that the boom itself wants tmaube interesting (could’ve been) it’s that the man reading the book was just—— meh.. didn’t keep me engaged, entertained, it was more like a book if you’re trying to sleep? I wonder if anyone else felt the same way. I might try the book in paper, but not in the audible format.

Insightful and comforting.

I will be listening to this book many more times. Each time I know that I will reinforce what I've learned in previous listens.

Good points but difficult to listen.

I had a hard time concentrating on the voice. The material presented had good points. Thank you!

Good guidance!

Want to be vulnerable but not have people walk over you? This book offers good guidance.

Problematic, generic and narrow minded, oversimplified but also over complicated?

It’s just a very traditional and one dimensional conceptualisation of relationships whilst somehow also over complicating ? A lot of “men are like this and women are like this” generalisations à la women are from Venus men are from mars. I found it quite frustrating that he emphasises compassion but portrays women as needy, neurotic and clingy vs men being obsessed with “freedom” . Just quite old fashioned and sexist. The basis of this book’s philosophy is based on Buddhist beliefs on compassion which is great but I don’t think the writer does it justice. Also note that much of the books principles hang on belief in a « higher power ». In my opinion this isn’t the book on psychology I thought it was. I don’t think it’s a very useful ressource for people seeking to work on their trust issues, in fact I think it has the potential to make it worse! Doesn’t really acknowledge that people often have different emotional needs and communication styles. It’s like he assumes that couples basically live in a couple therapy session. He uses fictional examples which are again very stereotypical but also unnecessary. Double lives, obsession, addiction, lies (so many lies) hello paranoia ! I thought we were supposed to be working on trust? It’s really a book speculating on why some people breach trust and how to protect yourself but not really on healing personal trust issues. Again I can’t get over the sexist assumptions. A lot about women giving men all their power because women are emotionally unstable and obsessive. So much infantilisation of women! Also alot about how to make yourself more appealing be “less demanding” as a woman. Super weird. These aren’t case studies but fictional and it is always extremely gendered not to mention hétéronormatif. It works on the assumption all women are bunny boilers and all men are wolves of wall street. I found that quite unfair to men and women alike not to mention odd considering the books agenda and emphasis on Buddhist teaching. I just think of you have difficulty trusting people it’s not going to help to be told that everyone is overbearing and stifling trying to steal your freedom and individuality, to control you and possess you, to lead a double life and be unfaithful. ALSO, HE SAYS THAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN BETRAYED TEND TO BE UNTRUSTWORTHY THEMSELVES. He actually says this. That hurt children hurt other children and people who have been betrayed in the past will inevitably betray others. Talk about victim blaming. And completely erroneous
. I feel like this is a bit manipulative on the author’s behalf. Clearly everyone reading this book is going to be working through trust issues, quite likely stemming from previous betrayal. The author then tells you need his book in order to rectify this. Clearly a book selling tactic. Just a really problematic, square and stale conception of relationships. Some things don’t make sense, at times he acknowledges the validity of ethical non-monogamy but spends most of the book rejecting them. Overall I didn’t feel represented by this book and felt it played into negative stereotypes without actually addressing trust issues.

Amazing book!

I loved this book & am so grateful to have read it! Highly recommend to everyone

Useful but too long.

Useful generic affirmations and ways to live.
Too much waffle and wishy washy sermonising. Then the conclusion is an intro to Buddhism.

Great at the start - very disappointing towards the end

He tries to spin his own interpretation of the Bible/the ancient book of wisdom
Complete flop at the end

A powerful transmission

Listening to this audio has been a informative and contemplative opportunity. I have resonated with it from the very beginning where it elucidates the factors of trust and trustworthiness in key relationships. Primarily with partners and how to overcome broken trust or breaking trust. Then moving on to the core origins of trust in ourselves and the world, and finally the spiritual aspect that emerges through us towards all things and experiences. I am enriches and grateful that this book is offered without cost.
Thank you.

thank you

This came along at just the right moment and has helped me in my journey

A thoughtful and insightful book

So much insight and wisdom, I will have to register to this book a few more times. powerful.

A must read

Best book I’ve listen to in ages . Well narrated and full of knowledge I really enjoyed it and gave me quite a few light bulb moments

Excellent insight and well communicated.

This book has the power to really help a lot of people. I gained a lot from it.