Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

A Memoir of a Woman's Life

By: Anna Quindlen

Narrated by: Anna Quindlen

Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

In this irresistible memoir, the New York Times best-selling author and winner of the Pulitzer Prize Anna Quindlen writes about looking back and ahead - and celebrating it all - as she considers marriage, girlfriends, our mothers, faith, loss, all the stuff in our closets, and more.

As she did in her beloved New York Times columns, and in A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindlen says for us here what we may wish we could have said ourselves. Using her past, present, and future to explore what matters most to women at different ages, Quindlen talks about:

Marriage: “A safety net of small white lies can be the bedrock of a successful marriage. You wouldn’t believe how cheaply I can do a kitchen renovation.”

Girlfriends: “Ask any woman how she makes it through the day, and she may mention her calendar, her to-do lists, her babysitter. But if you push her on how she really makes it through her day, she will mention her girlfriends. Sometimes I will see a photo of an actress in an unflattering dress or a blouse too young for her or with a heavy-handed makeup job, and I mutter, ‘She must not have any girlfriends.’”

Stuff: “Here’s what it comes down to, really: there is now so much stuff in my head, so many years, so many memories, that it’s taken the place of primacy away from the things in the bedrooms, on the porch. My doctor says that, contrary to conventional wisdom, she doesn’t believe our memories flag because of a drop in estrogen but because of how crowded it is in the drawers of our minds. Between the stuff at work and the stuff at home, the appointments and the news and the gossip and the rest, the past and the present and the plans for the future, the filing cabinets in our heads are not only full, they’re overflowing.”

Our bodies: “I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and in the years to come. It’s like a car, and while I like a red convertible or even a Bentley as well as the next person, what I really need are four tires and an engine.”

Parenting: “Being a parent is not transactional. We do not get what we give. It is the ultimate pay-it-forward endeavor: We are good parents not so they will be loving enough to stay with us but so they will be strong enough to leave us.”

From childhood memories to manic motherhood to middle age, Quindlen uses the events of her own life to illuminate our own. Along with the downsides of age, she says, can come wisdom, a perspective on life that makes it satisfying and even joyful. Candid, funny, moving, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is filled with the sharp insights and revealing observations that have long confirmed Quindlen’s status as America’s laureate of real life.

©2012 Anna Quindlen (P)2012 Random House

Critic reviews

“A reporter by training, a storyteller at heart, [Quindlen’s] writing is personal, humorous, and thought-provoking.” ( Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

“Quindlen is an astonishingly graceful writer.” ( San Francisco Examiner)

“Thank goodness for Anna Quindlen. [She] is smart. And compassionate. And witty. And wise.” ( Detroit Free-Press)

Anna nails our generation.

If you could sum up Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake in three words, what would they be?

Right on target.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake?

The explanation of how puzzled were the lives of baby boomer women. They entered the world having experienced their 1940's/50's stay-at-home mothers who knew exactly what was expected of them, and then reinvented their lives via women's liberation, etc.

What about Anna Quindlen’s performance did you like?

She is very down to earth. No frills, yet genuine.

Yeah, what she said.

I loved this book. I'm not sure if it's for everyone but it is certainly for every one of the "women of a certain age" and maybe for all whoever will be or ever we're.

Anna Quidlend - my kind of story-teller

Would you consider the audio edition of Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version, so I can't quite say.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Anna Quindlen, herself

Which character – as performed by Anna Quindlen – was your favorite?

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Any additional comments?

Aging gracefully?

I thought this book would be alot funnier. She's writing about old age and I think she's only 50.

Insightful, Pithy, Funny - so good

I thoroughly enjoyed Anna Quindlen's narration of her memoir, as always, beautifully written -- told as reflections on experiences in her life -- the women's movement,the illness and early death of her mother, childrearing, making room for adult children in the working world, being a writer, holidays/family traditions, menopause, exercise, and much more. Liberally sprinkled with humor and insight -- felt as though she was sharing with me personally. I plan to buy a hard copy of the book as there are quips and portions I'd like to reread and share with others.

For "Women Of A Certain Age" -- But Really For All

First off, I have to say I was unprepared for Anna Quindlen’s voice. I think that, somehow, I had decided she sounded like Hope Davis (since Ms. Davis read Quindlen’s excellent novel Every Last One.) This made no sense of my part, but I was quite taken aback when she started narrating and I realized she had a kind of gravelly Noo Yawk (or Philly?) kind of voice. I just wasn’t expecting it, and it took me almost a full chapter to get over it and listen without thinking “Wow … this is what Anna Quindlen sounds like?” Of course, I might be the only one with this reaction but I had to mention it.

Anyway, with that out of the way, let me tell you about this book, which is basically musings on aging and reaching your mid-50s and beyond. It is basically a “here’s what I’ve learned over the years” book, but Quindlen is so gifted at talking like regular folks or your best girlfriends that the book never feels preachy or saccharine. Instead, she strikes just the right notes of “Jeez, we were dumb when we were young, weren’t we?” and “I’ve still not figured it out but I’m not stressing about it anymore.” Relating her own life experiences and roles (sibling in a Catholic home, student at an all-women’s college, “token” girl reporter for the New York Times, serious journalist, married woman for 35+ years, mother of three, novelist), Quindlen somehow manages to take her unique experiences and make them feel almost universal. Even though I’m not in my 50s yet, I could understand where Quindlen was coming from and loved hearing her views on the aging process. If you’re the target audience for this one, then I think it is a no brainer—find it and read it. If you’re not quite there yet, I still think you’ll find much of value in the book but, like wine, it will get better with age.

A book that I wanted to buy all my "sisters".

What made the experience of listening to Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake the most enjoyable?

Anna became a good friend as I listened to her stories and world-wise wisdom. Almost every word in this book spoke to me. I couldn't help thinking I want to share this book with my friends. Thanks Anna.

I Loved it!

Where does Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

One of the ones I will listen to again.

What other book might you compare Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake to and why?

She tells about her mundane life, she looks at it differently and so inspires me to look at mine in a different way.... to study my life so mine is not such a freeway but a casual road that is slow enough for me to enjoy...

Which character – as performed by Anna Quindlen – was your favorite?

Herself, she is getting older and looking back at life, seeing the changes that have happened so quickly yet took so long. I understand her way of thinking as a 40 something watching the world go by. Seeing the kids go off to college..... seeing the first grey hairs,,, watching the older generation die.... all these things may not happen to you but they are happening to someone you know and I really relate.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

This is not the type of book one would make a movie about it is commentary.

Wow

So beautifully written!
So thoughtfully written and reflected.
All the things we think, but cannot put words to the feelings, she does.

Like visiting with a friend over coffee!

Where does Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I really like memoirs, and I loved this one. I didn't even know who Anna Quindlen was before listening to this, but her story and more importantly, her insights were so enjoyable that it made a long car trip go quicker.

Who was your favorite character and why?

She is so real, and though in many ways a very different person than I am, there was plenty there to connect with. She was so likable.

What about Anna Quindlen’s performance did you like?

I loved the accent, the pace and the delivery.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

I would say so. I don't do that, but I suppose I could have.

Any additional comments?

I'm in my early 40's, and my mother is in her mid 60's. This book is more about the women of her generation, but I felt like it kind of helps me understand her a little more, even though the author is very different than her in many ways. This book is about women...the way we think, the relationships we have with one another and the men and children in our lives. It's about growing older and the different stages we pass through in our lives. I still want to recommend this one to my mother.