Because We Are Bad

OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

By: Lily Bailey

Narrated by: Lily Bailey

Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins

Publisher's summary

Written with the indelible power of Girl, Interrupted, Brain on Fire, and Reasons to Stay Alive, a lyrical, poignant memoir by a young woman about her childhood battle with debilitating obsessive compulsive disorder, and her hard-won journey to recovery.

By the age of 13, Lily Bailey was convinced she was bad. She had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and ogled the bodies of other children. Only by performing an exhausting series of secret routines could she make up for what she'd done. But no matter how intricate or repetitive, no act of penance was ever enough.

Beautifully written and astonishingly intimate, Because We Are Bad recounts a childhood consumed by obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child, Bailey created a second personality inside herself - "I" became "we" - to help manifest compulsions that drove every minute of every day of her young life. Now she writes about the forces beneath her skin, and how they ordered, organized, and urged her forward. Lily charts her journey, from checking on her younger sister dozens of times a night, to "normalizing" herself at school among new friends as she grew older, and finally to her young adult years, learning - indeed, breaking through - to make a way for herself in a big, wide world that refuses to stay in check.

Charming and raw, harrowing and redemptive, Because We Are Bad is an illuminating and uplifting look into the mind and soul of an extraordinary young woman, and a startling portrait of OCD that allows us to see and understand this condition as never before.

©2018 Lily Bailey (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers

Helped me so much with my OCD

I was at the end of my wits before listening to this book. Felt so alone and was ready to just end it all. The experiences shared in this book echoed in me but also helped me gain some incredible self help tips, and for the first time in years, optimism within my own self (alongside therapy). I hated myself to no end before reading this, and felt undeserving of anything, but after this book I regained some hope in myself and the world around me. Thank you so much!!

Thank you x Infinity

I didn't know how much I needed to hear your story. It meant everything to me. I feel let of the hook in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your journey with the world.

Essential Read for OCD Relief & Understanding

Lily Bailey's experience is unique enough in the varied presentations of OCD to stand on its own. I think it's a seminal read for sufferers of covert obsessions and compulsions, or what is commonly referred to as "Pure OCD." Labelling aside, many people with OCD find that their symptoms are less obvious to those around them than the examples we often see in movies and on TV. Usually there is some kind of physical manifestation at some point or another, but often the disease can feel more mental, or ruminative. As it often traps its sufferers within their own minds, it can also tend to warp one's sense of identity into a twisted shape, and I believe Lily's story will help heal anyone who feels this kind of "identity OCD" presentation manifesting.

I also think friends and family of people with OCD could stand to gain a lot of perspective from a book such as this. It may be easier for some with the illness to introduce people to their struggles with this book as well.

I really love Lily's writing style. There is something desperate and dreamy in these words. Poetry sprinkles throughout the prose in a delicate, deliberate way, and may create pause in the listener as they take certain phrases in with their eyes closed, nodding and smiling. There are also times when the writing, as well as Bailey's humbling performance, brought me to tears. My experience of OCD is not unlike Ms. Bailey's in some ways. While Lily is not a professional voice actor, or narrator, her insights and experience come through in her voice more strongly felt than they otherwise could. There is also an interesting cultural element to this memoir, and a question to boot: What are the effects of posh British climate on a youth with OCD, and what if that youth were born common, only later to clamber to a higher class in life? What kind of complexes might that create? One could write a whole thesis on something like this.

In closing, Because We Are Bad is one of my favorite books, and probably my favorite book about OCD of all time. Definitely give it a listen.

amazing

I loved listening to her story it was amazing,relatable and overall the best book

Made me feel so understood, and even nostalgic.

Made me feel nostalgic, not quite in the sense of longing for my ocd in its earlier stages, but in terms of finding endearment and a new kindness toward my childhood self. Very grateful to have found this book, especially since I’m still dealing with so many of the same issues. I hope one day I can make sense / use of my “obsessive thoughts” in the helpful way the author has.

I feel seen

I’ve never felt so seen by a book! Thankful to have listened to this and realized so many of the ways I think of things and the way my anxiety manifests is not unique to me and I feel less like I’m just weird. Thank you!!

A Remarkable Story

This autobiography is a wonderful exposition on a far too mysterious disorder. The insights Lily, the author, provides into her early adolescent and adult life are remarkable. Without giving too much away, the story highlights one person’s experience with this disorder and her relationship with a therapist who truly understands, cares and affects her life in incredibly meaningful way. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has or knows Someone who has or who knows someone with this or any number of disorders, such as bipolar, autism, or even psychosis. The inside provides both comfort and hope that with caring, medication, and love a resolution can be found.

Great book for anyone who has been affected by OCD

I read books about OCD because I have OCD. This is about the sixth book I’ve read and it’s one of the best. It really gives a vivid account of how the brain processes work and how it impacts the lives of people who live with OCD day after day. My issues are not the same as hers, but there are some similarities, and it gives me a sense of perspective, helps me to know I am not alone and that there are paths to improved quality of life. Therefore I very much appreciate her honest and eloquent writing on the subject. I’d recommend this for anyone who has to deal with OCD, either in themselves or a loved one. The only drawback to the recording is that, while I think it’s a plus to have the author reading her own work with such an intimate account, at times she speaks in a fast monotone. It might have been good in those places to slow down to let us absorb the material. Overall an excellent book.

Thank You So Much!

Thank you for finally giving my daughter a way to verbalize what has gone on in her head for her entire life. She is now 21 and recommended that I read this book. While it was heartbreaking, it explains so many things about her that I never fully understood. The book was also enlightening, heartwarming, funny, and engaging. Thank you so much for sharing!

Amazing ! Candid, honest

This account of a girl’s experience with OCD is salve to anyone who is a patient or has OCD tendencies . It is comforting to hear first hand that bad thoughts happen and doesn’t mean you want to act on them . Means more coming from a person that has lived through it than from a professional just telling you it’s “the disease”
Really worthwhile book for families of patients also