Regular price: $23.93

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
OR
In Cart

Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

Critic Reviews

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." ( New York Times)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1,406
  • 4 Stars
    796
  • 3 Stars
    449
  • 2 Stars
    151
  • 1 Stars
    131

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1,231
  • 4 Stars
    398
  • 3 Stars
    190
  • 2 Stars
    61
  • 1 Stars
    54

Story

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    957
  • 4 Stars
    503
  • 3 Stars
    291
  • 2 Stars
    110
  • 1 Stars
    83
Sort by:
  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Toni
  • San Francisco, CA, USA
  • 07-21-09

Cruel and mean humor is hard to listen to.

I guess differ from Chelsea from tone/style of humor. The drollness quips hurt my ears.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Cari
  • Toledo, OH, USA
  • 02-15-09

i hope there's a chaser...

Great job Chelsea, I very much enjoyed your book, but much more to hear you read it. It just made the experience even more enjoyable - what a funny gal ! The whole transaction of downloading books from Audible was way too easy and the customer assistance I needed was fast and direct - thank you all -
This was a good read, rather - listen, because I really felt during her youth, I could have been there with her - I was even able to place myself in her shoes a couple times...scarey. And who knew one could be " face raped " . I had fun going on your visit to France and decided that dining with " my tickets" on table won't happen nor will I get a massage anywhere that doesn't give " happy endings" . I had fun and now I am off to order my next book -

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Erika
  • Colton, NY, USA
  • 01-08-09

a clever title, but a real disappointment

i thought this might be on par with david sedaris or hollis gillespie. you know, funny and insightful stories told by people you wish you could befriend.
i did chuckle a couple of times, but overall i find her humor shallow, grating, and lacking in redeeming qualities.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Not very funny

I was expecting at least a few chuckles but the book was rather slow-moving and vapid. Wish I hadn't spent my credit on it.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    out of 5 stars

Funny Lady Great book

Buy it!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Tim
  • Sunnyvale, CA, USA
  • 08-09-08

A must!

If you love Chelsea Handler and her show Chelsea Lately, this audiobook will not disappoint. I loved that not only was she writer, but also the narrator. Her different voices that she uses for different characters in her book are hysterical! She is sarcastic and funny and a great writer. Once I started listening, I couldn't stop!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • MAH
  • San Diego, CA
  • 07-23-08

I get Chelsea...

I think you have to have a certain type of sense of humor to enjoy this book. It's probably not for everyone. For me, it was perfect. I often found myself cracking up by myself in my cubicle, pulling over on the freeway because I was laughing so hard I was crying, and pausing my ipod in the airport so I didn't look like a crazy person when I started to laugh aloud. I didn’t really know who Chelsea Handler was until I downloaded this book, but now I'm DVR'ing her show every night. Can a book be too funny?...this one almost is.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Edward
  • Somerville, MA, USA
  • 07-22-08

If you enjoy Chelsea Lately...

...then listen to this book! If you do not enjoy Chelsea Handler's style of humor, then go find something else to listen too. Duh. I laughed out loud multiple times, and many of my peers at the gym think I am crazy, I'm sure. Regardless, I did enjoy this book. The key to Chelsea's humor is: (almost) nothing is off limits.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Hysterical

It was like a 6-hour Chelsea Lately marathon...I liked that Chelsea was not only the author, but also the narrator. The book really made me laugh.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Kathy
  • Teaneck, NJ, USA
  • 04-29-08

What a hoot!

I loved this book! I had to quit reading it on the bus because I found myself laughing out loud! Chelsea reminds me of a young Kathy Griffin.