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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
- Narrated by: Johnny Kansas, Stephanie Stehling, Heather McDonald, Roy Handler, Brad Wollack, Amber Mazzola, Josh Wolf, Soshanna Handler, Eva Magdalenski, Amy Meyer
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
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Publisher's Summary
—Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
What listeners say about Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- MumsyK
- 05-26-11
Money Grab… Chelsea Owes Me a Credit!
First off let me say I am (or rather was) a huge Chelsea fan! When she is on her A game she is possibly the funniest woman alive. Her previous 3 books have had me laughing out loud and sharing them with all my girlfriends.
This book however is simply a sad attempt at a money grab. It appears as though Chelsea had nothing to do with this book, yet has shamelessly plastered her name and image all over it. Granted the stories are about her (for the most part) but are written by others poorly attempting to emulate her style. Its truly terrible and they should all be ashamed. *Spoiler Alert* One chapter is ‘written by’ Chunk… Yes Chunk. Her dog. Need I say more?
I have never been more annoyed over the complete waste of a credit! I warn you, if you are hoping for classic Chelsea, skip this and just re-enjoy one of her old books.
11 people found this helpful
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- AlderStemp
- 05-24-11
Not as good as "Vodka, it's Chelse..."
I got this after literally rolling on the floor listening to "Vodka, it's Chelsea." While this was kinda of funny, it just wasn't as good. Could be cause it is based entirely on pranks she pulls rather than her self-deprecating humor that was so funny.
10 people found this helpful
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- Angela
- 01-08-13
I loved it... but I "get" the humor.
Would you listen to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me again? Why?
I listened to this without first reading other reviews, because Chelsea Handler makes me laugh on a nightly basis. Now reading them, I don't understand other reviewers saying, "I love her, but reading this makes me realize that she's cruel/immature/mean..." Have you never seen her?
I think most people don't have friendships that are so obnoxiously immature on the outside. I think that's why they don't "get it." My core group of friends/family say and do crazy things to each other constantly in order to get a laugh. If you sat in a room with my best friend and I, you'd think we hated each other by the way we talk sometimes. However, the people in my world would do ANYTHING for me, and I for them. There isn't one person in this book that doesn't say that very thing about her.
If you don't get why people do obnoxious things to their friends, this book isn't for you... but then again, I don't know why you'd read it in the first place. If you can watch Chelsea Handler's show and not get that she's obnoxious and bitchy, you're missing something. This book answers the question, "I wonder how bitchy she really can be," answer being, "A LOT." It's college frat boy humor... she's a jackass boy with breasts.
I thought this book was funnier than VODKA... I actually didn't like that one at all. Having said that, I didn't think every narrator was great, but I did like hearing each voice separately. I do think that Chelsea Handler should have narrated her own part. Hearing other voices, especially those you "know" (Heather McDonald, Josh Wolf, Roy Handler) makes it weird when someone is else is reading her part. There are also musical transitions separating each chapter that I thought were weird and out of place.
8 people found this helpful
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- Brandin
- 04-04-14
Love all of Chelsea's books. But this one sucks.
It's weird bc I'm such a fan of Chelsea, but her friends are a tad annoying in this book. For example, it seems like they've all listened to her self-read audiobooks & sort of emulated her performance style. badly.
also....and maybe it's just me....but are all of these people super super stupid? if chelsea is such a known prankster, wouldn't most of these pranks have been visible from space? Once guy is duped into leaving his honeymoon early b/c he was told that TIME Magazine was putting the writing staff of Chelsea Lately on the COVER. Reeeeeally? Seriously? I mean, I know that Time Magazine does actually dumb down the American version of its publication by making it more pop culture skewed ((that's actually true...the rest of the world gets another version of the magazine....wtf)) but, seriously.....i don't think i need to continue. You get it. It's OBVIOUSLY a prank. Jeez.
so many other examples....and none really that funny, except probably to the people involved.
Oof. Wait for Uganda to Be Kidding Me to come out on audible.
1 person found this helpful
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- Arielle
- 11-24-12
Meh. Maybe...
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
The energy from some of the narrators was a little dead. It felt as if they had been reading for hours, and they were at the very end and restless.
It would have been so much better if Chelsea Handler could have read her parts. Everybody else read their own parts. Chelsea Handler has such a nice voice...
Has Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me turned you off from other books in this genre?
No. I think I'll just have to pay more attention to the reviews before i purchase.
What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?
I like that the stories were told by the people who wrote it, and by the people the events happened to. It was nice that they were able to mimic the sounds of surprise or the accents spoken. The pauses were accurate and done in a way that I would not have been able to imagine reading on my own.
See above for dislikes.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
The book was entertaining. It made me giggle on the inside often. It was just evident that none of these people are used to writing in book format. It was so poorly written, that even the decent performances couldn't save it. It was entertaining and worth a listen if it is free.
1 person found this helpful
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- Andrea
- 07-16-12
The characters become real
What made the experience of listening to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me the most enjoyable?
The characters in all of Handler's previous books finally become real and take the reins in this book.
What did you like best about this story?
Chelsea graciously replies to each story with her own rebuttal in the only way she knows how: delightfully insulting.
Which scene was your favorite?
Chelsea is able to bring those around her into her schemes to make them more realistic. She convinces can take somebody's weakness and exploit it to the brink of destruction. She had an OCD colleague convinced that her employee was becoming her adoptive son, living with her, going on vacations with her, not paying rent... but it was never true. This wouldn't bother most people, but Chelsea knew an OCD wouldn't be able to take it. Brilliant.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Everything. I'd love to be Chelsea's friend.
1 person found this helpful
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- Jeanine
- 04-08-12
Yuck and more yuck!
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
Nothing at all. These are horrible stories about practical jokes that are way to over the top for my taste. I do think she if funny but the things she does to the people in her life are horrible and cruel and I guess that is where I draw the line of funny.
Has Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me turned you off from other books in this genre?
No, not at all but will just be more careful in the future about reading others reviews.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
No, I could not even finish it. It made me want my money back for purchasing it.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Maureen McDaniel
- 08-01-11
Unfunny
I loved 'Vodka' and I have to compare the laugh-out-loud humor of that book to this one, which offers just a few smiles. And these aren't worth wading through all the cruel pranks that are reported with no real explanation of why these people are Chelsea's 'friends' except that they're on the payroll. I tried hard to like this, but my mood and morale were deteriorating from all the pointless profanity, slimy images, and unchallenging, childish humor.
1 person found this helpful
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- Brittan
- 02-16-23
Eh
Didn’t age well. Lots of stuff that would not fly these days. It’s a bit cringe
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- BarbieDoll76
- 11-11-21
Hilarious but mean spirited
Chelsea Handler is hilarious. The stories about her are funny. But the word “retard” was used by every single person telling a chapter with one exception (props to Heather MacDonald for being funny without that). Just all came off a bit mean spirited. I laughed but ended the book grateful I don’t have a “friend” like her. She seems to really get her kicks by doing mean things to her friends that take jokes too far. Ruining honeymoons? It’s too much. In my humble opinion. But, yeah, I laughed.
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Story
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
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Eww
- By M. D. on 01-15-10
By: Chelsea Handler
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The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
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mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the number-one best-selling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood.
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Lmao
- By Ean Chong on 06-30-15
By: Chelsea Handler
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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
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Just Plain FUNNYYYY!!!!!!!!!
- By Theodore on 04-27-12
By: Chelsea Handler
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Uganda Be Kidding Me
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.
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Hilarious!
- By Michelle on 02-24-15
By: Chelsea Handler
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Life Will Be the Death of Me
- ...And You Too!
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler’s year of self-discovery - featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles.
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Raw Chelsea Hander
- By LSnid on 04-14-19
By: Chelsea Handler
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My Horizontal Life
- A Collection of One-Night Stands
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
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Eww
- By M. D. on 01-15-10
By: Chelsea Handler
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The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
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mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
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I'm Fine...and Other Lies
- By: Whitney Cummings
- Narrated by: Whitney Cummings
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A hilarious and emotional personal account of the life, times, mistakes, and crippling codependence of comedian, producer, director, actress, and writer Whitney Cummings. Full of intellect, pathos, and profundity, I'm Fine...and Other Lies is, in Whitney's words, her first book, which means her last date. With her signature incendiary edge and self-deprecation, Whitney comes clean about what has shaped her into the trailblazing comic that she is today.
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I've been waiting for this woman to write a book!
- By Giggle Pants on 10-09-17
By: Whitney Cummings
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
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Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
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Dear Girls
- Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life
- By: Ali Wong
- Narrated by: Ali Wong, Justin Hakuta
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her hit Netflix comedy special, Baby Cobra, an eight-month pregnant Ali Wong resonated so strongly that she even became a popular Halloween costume. Wong told the world her remarkably unfiltered thoughts on marriage, sex, Asian culture, working women, and why you never see new mom comics on stage but you sure see plenty of new dads. The sharp insights and humor are even more personal in this completely original collection. She shares the wisdom she’s learned from a life in comedy and reveals stories from her life off stage.
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This book is the shit!
- By Erica P. on 10-17-19
By: Ali Wong
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My Anecdotal Life
- A Memoir
- By: Carl Reiner
- Narrated by: Carl Reiner
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"This book offers the absolutely incomparable experience of knowing what it would be like to have Carl Reiner as a friend and without the exorbitant costs of trying to book him on a regular basis" (Jerry Seinfeld). "You can't define genius, but it stands up and shouts from the pages of Carl Reiner's My Anecdotal Life" (Mary Tyler Moore). "Mr. Reiner's stories allow us to have his whole life flash before our eyes. Happily, he is a delightful storyteller and a very gifted flasher" (Larry Gelbart).
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A Man With Many Stories...
- By Terry on 11-14-16
By: Carl Reiner
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Man Up!
- Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence
- By: Ross Mathews, Chelsea Handler - afterword, Gwyneth Paltrow - foreword
- Narrated by: Ross Mathews
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did.
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Seriously funny!
- By Ludimila on 06-29-13
By: Ross Mathews, and others