Open

An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy

By: Rachel Krantz

Narrated by: Rachel Krantz

Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins

Publisher's summary

An award-winning journalist chronicles her first open relationship with “breathtaking honesty” (Los Angeles Times) in this “sexy, messy, necessary look at polyamory” (The Advocate).

FINALIST FOR THE LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: PopSugar, Them

When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include monogamy. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Krantz decided to see whether their love could coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for each other once the honeymoon phase ended?

Krantz documents her dive into polyamory, from Brooklyn sex parties to swinging and beyond, in her extraordinary debut memoir. As she attempts to write a new plot for her love story with Adam, she runs up against miscommunications, gaslighting, and ancient power dynamics, and seeks solid ground in a relationship where the rules are ever-shifting. An award-winning journalist, she interviewed scientists, psychologists, and people living and loving outside the mainstream as she searched to understand what polyamory would do to her heart, her mind, and her life.

With an unflinching eye and page-turning storytelling, Open is groundbreaking in both its documentarian approach to polyamory and its explicit subject matter. From debilitating anxiety spirals to heart-opening connections with the men and women she dates, Rachel puts her whole self on the line as she attempts to redefine what a relationship is—or could be.

©2022 Rachel Krantz (P)2022 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"“Open is . . . neither a manifesto of polyamorous ideals nor an argument against it. Instead, it’s Krantz’s sincere and curious reckoning with the cultural messaging we all receive about gendered expectations and power dynamics in romantic and sexual relationships in general . . .”—NPR

“Open has all the makings of a juicy beach read—romance, sex, deception, and twists—except that it’s an ‘obsessively documented’ account, per Krantz, of her real-life open relationship.”—Vogue

“[Krantz’s] breathtaking honesty in probing the serious downsides of polyamory while eschewing outmoded patriarchal codes of morality should allow for an overdue dialogue about what makes any relationship work.”—Los Angeles Times

An honest, well written contemporaneous journal of one person’s experience testing open relationships.

I think what I found most interesting about this book is that it vulnerably explores the pains and the pleasures of an open relationship.   That it’s from a woman’s perspective and based on real time journal entries with after-the-fact research offered in support of many of the ideas and experiences ultimately makes for a well written, engaging read or listen.
 
If you are at all interested in the topic of open relationships, this book should be on your short list.

Realistic and informative

I love being able to hear about an authentic polyam experience. So often we feel the need to be represented, that we do so at the cost of being real. Real people in relationships aren’t always the best. Thank you for sharing your true experience. This is art.

Kudos!

Krantz is a wicked smart person. Wow, what a powerful book. I finished it a couple of days ago. I am still digesting it. I believe people should be able to love and have sex how they authentically love and have sex, without being shamed, as long as it's done with consent. Krantz had a long-term relationship that involved abusive behavior. This is not a mark against consensual non-monogamy (CNM). Plenty of monogamous relationships also involve abusive behavior.
I like that Krantz included enough footnotes to substantiate that many of her points were not just opinions she conjured up. I listened to the Audible version. I may need to buy a hard copy to follow up on her references. Yes, it's that good.
I liked how Krantz breaks the fourth wall and writes directly to her future readers at times. It's like she's writing a letter to a friend. This really personalizes and makes more intimate the connection between Krantz and her readers.
Krantz joins Gracie X and Sophie Lucido Johnson and other amazing talented women who have written books about CNM relationships. We need more books on this subject. These books are stories that expand the imagination of the possible and encourage people to live more authentic lives without shame. We definitely need that.
Kudos Rachel Krantz, kudos!

Captivating!

It was like a scary roller-coaster ride. A fantastic insight into an alternative lifestyle.

Whew

Well, that was intense. But worth it. It reminded me so much of previous toxic relationships I've been in that my own trauma was triggered multiple times. (I'm made thankful that I only stayed for a few months, not years...) But I'm glad I pushed through to the finish and the healing process. Very relatable, well written, and inspiring!

what a rollercoaster ride!

Authentic and well written. An honest and detailed look at the author's journey into non-monogamy: human, imperfect, critical yet forgiving, full of details and insights. Thanks, Rachel, for opening up and for sharing. A book that reflects the fact that relationships, whatever title one gives them, are as imperfect as people, as complex as people, and as diverse as people.

Very detailed

I decided to listen to Open after hearing the author on a popular non monogamous podcast. I’m thankful I gave it a listen. Lots of great storytelling moments with useful information on terminology.

wow. I'm so thankful this book is out it in the world.

this is such an important story for people interested in non monogamy and also in any romantic relationship. its extremely informative and well written. I highly recommend.

Thought Provoking

Even though Rachel is a young woman, she gives thought provoking ideas and concepts on alternative lifestyles as she tells her life story. She also gives the reader valuable information on concepts of non-mongamy, sexuality, human biology, polyamory, jelleousy, depression, gas lighting and other topics associated with her experience with non-mondamy and kink. She never truly says that she was in a Dom/sub or hot wife relationship, but believe the components were there. She just chooses not to put a big label on it through out the book even though she does mention concepts of kink. Rachel also did a wonderful job with explaining terms on alternative lifestyles and how different elements can impact these different types of relationships. Even though, she expressed in the book that many people hated Adam, I never felt that way. I always felt that he cared and loved her in a non traditional way, but over time, his style became toxic to Rachel since she struggled to be comfortable with his other relationships and how he treated their relationship. This resulted in jelleousy and pain for rachel which was understandable because of his inability to truly make her feel valued at times. This obviously affected their relationship and over time, their situations became toxic for Rachel. Looking at Rachel's relationship with Adam, helped me evaluate my life a bit. This book was truly informative and thought provoking. 5 stars.

A peek into what you’ve always wondered about

I’ve tried a handful of titles on this subject and hers is the best. It’s a memoir first and a study in the lifestyle second. As a journalist by trade, the writing was excellent. Eye opening and made me think.