Fish Funny

The Avery Diary: My Middle School Crush! A Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12! OMG, my life is a TOTAL rollercoaster right now. First, I thought I liked Jason—the most popular guy in school—so I spent a week trying (and failing) to be cool. Turns out, he likes Taylor, which is great because I might actually like Jake... you know, my old best friend? But how do I tell him without looking like a total dork? Between my little brother Carl’s nonstop pranks, my cat trying to destroy me, and my best friends teasing me, my middle school life is basically a rom-com gone WRONG. Read my diary... but ...

Romaine Wilder, big-city medical examiner with a small-town past, has been downsized and evicted. With few other options, she’s forced to return to her hometown of Roble in East Texas, leaving behind the man she’s dating and the life she’s worked hard to build. Suzanne Babet Derbinay, Romaine’s Auntie Zanne and proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home, has long since traded her French Creole upbringing for Big Texas attitude. She’s a member in a number of ladies’ auxiliaries and clubs, including being in charge of the Tri-County Annual Crawfish Boil and Music Festival. Hanging on to ...

Sinister secrets hidden by the tranquil waters of an Ozarks lake. Can married amateur sleuths bait and capture a killer before the truth slips away? Kirkus Reviews—“A fine whodunit featuring a delightful cast whom readers will love—or love to hate.” After newlyweds Elizabeth and Jonas Trout arrive to settle her grandmother's estate, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a treacherous mystery when Elizabeth is implicated in the murder of the property manager. With mounting evidence and the Southern small-town sheriff convinced of her guilt, Elizabeth and Jonas must fish for clues...

It's a rainy day in Seattle, and on the third floor of First Guarantee Financial, people have stopped believing they can make a difference. To new manager Mary Jane Ramirez, the challenge of bringing life back to her unenthusiastic and unmotivated team seems impossible, until she discovers an incredibly successful workplace down the street where the employees are so alive and passionate that people stop just to watch them work!

John Ford, Sr., returns to the outdoors of Maine with This Cider Still Tastes Funny!: Further Adventures of a Game Warden in Maine, his follow-up to the highly popular and critically acclaimed Suddenly, the Cider Didn't Taste So Good. Ford is a retired Maine game warden, sheriff, and gifted storyteller who carved out a reputation as a man of the law, but one who wasn't a by-the-book enforcer. He often came up with a good quip as he slipped the handcuffs on a violator, and he wasn't above accepting a lesson learned as sufficient penalty for breaking the law.

Book 1: THE PARTY INVITATION! Middle school was supposed to be simple: survive classes, avoid humiliation, and maybe not trip over your own feet. But for eleven-year-old Avery, it’s more like a reality show called Surviving Middle School: Awkward Edition. With her besties Claire and Ellie dishing out constant warnings about her life choices, Avery is just trying to dodge gym class disasters, keep her locker shut, and avoid the cafeteria pizza (which might be alive). Then, the unthinkable happens—she gets invited to the birthday party. Not just any party, but Mackenzie Harper’s, the ...

Funny You Should Ask... features the QI Elves' answers to 200 questions on topics ranging from goosebumps to gherkins and everything in-between. Generously sprinkled with mind-boggling extra facts from the Elves, this is essential listening for the incurably curious.

The Avery Diary: The Party Invitation! Hilarious Books for Kids 9-12 Middle school was supposed to be simple: survive classes, avoid humiliation, and maybe not trip over your own feet. But for eleven-year-old Avery, it’s more like a reality show called Surviving Middle School: Awkward Edition. With her besties Claire and Ellie dishing out constant warnings about her life choices, Avery is just trying to dodge gym class disasters, keep her locker shut, and avoid the cafeteria pizza (which might be alive). Then, the unthinkable happens—she gets invited to the birthday party. Not just any ...

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

There is a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. It’s not an easy thing to do and Arthur Dent thinks he’s the only human who’s been able to master this nifty little trick - until he meets Fenchurch, the girl of his dreams. Fenchurch knows how the world could be made a good and happy place. Unfortunately she’s forgotten. Convinced that the secret lies within God’s Final Message to His Creation they go in search of it. And in a dramatic break with tradition - actually find it....

The Avery Diary: CHRISTMAS CHAOS BEGINS! A Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12! Christmas was supposed to be peaceful, but no one told my family that. Between glitter snow, Carl’s ninja elf costume, and a burnt turkey that could’ve been used as a doorstop, I’m just trying to survive. The Christmas musical? A total mess. The snowball fight? Complete chaos. And let’s not even talk about the marshmallow-covered tree. But somehow, even with all the craziness, my family made it fun. Maybe next year will be easier... but with a surprise trip to Hawaii on the way, I have a feeling the madness is ...

The Avery Diary: The Lice Outbreak! Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12 When a lice outbreak takes over Avery’s school, things go from bad to downright hilarious. With chaos in the cafeteria, dramatic “lice patrols,” and a queen bee spreading rumors (and maybe bugs), Avery finds herself in the middle of it all. Will she blow the whistle on the mean girl’s not-so-secret scratching? Or can she save the day with her brilliant plan for Anti-Itch Week? From DIY lice detectives (featuring colanders and mayonnaise) to school dances where “scratching moves” steal the show, Avery’s journey is...

Nationally recognized and award-winning humor writer Jim Mize shares his insights from forty years of writing humor. In addition to discussing techniques, Mize credits his original sources so readers can view the materials that first inspired him. Readers will also be entertained with examples from his writing and see firsthand how Mize put these skills to work in his stories. Topics covered include joke writing, humor formats, misdirection, tension, timing, workshops, finding markets, and more. Of course, along the way, quite a few humorous things happened and these stories are shared as ...

After nearly losing everything in the most recent battle with Cullen, Eva isn’t sure how to pick up the pieces. First, there’s Mayer: Yes, he was initially working for Cullen, but when push came to shove, he protected Eva. Indeed, it’s only due to Mayer that Eva is even still free. Yet he also backstabbed her, so she isn’t sure how she should feel towards him or whether she can or should ever trust him again. Then there’s Mara—once Eva’s best friend, now things are beyond rocky between the two mermaids. All Eva wants is to resolve this feud between them, but unless Eva agrees ...

When Sawyer learns what I am—a mermaid—he isn’t sure what to make of the fact. Worse, it seems distance is what he needs most. Even though things might be less than ideal between Sawyer and me, at least I still have a friend in Wendy. But, soon, even that relationship will see its own crisis when posters appear throughout town proclaiming I’m a criminal on the run. Although the rumors are a hoax, I feel the whole town is turning against me, Wendy included—and I can only wonder who’s to blame for the lies. Luckily for me, there’s a new man in my life named Marshall. Having just...

Millions of people have fallen in love with Marcel. Now the tiny shell with shoes and a big heart is transitioning from online sensation to classic audiobook character, and listeners can learn more about this adorable creature and his wonderfully peculiar world.

This is a collection of twenty-nine short stories and is completely true and hardly exaggerates events as written, as fantastic as that may sound. As a kid living so far out in the country that the sun didn't rise until ten AM, I remember reading Mark Twain’s Life on the River and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and thinking of those stories as a documentary account of my life. I didn’t have a slave or float down the Mississippi on a raft, but I grew up with eight surviving siblings and got into more mischief than anyone would believe. Momma whipped my back and legs with a peach tree...

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something...askew? Sophie has just received her first advance check for her delectable dog biscuits. With the extra cash, she hires another employee, freeing up some time to try her hand at baking cakes, just like her grandmother. Her skills are put to the test when an out-of-town bride asks her to make a stunning cake and other delicious pastries for her destination wedding since her fiance' was just diagnosed as celiac. There’s a catch, though. The wedding is in a week and Sophie has to be on-site for several days. Right before she ...

***RECIPE INCLUDED*** What do you get when you combine a new bakery, an inquisitive poodle, and an unexpected love triangle? The perfect recipe for murder. Sophie, a 32-year-old librarian, has spent her entire adult life caring for her ill grandmother. When she suddenly passes away, Sophie is left with the freedom to live her own life and an inheritance to pursue her dream. When she comes across a boutique for sale in her quant hometown, she realizes that now is the best time to open the gluten-free bakery she's always imagined. Along with her poodle, Marshmallow, and her best friend, ...

Through a series of 50 personal essays, each of which worthy of its own podcast, Fish On, Fish Off explores what happens when the self-taught, DIY angler sets out to fish the world–and winds up stumbling into every possible pitfall and danger along the way.