Fish Funny

Romaine Wilder, big-city medical examiner with a small-town past, has been downsized and evicted. With few other options, she’s forced to return to her hometown of Roble in East Texas, leaving behind the man she’s dating and the life she’s worked hard to build. Suzanne Babet Derbinay, Romaine’s Auntie Zanne and proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home, has long since traded her French Creole upbringing for Big Texas attitude. She’s a member in a number of ladies’ auxiliaries and clubs, including being in charge of the Tri-County Annual Crawfish Boil and Music Festival. Hanging on to ...

Sinister secrets hidden by the tranquil waters of an Ozarks lake. Can married amateur sleuths bait and capture a killer before the truth slips away? Kirkus Reviews—“A fine whodunit featuring a delightful cast whom readers will love—or love to hate.” After newlyweds Elizabeth and Jonas Trout arrive to settle her grandmother's estate, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a treacherous mystery when Elizabeth is implicated in the murder of the property manager. With mounting evidence and the Southern small-town sheriff convinced of her guilt, Elizabeth and Jonas must fish for clues...

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

It's a rainy day in Seattle, and on the third floor of First Guarantee Financial, people have stopped believing they can make a difference. To new manager Mary Jane Ramirez, the challenge of bringing life back to her unenthusiastic and unmotivated team seems impossible, until she discovers an incredibly successful workplace down the street where the employees are so alive and passionate that people stop just to watch them work!

Funny You Should Ask... features the QI Elves' answers to 200 questions on topics ranging from goosebumps to gherkins and everything in-between. Generously sprinkled with mind-boggling extra facts from the Elves, this is essential listening for the incurably curious.

From #1 Amazon bestselling author, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestselling author, H.P. Mallory, comes the “Midlife Mermaid” series! THE MERMAID NEXT DOOR (Book 1) Being a mermaid isn’t all it’s cracked up to be... In the underwater kingdom of Corsica, mermaids are the property of mermen. We’re considered valuable as breeders until we reach our mid-thirties, at which time we’re deemed no longer useful. Good thing for me I’m forty, never had any children and I’m a widow. So, I can basically live my life as I see fit. Until my husband’s younger brother, Cullen, decides to ...

Nationally recognized and award-winning humor writer Jim Mize shares his insights from forty years of writing humor. In addition to discussing techniques, Mize credits his original sources so readers can view the materials that first inspired him. Readers will also be entertained with examples from his writing and see firsthand how Mize put these skills to work in his stories. Topics covered include joke writing, humor formats, misdirection, tension, timing, workshops, finding markets, and more. Of course, along the way, quite a few humorous things happened and these stories are shared as ...

The Truth About Betta Fish—Except, It’s Completely Made Up Dive into a world where Betta fish build castles out of bubble gum and communicate through secret dance moves! Fake Facts About Betta Fish is your ticket to a laugh-out-loud journey through the most absurd and wildly entertaining myths about these vibrant little swimmers. Ever wonder if Betta fish secretly moonlight as glitter cannon operators? Or if feeding them birthday cake extends their lifespan to a century? This book doesn’t just think outside the fishbowl; it blows the bowl away entirely! With zany illustrations and ...

This is a collection of twenty-nine short stories and is completely true and hardly exaggerates events as written, as fantastic as that may sound. As a kid living so far out in the country that the sun didn't rise until ten AM, I remember reading Mark Twain’s Life on the River and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and thinking of those stories as a documentary account of my life. I didn’t have a slave or float down the Mississippi on a raft, but I grew up with eight surviving siblings and got into more mischief than anyone would believe. Momma whipped my back and legs with a peach tree...

When Sawyer learns what I am—a mermaid—he isn’t sure what to make of the fact. Worse, it seems distance is what he needs most. Even though things might be less than ideal between Sawyer and me, at least I still have a friend in Wendy. But, soon, even that relationship will see its own crisis when posters appear throughout town proclaiming I’m a criminal on the run. Although the rumors are a hoax, I feel the whole town is turning against me, Wendy included—and I can only wonder who’s to blame for the lies. Luckily for me, there’s a new man in my life named Marshall. Having just...

John Ford, Sr., returns to the outdoors of Maine with This Cider Still Tastes Funny!: Further Adventures of a Game Warden in Maine, his follow-up to the highly popular and critically acclaimed Suddenly, the Cider Didn't Taste So Good. Ford is a retired Maine game warden, sheriff, and gifted storyteller who carved out a reputation as a man of the law, but one who wasn't a by-the-book enforcer. He often came up with a good quip as he slipped the handcuffs on a violator, and he wasn't above accepting a lesson learned as sufficient penalty for breaking the law.

Shine the science spotlight on flounders, sharks, eels, and an ocean full of other fish! Organized by reference topics such as habitat, anatomy, and life cycle, Fish introduces young listeners to these aquatic animals.

After nearly losing everything in the most recent battle with Cullen, Eva isn’t sure how to pick up the pieces. First, there’s Mayer: Yes, he was initially working for Cullen, but when push came to shove, he protected Eva. Indeed, it’s only due to Mayer that Eva is even still free. Yet he also backstabbed her, so she isn’t sure how she should feel towards him or whether she can or should ever trust him again. Then there’s Mara—once Eva’s best friend, now things are beyond rocky between the two mermaids. All Eva wants is to resolve this feud between them, but unless Eva agrees ...

Sometimes, the hardest locks to pick are the ones we put on our own hearts. Celebrity divorce experts Olivia Chen and Marcus Rodriguez have turned relationship security into a science. But when America's favorite power couple hires them—just as Olivia's long-lost mother reappears with dangerous connections to their corporate rivals—their perfectly constructed walls begin to crumble. With their revolutionary system being stolen and their own relationship tested, Olivia and Marcus face an impossible choice: maintain the barriers that have kept them safe, or risk everything by letting love...

Millions of people have fallen in love with Marcel. Now the tiny shell with shoes and a big heart is transitioning from online sensation to classic audiobook character, and listeners can learn more about this adorable creature and his wonderfully peculiar world.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something...askew? Sophie has just received her first advance check for her delectable dog biscuits. With the extra cash, she hires another employee, freeing up some time to try her hand at baking cakes, just like her grandmother. Her skills are put to the test when an out-of-town bride asks her to make a stunning cake and other delicious pastries for her destination wedding since her fiance' was just diagnosed as celiac. There’s a catch, though. The wedding is in a week and Sophie has to be on-site for several days. Right before she ...

Jumping trees are the bane of Ben Baker' existence. He can't remember how many times a wampus cat has killed him. It's a wonder Hawgin' Fishbreath and Ben are still alive to tell these tales. If you love Southern humor in the style of Jerry Clower and Justin Wilson with helping of Lewis Grizzard thrown in, this is the book for you. Ben Baker relates tales of growing up in the South, misadventures in the woods and on the water, and some tall tales to tickle your funny bone.

I'm dreaming of a white...poodle. It's been over two months since Sophie helped solve the mystery of a sabotaged wedding. Now that she and Andy are exclusively dating, she tries to put the past behind her and focus on the possibilities that the Christmas season brings. They even find time to go on double dates with Lexie and Daniel, although they try not to spend too much time with those love birds since their over-the-top displays of affection tend to be nauseating. The town of Sweetwater is decked out for the holiday season, from wreaths on the lamp posts to a large Christmas tree in the ...

Through a series of 50 personal essays, each of which worthy of its own podcast, Fish On, Fish Off explores what happens when the self-taught, DIY angler sets out to fish the world–and winds up stumbling into every possible pitfall and danger along the way.

My story starts the day that my parents told me we must leave our adopted home forever. Because of the soldiers and the drought we barely had enough to eat and we could no longer stay to help the people in our village.