Bernie Rhodenbarr

11 books in series
4 out of 5 stars 1,399 ratings

Burglars Can't Be Choosers Publisher's Summary

In this first in a series of wickedly funny mysteries, best-selling author Lawrence Block introduces Bernie Rhodenbarr, sometimes burglar, sometimes sleuth. Pulling only an occasional, very discreet job, Bernie manages to maintain his comfortable New York City apartment and keep his unorthodox vocation a closely-guarded secret. Every burglar knows never to trust anonymous phone calls. But when the caller offers easy money for an hour's work, Bernie can't ignore the job. All he has to do is find a blue box in an empty apartment. But the valuable box is nowhere to be found. The occupant is, however - and he's dead. Suddenly Bernie finds himself the object of a massive man hunt, wanted for both theft and murder. Winner of multiple Edgar and Shamus Awards, Lawrence Block crafts clever plots with characters you wish you could have over for drinks. But stop to count the silver afterwards. You'll find yourself laughing out loud as gravelly-voiced narrator Richard Ferrone brings sticky-fingered Bernie to life.
©1977 Lawrence Block (P)1998 Recorded Books, LLC
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  • Book 1

    • Burglars Can't Be Choosers

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 218
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 169
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 166

    In this first in a series of wickedly funny mysteries, best-selling author Lawrence Block introduces Bernie Rhodenbarr, sometimes burglar, sometimes sleuth. Pulling only an occasional, very discreet job, Bernie manages to maintain his comfortable New York City apartment and keep his unorthodox vocation a closely-guarded secret. Every burglar knows never to trust anonymous phone calls. But when the caller offers easy money for an hour's work, Bernie can't ignore the job.

    • 4 out of 5 stars
    • Wonderful Wise-Ass Humour

    • By Bodiccea on 02-25-14

    Regular price: $19.99

  • Book 2

    • The Burglar in the Closet

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 130
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 100
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 101

    Popular author Lawrence Block creates the wild and wonderful world of Bernie Rhodenbarr: fine, upstanding citizen by day, and crafty burglar by night. In this hilarious whodunit, Bernie does a favor for his dentist, only to discover mixing his personal and professional lives can be hazardous to his well-being. As Bernie squirms in the dental chair, Dr. Sheldrake presents a business proposition. He wants Bernie to rob his estranged wife's apartment while she's out enjoying the New York City nightlife.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • Another light-hearted winner!

    • By Jan on 07-14-15

    Regular price: $19.80

  • Book 3

    • The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 114
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 75
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 76

    Trying to go legit, Bernie has taken over a secondhand bookstore in Greenwich Village, but he still can't resist stealing things when the rewards are right. Ever since he bought Barnegat Books, Bernie has been having trouble making ends meet. When a mysterious client asks him to steal a rare edition of Kipling's poetry, he seizes the opportunity to practice his criminal talents and pay his creditors. Pilfering the book is boringly easy. But delivering it is difficult - with the police and a host of shady assailants hot on his heels.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • How does Bernie do it?

    • By Jan on 01-21-17

    Regular price: $21.67

  • Book 4

    • The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 82
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 60
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 61

    In The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza, Bernie applies philosophy to match wits with a wily murderer and a few too many burglars. Bernie and his dog-grooming partner in crime, Carolyn, are planning the perfect crime. Tonight, they will rob a brownstone while the well-heeled owners are out of town with their vicious watch dog. But when Bernie painstakingly picks the lock, they discover somebody has already emptied the house - except for a valuable coin almost too hot to handle.

    • 4 out of 5 stars
    • Leaves you rooting for the burglar !

    • By Kathi on 03-17-14

    Regular price: $21.67

  • Book 5

    • The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 112
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 56
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 58

    By day, Bernie Rhodenbarr runs a respectable used book store in New York City. But by night, he gets his kicks gaining illegal entry into the posh residences of the wealthy. In this wacky mystery, the incorrigible burglar pulls off a low-risk burglary, only to find himself up against an eccentric kidnapper with a taste for abstract Dutch art. When Bernie is offered the chance to appraise a Manhattan millionaire's private library, he jumps at the opportunity.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • It's the bookseller!

    • By Jan on 01-31-17

    Regular price: $20.26

  • Book 6

    • The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 95
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 59
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 59

    Fans will rejoice as New York's most charming burglar returns to action. Greenwich Village bookseller Bernie Rhodenbarr has perfected the art of breaking and entering, as well as that of clever repartee. Bernie gets plenty of opportunity to exercise both his wit and his lock-picking muscles, as he juggles old friends, new "employees," potential girlfriends, and various criminal charges.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • Sue Grafton fell over laughing!

    • By Jan on 02-14-17

    Regular price: $25.87

  • Book 7

    • The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Frank Muller
    • Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 202
    • Performance
      4 out of 5 stars 107
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 109

    Edgar Award-winner Lawrence Block invites you into the criminally funny world of the most notorious star of mystery fiction: Bernie Rhodenbarr, bookseller by day and burglar by night. In this humorous mystery, Bernie's passion for Humphrey Bogart movies leads him to a beautiful damsel in distress, a dangerous international conspiracy, and more than a few incriminating bodies. Sparkling with wit and energy, The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart is guaranteed to have you laughing out loud.

    • 2 out of 5 stars
    • Ho-Hum

    • By Kaye E Steeno on 01-02-10

    Regular price: $25.87

  • Book 8

    • The Burglar in the Library

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 113
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 67
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 71

    Lawrence Block's talent for creating colorful characters, sophisticated dialog, and engaging atmosphere has earned him many awards: the title of Grand Master, three Edgar Awards, four Shamus Awards, and a Nero Wolfe Award. One of his most popular series follows the adventures of the suave bookseller and crook, Bernie Rhodenbarr. Bernie's sweetheart has dumped him. But although his heart is broken, he hasn't lost his love for fine books - or for an occasional discrete burglary.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • She forgot to tell him she was getting married?!

    • By Jan on 02-14-17

    Regular price: $26.60

  • Book 9

    • The Burglar in the Rye

    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 177
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 140
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 138

    Winner of multiple Edgar and Shamus Awards, Lawrence Block keeps fans guessing to the end with his rollicking Bernie Rhodenbarr mysteries. In this diverting caper, full-time bookstore owner and part-time burglar Bernie tries to do the right thing for a new friend, only to find himself accused of some terrible wrongs.

    • 5 out of 5 stars
    • Outstanding

    • By F. Hayek on 06-24-09

    Regular price: $26.60

  • Book 10

    The Burglar on the Prowl audiobook cover art
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    Sometimes a book goes temporarily out of print - and sometimes no audio version has ever been recorded. Audible wants to give you the most complete selection we can and we'll keep adding series and filling in gaps as quickly as possible.

  • Book 11

    • The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons

    • Bernie Rhodenbarr, Book 11
    • By: Lawrence Block
    • Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
    • Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4.5 out of 5 stars 156
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 141
    • Story
      4.5 out of 5 stars 140

    Ever since The Burglar on the Prowl climbed the best seller lists in 2004, fans have been clamoring for a new book featuring the lighthearted and light-fingered Bernie Rhodenbarr. Now everybody's favorite burglar returns in an 11th adventure that finds him and his lesbian sidekick Carolyn Kaiser breaking into houses, apartments, and even a museum, in a madcap adventure replete with American Colonial silver, an F. Scott Fitzgerald manuscript, a priceless portrait, and a remarkable array of buttons. And, wouldn't you know it, there's a dead body, all stretched out on a Trent Barling carpet....

    • 4 out of 5 stars
    • As usual, corny but very funny.

    • By MidwestGeek on 05-15-14

    Regular price: $24.49