Showing results by publisher "The Onion, Audible Comedy" in All Categories
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A Man at the Very Top of the Food Chain Chooses Bugles
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 02-19-17
- Language: English
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Thousands of Elderly Japanese-Americans Are Rounded Up for an Internment Camp's 70th Reunion
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 10-12-16
- Language: English
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A Local Teen Walks in on His Family Masturbating
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 09-16-16
- Language: English
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Another Senate Page Is Dragged Away by the Congressional Swamp Creature
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 07-10-17
- Language: English
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The World's Supercomputers Release a New Study Confirming That They Are Not Yet Powerful Enough
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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The World's Supercomputers Release a New Study Confirming That They Are Not Yet Powerful Enough
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 10-30-16
- Language: English
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CIA Admits Role in 1985 Coup to Oust David Lee Roth from Van Halen
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-30-16
- Language: English
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Dollar Tree Unveils Its Long-Rumored Baking Pan
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 03-12-17
- Language: English
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The National Endowment for the Arts Funds the Construction of a $1.3 Billion Dollar Poem
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The funding is designed to make sure America's poems are the best in the world.
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It’s not a book nor a podcast, it’s an announcement of an action
- By Sebastien on 11-19-23
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The National Endowment for the Arts Funds the Construction of a $1.3 Billion Dollar Poem
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 04-05-17
- Language: English
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The Coast Guard Will Let Yacht Owner Sweat It out a Little Longer
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Original Recording
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The Coast Guard watched the yacht owner jump up and down in frustration for 40 minutes.
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The Coast Guard Will Let Yacht Owner Sweat It out a Little Longer
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 04-20-17
- Language: English
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Wolf Attacks Remain the Leading Cause of Death in the U.S.
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-13-16
- Language: English
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A Local Undertaker's Last Few Embalmings Before Summer Vacation Are Always a Little Sloppy
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The mortuary director has been known to overdo it on the formaldehyde, among other things.
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A Local Undertaker's Last Few Embalmings Before Summer Vacation Are Always a Little Sloppy
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 06-29-17
- Language: English
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The U.S. Navy Forms an Elite New SEAL Team to Write Best-Selling Tell-All Books
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 01-07-17
- Language: English
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Chinese Newlyweds Wonder What They Are Going to Do with All This Medicinal Bear Bile
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 08-24-17
- Language: English
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A Local Dad Will Not Pay Someone to Fix His Marriage When He Can Do It Himself
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The dad says he won’t pay an arm and a leg for something he can probably read out of some book.
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A Local Dad Will Not Pay Someone to Fix His Marriage When He Can Do It Himself
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 09-21-17
- Language: English
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Area Mom Raves About Phoenix Airport
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 03-01-17
- Language: English
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Kim Jong Un Becomes the First Man to Walk on the Moon
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 04-27-17
- Language: English
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The Nation's Nipples Are Severely Underclamped
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 05-05-17
- Language: English
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A Woman Is Beginning to Suspect That Her Husband Is Having Yet Another Affair
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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Area woman suspects her husband is having a second, or possibly, third affair.
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A Woman Is Beginning to Suspect That Her Husband Is Having Yet Another Affair
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 01-18-17
- Language: English
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99% of Human Beings Would Prefer a Big Slobbery Hound Dog as the Pope
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 01-15-17
- Language: English
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Japan Pledges to Halt Production of Weirdo Porn
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 12-01-17
- Language: English
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