Showing results by publisher "The Onion, Audible Comedy" in All Categories
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A Local Teen Walks in on His Family Masturbating
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 09-16-16
- Language: English
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CIA Admits Role in 1985 Coup to Oust David Lee Roth from Van Halen
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-30-16
- Language: English
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A Daily Spin Class Is the Only Thing Keeping a Local Mom from Driving a Car Full of Kids into the Ocean
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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A Daily Spin Class Is the Only Thing Keeping a Local Mom from Driving a Car Full of Kids into the Ocean
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 02-23-17
- Language: English
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Meth Addicts Demand the Government Address the Nation's Growing Spider Menace
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
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[Contains explicit content] This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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Don’t waste your 30 seconds
- By Elizabeth on 07-25-19
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Meth Addicts Demand the Government Address the Nation's Growing Spider Menace
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-13-16
- Language: English
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Another Senate Page Is Dragged Away by the Congressional Swamp Creature
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 07-10-17
- Language: English
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The Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following the Death of the 'Dear Abby' Columnist
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The death of "Dear Abby" columnist sends the country into a downward spiral.
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It’s perfect
- By Salinh Thach on 12-23-20
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The Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following the Death of the 'Dear Abby' Columnist
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 02-04-17
- Language: English
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New and Improved Google Maps Lets Users Launch Missiles at Any Location on Earth
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 03-04-17
- Language: English
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Wolf Attacks Remain the Leading Cause of Death in the U.S.
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-13-16
- Language: English
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Guinness World Records Promotes a Man Who Can Lift 27 Pounds with His Tongue to Editor-in-Chief
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
- Original Recording
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The man beat out other applicants including a man who can enter a piece of zipped luggage in 3.2 seconds.
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Guinness World Records Promotes a Man Who Can Lift 27 Pounds with His Tongue to Editor-in-Chief
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-14-17
- Language: English
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The Coast Guard Will Let Yacht Owner Sweat It out a Little Longer
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The Coast Guard watched the yacht owner jump up and down in frustration for 40 minutes.
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The Coast Guard Will Let Yacht Owner Sweat It out a Little Longer
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 04-20-17
- Language: English
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The National Endowment for the Arts Funds the Construction of a $1.3 Billion Dollar Poem
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The funding is designed to make sure America's poems are the best in the world.
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It’s not a book nor a podcast, it’s an announcement of an action
- By Sebastien on 11-19-23
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The National Endowment for the Arts Funds the Construction of a $1.3 Billion Dollar Poem
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 04-05-17
- Language: English
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A New Study Finds That a Mass Extinction Could Free Up Billions in Conservation Funding
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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A mass extinction would be a major boon both for individual citizens and the country at large.
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60 Seconds of not funny
- By Kathy Chemacki on 11-23-18
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A New Study Finds That a Mass Extinction Could Free Up Billions in Conservation Funding
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 01-23-17
- Language: English
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A Local Undertaker's Last Few Embalmings Before Summer Vacation Are Always a Little Sloppy
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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The mortuary director has been known to overdo it on the formaldehyde, among other things.
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A Local Undertaker's Last Few Embalmings Before Summer Vacation Are Always a Little Sloppy
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 06-29-17
- Language: English
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A New Apple Campaign Urges Consumers to Buy an iPhone for Their Other Hand
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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Insightful, informative and interestingly intense.
- By JIM on 06-02-20
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A New Apple Campaign Urges Consumers to Buy an iPhone for Their Other Hand
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 10-07-16
- Language: English
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A Local Man Puts a Glass of Water on His Nightstand in Case He Needs to Make a Huge Mess in the Middle of the Night
- By: Marichelle Kawachi
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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A Local Man Puts a Glass of Water on His Nightstand in Case He Needs to Make a Huge Mess in the Middle of the Night
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 09-13-16
- Language: English
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Chinese Newlyweds Wonder What They Are Going to Do with All This Medicinal Bear Bile
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 08-24-17
- Language: English
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The Feds Bust a Massive Child Pornography Corporation
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 05-17-17
- Language: English
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An Ambitious High Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans to Japan to Use Their Trains
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: 1 min
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Officials say after the 10-hour plane ride Americans can travel from Tokyo to Osaka in under three hours.
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An Ambitious High Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans to Japan to Use Their Trains
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 08-23-17
- Language: English
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The Last Ice Age Was Caused by the Earth Floating into an Extremely Chilly Part of the Galaxy
- Length: 1 min
- Release date: 09-30-16
- Language: English
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The United States to Offer Tax Incentives to Companies That Do Not Openly Make the World a Worse Place
- By: Doyle Redland
- Length: Less than 1 minute
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This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.
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The United States to Offer Tax Incentives to Companies That Do Not Openly Make the World a Worse Place
- Length: Less than 1 minute
- Release date: 11-16-16
- Language: English
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