Showing results by author "Marichelle Kawachi"

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    • An Indian-American Couple's Accent Makes Their Fight Adorable

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      1 out of 5 stars 1
    • Performance
      3 out of 5 stars 1
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • An Area Mother Always Feels the Violent Desire to Make Her Doorway Reflect the Current Season

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • Local Parents Surprised That Cruel Teen Daughter Hasn't Pushed a Classmate to the Breaking Point Yet

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • A Manly Man Wastes an Entire Years' Worth of Feelings on a Single Movie Viewing

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • A Washed up Toddler Can't Point out Things Like He Used To

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • Encouraging Loved Ones Keep a Local Writer Struggling Indefinitely

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    The unpublished writer would have gone to law school years ago if not for the unending support.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • An Area Man Is Scolded by His Brother-in-Law for Not Taking Full Advantage of the Open Bar

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    [Contains explicit content] The non-blood relative says he plans on carrying at least two beers with him at all times.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • A Local Woman Always Dreamed of Opening Her Own Sparsely Attended Dance Studio

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    The poorly attended, unprofitable dance school is all she ever wanted.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Bigoted Asshole Makes the Best Barbecue

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • An Area Woman Is Excited to Finally Experience the Unbearable Loneliness of Having Her Own Place

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    The move to solo living comes after the better part of a decade living with roommates.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Lapsed Cult Member Only Attends Sanctum on Major Bloodletting Holidays

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A 9/11 Truther Vows Not to Rest until Everyone Knows He's an Asshole

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    [Contains explicit content] Friends say the truther is a jackass who drowns out anyone unfortunate to be within earshot.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A 250-Pound Man Is in the Best Shape of His Life

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Local Dad Thought He Could Make It Out of the Zoo Without Buying His Kids Some Light-Up Shit

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    [Contains explicit content] The Father of two says he hoped to get out of the zoo with only buying each of his kids a Chipwich.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • A Superstitious Man Puts a Bag of Trash Outside His House Every Thursday

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    A local man's odd habit is drawing increasing attention.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Psychic Helps Police Waste Their Valuable Time

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    The woman reportedly saw a lake after picking up vibrations from the missing man’s scarf.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Shy Man Has a Close Call with a Food Sample

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $1.95

    • A Woman Is Beginning to Suspect That Her Husband Is Having Yet Another Affair

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    Area woman suspects her husband is having a second, or possibly, third affair.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Local Life-Insurance Salesman Is a Living Catalog of Horrific Sudden-Death Scenarios

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    This just in from The Onion, America's finest news source.

    Regular price: $0.99

    • A Local Undertaker's Last Few Embalmings Before Summer Vacation Are Always a Little Sloppy

    • By: Marichelle Kawachi
    • Length: Not Yet Known
    • Original Recording
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    The mortuary director has been known to overdo it on the formaldehyde, among other things.

    Regular price: $0.99

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