Out of the Fog

Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

De: Dana Morningstar

Narrado por: Dana Morningstar

The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.

However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.

The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.

Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".

This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:

• "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
• "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
• A parent vs. a predator
• Commitment vs. codependency
• Self-love vs. selfishness
• A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
• Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
• A friend vs. someone being friendly
• Caring vs. caretaking

©2017 Dana Morningstar (P)2019 Dana Morningstar

I would highly recommend this book!

This book was so easy to listen to! I got out of a unhealthy, narcissistic relationship over 20 year ago have been in a lot of therapy to learn to trust myself again and overcome the trauma I experienced in that relationship. I am now remarried to a wonderful man who truly loves and supports me but this book showed me areas where I still have triggers and behaviors that I need to unlearn. The content was so insightful and helpful - Dana give you so many practical suggestions to help navigate the process to becoming the best version of yourself that you can be!

The BEST Book I've read on this Topic

I have read alot on the topic of nacissustic abuse, but this is by far my best read! Morningstar provides a guid to life skills that you can apply right away! Her way of presenting concepts and feelings is perfect, and her calm and lovely voice compliments the content so beautifully. The whole listening experiance is so enjoyable, as Morningstar helps you to cultivate your understanding of past and present interactions.
Thank you for this book!

Very helpful book

Anyone who has been in a relationship with an abusive person needs to listen to this book. I know I will listen to it again because there was so much good information it was hard to absorb it all the first time.

Every word is a gold seed....

I healed more from listening this book than from several therapy sessions. Dana's voice is so warm

TRUTH! A must read for anybody coming out of a toxic relationship.

If you have dated, or were married to, an abusive person such as a sociopath, narcissist, or psychopath… you absolutely must read this book! After being gaslit, blamed and told you are a terrible worthless person for any length of time, you start to believe in their bullshit and think “maybe it really is all my fault?” Or you might be wondering “What the heck just happened to me?” Or experience intense self doubt. It is so confusing when you are trying to sort out the reality of what you just went through after being romantically involved with a disordered person. This book will give you clarity! A very helpful and relatable piece of literature :) this book will help you heal !

A Must-Read!

This book is a life saver and sanity saver. It is helping me recover from an abusive relationship and breakup, but I wish it was required reading in highschool, before anyone started dating. A healthy person can't fathom the thoughts and actions of the unhealthy, which makes it easy for us to blindly fall into manipulative traps by seemingly "good" people. This book explains traits to look for as a preventative and healing clarity, but also great for those supporting others to validate their experience with trauma.

WOW!! PROFOUND!!

This book covers many emotional pitfalls. I will listen to this book over & over!!

Empowering shot of clarity and courage

Thank the Almighty for Dana and this book. it is the perfect balance of support, recognition, owning our contribution and giving clarity for the road ahead. Thank you, Dana! You have made a difference in my life.

Life Changing

I wish I had read a book like this 20 years ago. If I had this indepth knowledge and insight, back then, I would have been able to avoid many pitfalls and painful relationships. The content of this book validated a lot of my past traumas and reminded me that my past traumas do not define who I am today. With perseverance, hard work and faith in the redemptive power of Jesus Christ, my life has turned out so much better than I ever imagined. I refuse to allow those past traumas & memories to ruin my life and dictate my future. I now make good choices in who I let into my inner circle of friends & I always accept an opportunity to encourage others who have been traumatized. There is a good life available to any of us after living through traumatic relationships or childhoods. I highly recommend this book.

So much clarity

This book validated what I went through and explained some things I had experienced like trauma amnesia that I didn’t have a name for, highly recommend.