• Mastering Nerves
    Apr 4 2024

    Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned.

    Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:

    • Celebrate Incremental Improvement
    • Write Happy Endings
    • Ignore Your Nerves


    Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0


    Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here.


    For Coaches! 2 Resources!

    1. Coaching Stories Podcast


    2. Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given!


    Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here.

    Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.


    This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

    Managing Yourself

    Nervousness

    Self-Talk


    Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

    Act “As If”

    Choosing Persistence

    Conquering Fear

    The Executive Impostor

    The Many Parts of You


    Grab a free transcript of the episode here.


    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

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    24 mins
  • Conquering People Pleasing
    Mar 7 2024

    Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.


    Be in touch with Tom here.


    Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.


    Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership.


    G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.


    This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

    For Women

    Managing Yourself

    Self-Talk


    Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

    188 Boundaries

    165 The Conflict Conversation

    220 Holding Boundaries

    219 How to Set Boundaries

    116 Speaking Your Truth


    Grab a free transcript of the show here.


    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

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    26 mins
  • Finding Management Courage
    Feb 1 2024

    A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.

    The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.

    Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here.

    Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:

    Assertiveness

    Feedback

    Management Skills


    Five episodes you might listen to are:

    #47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors

    #18 Holding People Accountable

    #138 Managing Disruptive Executives

    #127 Managing Performance: Up or Out

    #65 Sorting & Labeling


    A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others.

    Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.

    Grab a free transcript of the show here.


    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

    #podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges  #behaviormanagement  #leadershiptips   #leadershipdevelopment  

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    19 mins
  • 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists
    Jan 11 2024

    A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.

    In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.” 


    Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.


    Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.


    Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.


    Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:

    • The Disruptive Executive – Part One
    • The Disruptive Executive – Part Two
    • Don’t Take It Personally
    • Handling Defensive Behaviors
    • The High-Maintenance Executive


    Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership

    Happy, healthy, safe new year!

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    18 mins
  • Leading with Political Savvy – Part 2
    Dec 7 2023

    Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture.

    Download our free Political Style Chart here.

    “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics.



    Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here.


    More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:

    For Women
    Perception – how you perceive others
    Relationship Building

    Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:

    188 - Boundaries
    210 - How to grow your self-management
    67 - “I hate politics”
    142 - The Mindful Executive
    121 - Your Goodwill Bank Account

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.

    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

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    22 mins
  • Leading with Political Savvy – Part 1
    Nov 2 2023

    A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do?

    Download our free Political Style Chart here.


    “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. 


    Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:

    Self-Talk

    Leadership

    For Women

    Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:


    187 - Agreeable Disagreement

    215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire

    192 - Pursuing a Promotion

    207 - Tough Conversations

    67 - “I Hate Politics”

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    JAPAN!

    Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.com


    Let us know how we can support you.


    Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership,  be well! And thanks!


     



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    27 mins
  • Building Consensus – Savvy or Sin?
    Oct 4 2023

    A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.

    Tools for teams abound in this episode. 


    The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:

    • Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea;
    • Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people;
    • Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you;
    • Develop your comfort with disagreement.


    The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.

    Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.


    This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:

    Communication Skills

    Leading Teams

    Management Skills

    Specific episodes that will help you develop your team are:

    Facilitating Open Dialogue

    How Teams Fight

    Leadership Behavior in Meetings

    Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta

    Questions as Leadership

    Taming Meetings 

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.


    To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show.


    Let us know how we can support you.


    Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!

    #podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding    #EffectiveTeams  #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership   

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    27 mins
  • The Conflict Resolution Wheel
    Sep 7 2023

    A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. 

    The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.

    The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.


    The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online. 


    Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.

    This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:

    Communication Skills

    Managing Yourself

    Relationship Building


    Five episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:

    Conflict

    The Conflict Conversation

    Creating Safety for Hard Talks

    A Difficult Conversation

    Resolving Conflict


    Every month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.

    Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show!

    Let us know how we can support you.


    Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!


     



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    25 mins