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Publisher's Summary

Isn't it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you're prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life.

When you're assertive, you're able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren't assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren't being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.

Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You'll learn about the three communication stances - from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern - and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you're unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you'll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want.

Whether you're anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.

©2016 Julie de Azevedo Hanks (P)2016 Wetware Media

What listeners say about The Assertiveness Guide for Women

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Does not teach the How of Assertiveness

This book does not teach the HOW of Assertiveness

However it will tell you:

WHAT Assertiveness is and is not
WHERE lack of Assertiveness originates from
WHO tends to be Assertive and who does not
WHEN an assertive person would take action
WHY I am not assertive

BUT

It never answers the HOW !!! Which is the main point of the title ! HOW !

I have been waiting for 9 chapters for the author to explain HOW to be assertive but she never answers HOW. I stopped listening after chapter 9.

I gave it 3 stars because I did learn the who, what, where, why, and when of assertiveness or non-assertiveness. But I did not learn HOW.

So, the title of the book is deceiving because it never explains the HOW.


The End.

27 people found this helpful

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This book spoke to me on a lot of levels

I really enjoyed this book. I especially liked the authors own stories about her family life and struggles with an anxious attachment style. It made me feel hopeful that my fears will melt away as I make different empowering choices. The tools for advocating were supported with a background in attachment styles and helpful metaphors for communication.

6 people found this helpful

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So eye-opening!

This book really helped me understand myself better and become more aware of my interactions with others. I found it interesting, enlightening, instructive, and crucial to building stronger relationships and becoming more self-aware.

5 people found this helpful

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Worth the read

Helpful suggestions and use of personal examples. Worth purchasing and relistening to. Glad I got it

5 people found this helpful

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Excellent guide for assertive communication

Thorough and helpful guidance through attachment styles, communication styles and specific tools to help written for women by a woman.

3 people found this helpful

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Simple, precise, specific for contemporary women

I am so grateful to have found this book right now. I have never really educated myself on emotional intelligence. This book is thorough without being overwhelming. It makes the listener feel very hopeful at the possibility of overcoming the challenges of being assertive as a woman when society and family dynamics have discouraged such skills in women. I suppose I feel kind of behind not knowing about any of these concepts (they seem so simple and to have so much potential to transform ones life) but the writing and the delivery of the book is so unpretentious, non judge mental and hopeful. It actually makes me excited to work on some of the areas of my life that I have been avoiding to hear the writer talk about it so positively and with such ease. I recently ended my relationship of 3 years because I was simple unable to ask for what I needed then I would have outbursts of anger when my life wasn't the way I wanted it - I'm hoping to learn a lot from this book and make some necessary changes.

21 people found this helpful

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Beneficial but not what I was expecting

I really enjoyed this book. However, I purchased it thinking it was a professional development book. It actually ended up being more of a self help book but also exactly what I needed. It was really insightful and encouraged self reflection in a way I’d never explored before. I’ll probably listen to this a few more times! I feel like there’s much to be learned!

2 people found this helpful

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Some takeaways

I appreciate the author writing this book and value her vulnerability to share her own experience with an Anxious Attachment style. I am happy (and jealous) that she found out about attachment theory in high school. I am now 48 and grieve my lost years, I was 39 when I began to learn how childhood trauma and insecure attachment have affected my brain development, thinking, emotions, behavior and relationships.

This book had some takeaway information that were helpful to observe and practice in my own day to day life while I listened to to the book 3 times over the course of a month.

I think this book has broad and basic level content and good for newbies.

7 people found this helpful

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A brief guide for me

I think it is a relatively short guide for me. I think I need more examples to help me with understanding and applying the concept the author is talking about. But the good thing is this book does have clear and good exercises for practicing being assertive. I recommend it if you are stepping into the being assertive world.

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very womens lib

I wish I could return this awful book .Seven chapters of setup before any information.

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  • M. Timothy
  • 08-11-17

Easy listening

Engaging but had to order book as you want to back over things so I found finding the right place on the audio a bit fiddly

7 people found this helpful

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  • Mrs. G. Castro
  • 12-01-16

I'm glad I've purchased this audio book.

Very helpful! Easy to follow, I've learned a lot from it. I recommend it to anyone with difficulties with good communication.

9 people found this helpful

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  • soozoo
  • 08-10-18

Too much waffle

The first 20 minutes of this book is dedicated to telling you what’s in the book.

A chapter after that, and there’s still nothing of any detail, just beating around the bush with stuff that should be common sense. No focus on any particular subject.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Zoe Baker
  • 01-02-19

Life changer

This book has completely changed my life! Highlight recommend if you feel like you struggle with communication

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-23-21

WOW brilliant, totally recommended

Opened my mind, lots of great strategies, very easy to listen to and the workbook helps

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  • XY
  • 03-16-18

Amazing

Will also buy it as a book.
Very very good introduction into concepts related to and necessary for assertiveness.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-05-19

no chapters?

It's a great book to have, but without chapters marked within the book makes it difficult to go over material you find helpful, exercises etc.
the narration was a bit stiff. I'd suggest buying a real life or ebook version instead

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-24-20

So helpful and empowering

This book is amazing. It delves into why assertiveness can be so challenging for some women and then provides a clear path to overcoming these obstacles. Insightful. Practical.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-27-18

Good and useful

Good, useful info.Well written and practical. Enjoyed it. It is long and can drag a bit but overall a good listen and worth it.

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  • Kelly
  • 08-25-18

Insights and key ah-ha moments immediately

I keep returning to this book because it delivers huge concepts in a very clear and easily understood manner. It gives clear examples, personable confessions, clear strategies and then reviews each chapters key points- finally, it encourages pausing and analyzing where our own life’s patterns might fit with these theories. 3rd time reading it and have gained even more insights. Thank you Julie!