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Rip-Off!
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton, Scott Brick, Christian Rummel, Jonathan Davis, Stefan Rudnicki, L. J. Ganser, Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
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Publisher's summary
Audie Award Finalist, Original Work, 2014
In Rip-Off!, 13 of today’s best and most honored writers of speculative fiction face a challenge even they would be hard-pressed to conceive: Pick your favorite opening line from a classic piece of fiction (or even non-fiction) - then use it as the first sentence of an entirely original short story.
In the world of Rip-Off!, "Call me Ishmael" introduces a tough-as-nails private eye - who carries a harpoon; The Wonderful Wizard of Oz inspires the tale of an aging female astronaut who’s being treated by a doctor named Dorothy Gale; and Huckleberry Finn leads to a wild ride with a foul-mouthed riverboat captain who plies the waters of Hell.
Once you listen to Rip-Off! you’ll agree: If Shakespeare or Dickens were alive today, they’d be ripping off the authors in this great collection.
The stories included in Rip-Off! are:
- "Fireborn" by Robert Charles Wilson
- "The Evening Line" by Mike Resnick
- "No Decent Patrimony" by Elizabeth Bear
- "The Big Whale" by Allen M. Steele
- "Begone" by Daryl Gregory
- "The Red Menace" by Lavie Tidhar
- "Muse of Fire" by John Scalzi
- "Writer’s Block" by Nancy Kress
- "Highland Reel" by Jack Campbell
- "Karin Coxswain or Death as She Is Truly Lived" by Paul Di Filippo
- "The Lady Astronaut of Mars" by Mary Robinette Kowal
- "Every Fuzzy Beast of the Earth, Every Pink Fowl of the Air" by Tad Williams
- "Declaration" by James Patrick Kelly
As a bonus, the authors introduce their stories, explaining what they ripped-off - and why.
Rip-Off! was produced in partnership with SFWA - Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America. Gardner Dozois served as project editor.
The full list of narrators includes: Wil Wheaton, Scott Brick, Christian Rummel, Jonathan Davis, Khristine Hvam, L.J. Ganser, Stefan Rudnicki, David Marantz, Nicola Barber, Dina Pearlman, Allyson Johnson, Marc Vietor, and Ilyana Kadushin.
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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Steampunk! An Anthology of Fantastically Rich and Strange Stories
- By: Kelly Link - editor, Gavin J. Grant - editor
- Narrated by: Sarah Coomes, Nico Evers-Swindell, Shannon McManus, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine an alternate universe where romance and technology reign. Where tinkerers and dreamers craft and recraft a world of automatons, ornate clockworks, calculating machines, and other marvels that. Where scientists and schoolgirls, fair folk and Romans, intergalactic bandits, and intrepid orphans - decked out in corsets, clockwerk suits, and tall black boots - solve dastardly crimes, escape from monstrous predicaments, consult oracles, and hover over volcanoes in steam-powered airships.
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MMMM, Orca Bacon
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By: Kelly Link - editor, and others
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Perchance to Dream
- Selected Stories
- By: Charles Beaumont
- Narrated by: J. Paul Boehmer, Gabrielle de Cuir, Harlan Ellison, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The profoundly original and wildly entertaining short stories of a legendary Twilight Zone writer. It is only natural that Charles Beaumont would make a name for himself crafting scripts for The Twilight Zone - for his was an imagination so limitless it must have emerged from some other dimension. Perchance to Dream contains a selection of Beaumont's finest stories, including five that he later adapted for Twilight Zone episodes.
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Contents
- By Ralph Freaster on 06-22-16
By: Charles Beaumont
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Shadow Show
- All-New Stories in Celebration of Ray Bradbury
- By: Sam Weller - editor, Mort Castle - editor
- Narrated by: George Takei, Edward Herrmann, Kate Mulgrew, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Ray Bradbury - peerless storyteller, poet of the impossible, and one of America's most beloved authors - is a literary giant whose remarkable career spanned seven decades. Now 26 of today's most diverse and celebrated authors offer new short works in honor of the master; stories of heart, intelligence, and dark wonder from a remarkable range of creative artists.
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THE MAN WHO FORGOT RAY BRADBURY
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-27-17
By: Sam Weller - editor, and others
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The Book of Magic
- By: Gardner Dozois - editor, Scott Lynch, Elizabeth Bear, and others
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker, Sile Bermingham, Maxwell Caulfield, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Hot on the heels of Gardner Dozois's acclaimed anthology The Book of Swords comes this companion volume devoted to magic. How could it be otherwise? For every Frodo, there is a Gandalf... and a Saruman. For every Dorothy, a Glinda... and a Wicked Witch of the West. What would Harry Potter be without Albus Dumbledore... and Severus Snape? Figures of wisdom and power, possessing arcane, often forbidden knowledge, wizards and sorcerers are shaped - or misshaped - by the potent magic they seek to wield.
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Very Good, With One Objection
- By Kindle Customer on 05-05-20
By: Gardner Dozois - editor, and others
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Oz Reimagined
- New Tales from the Emerald City and Beyond
- By: Douglas Cohen - editor, John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Tanya Eby
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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When L. Frank Baum introduced Dorothy and friends to the American public in 1900, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz became an instant, best-selling hit. Today the whimsical tale remains a cultural phenomenon that continues to spawn wildly popular books, movies, and musicals. Now, editors John Joseph Adams and Douglas Cohen have brought together leading fantasy writers such as Orson Scott Card and Jane Yolen to create the ultimate anthology for Oz fans.
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The Many Faces of Dorothy or Dot
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-19-14
By: Douglas Cohen - editor, and others
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Hark! The Herald Angels Scream
- By: Christopher Golden - editor, Joe R. Lansdale, Scott Smith, and others
- Narrated by: Charles Constant, Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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That there is darkness at the heart of the Yuletide season should not surprise. Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol is filled with scenes that are unsettling. The hideous children - Want and Ignorance - beneath the robe of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. In the finest versions of this story, the best parts are the terrifying parts. Best-selling author and editor Christopher Golden shares his love for Christmas horror stories with this anthology of all-new short fiction from some of the most talented and original writers of horror today.
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Some good, some clunkers. Some fun, none scary.
- By Max Trivial on 12-24-18
By: Christopher Golden - editor, and others
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How Long 'Til Black Future Month?
- Stories
- By: N. K. Jemisin
- Narrated by: Shayna Small, Gail Nelson-Holgate, Robin Ray Eller, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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N. K. Jemisin is one of the most powerful and acclaimed speculative fiction authors of our time. In the first collection of her evocative short fiction, Jemisin equally challenges and delights listeners with thought-provoking narratives of destruction, rebirth, and redemption.
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Great! One quibble with the audiobook editing
- By L on 03-05-19
By: N. K. Jemisin
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The Sword-Edged Blonde
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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It should have been a case like any other: a missing princess, a king willing to pay in gold for her return. But before he realizes it, private investigator Eddie LaCrosse, a slightly shopworn sword jockey with a talent for discretion and detection, is swept up in a web of mystery and deceit involving a brutally murdered royal heir, a queen accused of an unspeakable crime, and the tragic past he thought he'd left behind.
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No Redeeming Qualities
- By MightyMite68 on 09-27-20
By: Alex Bledsoe
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The Hum and the Shiver
- The Tufa Novels, Book 1
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Emily Janice Card, Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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No one knows where the Tufa came from or how they ended up in the mountains of east Tennessee. When the first Europeans came to the Smoky Mountains, the Tufa were already there. Dark-haired and enigmatic, they live quietly in the hills and valleys of Cloud County, their origins lost to history. But there are clues in their music, hidden in the songs they have passed down for generations.
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Excellent story that combines music and folklore
- By T. L. Walker on 10-01-15
By: Alex Bledsoe
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Grim
- By: Ellen Hopkins, Julie Kagawa, Amanda Hocking, and others
- Narrated by: Christine Johnson
- Length: 13 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Inspired by classic fairy tales, but with a dark and sinister twist, Grim contains short stories from some of the best voices in young adult literature today: Ellen Hopkins, Amanda Hocking, Julie Kagawa, Claudia Gray, Rachel Hawkins, Kimberly Derting, Myra McEntire, Malinda Lo, Sarah Rees-Brennan, Jackson Pearce, Christine Johnson, Jeri Smith Ready, Shaun David Hutchinson, Saundra Mitchell, Sonia Gensler, Tessa Gratton, Jon Skrovron.
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amazing
- By Anonymous User on 10-04-17
By: Ellen Hopkins, and others
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The Talisman
- By: Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Frank Muller
- Length: 28 hrs
- Unabridged
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On a brisk autumn day, a 13-year-old boy stands on the shores of the gray Atlantic, near a silent amusement park and a fading ocean resort called the Alhambra. The past has driven Jack Sawyer here: His father is gone, his mother is dying, and the world no longer makes sense. But for Jack everything is about to change. For he has been chosen to make a journey back across America - and into another realm. One of the most influential and heralded works of fantasy ever written, The Talisman is an extraordinary novel of loyalty, awakening, terror, and mystery.
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Still Good
- By Bill S. on 03-24-10
By: Stephen King, and others
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Book of Secrets
- By: Chris Roberson
- Narrated by: Peter Brooke
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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It will take more than angels and demons to stop him. Reporter Spencer Finch is embroiled in the hunt for a missing book, encountering along the way cat burglars and mobsters, hackers and mysterious monks. At the same time, he's trying to make sense of the legacy left to him by his late grandfather, a chest of what appear to be pulp magazines from the golden age of fantasy fiction.
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Rating < 0
- By Sandra on 04-04-16
By: Chris Roberson
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What listeners say about Rip-Off!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- carmen
- 01-04-13
not just for sci-fi fans
What did you love best about Rip-Off!?
The premise is take a classic line from another story and/or plot of another story and make it their own. All the narration was fabulous as well.There is also a forward from each author about this challenge put before them. I enjoyed all the stories but I will focus on my favorites Mike Resnick's "the evening line" where Harry and Benny give us color commentary on which woman is going to relieve Malone of his winnings from the race. Hilarious!! Including Zombies and Mages. Allen Steeles "the Big Whale" Where Captain Ahab's wife contracts Ishmael, a hard boiled private dick, to investigate her husbands lover Moby. The story starts where Ishmael just got back from doing work on the unlawful termination case of Bartleby the Scrivenor, who, when he went to collect payment, said he would prefer not to lol. Paul de philiipo "death as she has truly lived" All I am going to say about that is it's the story of my (after)life. I love Mark Twain and this is quite a different adventure than Huckleberry Finn had. I laughed out loud through the whole story.
What did you like best about this story?
The above mentioned stories were the top three funny stories. I also want to mention how great john scalzi's and James Patrick Kelly's stories. John scalzi usually writes campy sci-fi stories but "muse of fire" was not at all campy. It was very well written and beautifully narrated by Wil Wheaton. This Confirms what I already suspected Scalzi has agreat imagination and ability to let us see that through his storytelling and Wil Wheaton channels that. James patrick Kelly's "declaration" was an interesting twist on the declaration of independence. It took place in a matrix type world. However you can see where this could be our future.People are interacting less and less IRL so there are mandates on how much time you must spend on hard time ( real life). Some people want to declare their indepedence to live life fully in virtual world. It is very heartbreaking.
What does the narrators bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Wil Wheaton's narration of "Muse of Fire" took my breath away. It was stunning. Also I laughed all the way through Dina Pearlmans narration of "Karen Coxswain"
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
"Muse of Fire" was a very moving story. I think it could be about unhealthy or codependant relationships if you want to dig deep into the story. I think I was particularly moved because I did not expect that from Scalzi. Yes he does provoke thought in his novels but they are so fun you just think about it a little and go back to laughing. This story was kind of sad. Also "declaration" moved me because I know someone who lost a brother with a disability and it is both difficult and freeing at the same time so that is very moving.
Any additional comments?
I wanted to mention that I usually buy anthologies to get a sample of different authors so I can see if I want to read more. Although "the red menace" by Lavie Tidhar was not my favorite I did like the way he told the story so I will definitely be looking up other stories by him. This is definitely a great anthology and I think even if sci-fi is not your thing you might still enjoy it because obviously reading is your thing or you wouldn't be in a book club, right.
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- Gyula Mészáros
- 09-11-13
Good stories mixed with bad ones
The idea of "ripping off" famous stories by taking their first sentences seemed interesting, so I bought Rip-Off! I finished the book with mixed feelings. There are some great stories in it. Scalzi hits the high bar as he usually does, I liked The Muse of Fire the most. I had some good time with The Red Menace (by Lavie Tidhar) and The Big Whale (by Allen M. Steele). There were OK stories with nice twist at the end, like Writers' Block (by Nancy Kress), and there were OK stories, which were pleasant to listen to without having big endings, like The Lady Astronaut of Mars (by Mary Robinette Kowal). Then other stories were waste of time, I gave up on some of them after five minutes, for example Karin Coxswain or Death as She Is Truly Lived (by Paul Di Filippo).
So, do I suggest this book? Yes, if you have fair tolerance towards books with good stories mixed with ones going nowhere.
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38 people found this helpful
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Story
- Robert Moore
- 03-21-13
Something for Everyone to Enjoy
Would you consider the audio edition of Rip-Off! to be better than the print version?
Yes. I think the variety of voice actors brings a lot to helping you hear the difference in the authors' voices.
Who was your favorite character and why?
This would be a close tie between the main characters from "The Big Whale" by Allen M. Steele and "Begone" by Daryl Gregory.
Which scene was your favorite?
I think the scene in "Begone" where the character was talking to the guy from "I Dream of Jeannie" was my favorite. If you watched 60s television, you'll find this story pretty amazing.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Definitely laughed a lot during various authors. Nothing especially sad, though.
Any additional comments?
I didn't enjoy the first few authors nearly as much as the later bits. If you decide to listen to this, my advice is to give each story 15 minutes or so and skip to the next if you don't enjoy any given author.
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23 people found this helpful
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- hornist
- 01-30-13
Rip-Off? No--Good Value!
What did you love best about Rip-Off!?
Rip-Off was a eclectic collection of stories written by Sci-Fi writers that each began with their author's own favourite first line of a book. The variety offered in the book really appealed to me.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Sophia in "Every Fuzzy Beast of the Earth, Every Pink Fowl of the Air" by Tad Williams was my favourite character. Unfortunately, if I shared my reasoning, I'd be spoiling the story!
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
It was a perfect book to listen to if you only have short times free--I found I needed a lot of time to reflect on what I'd listened to in each story.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Teresa
- 01-14-13
I'm not usually a sci-fi fan, but ...
If you could sum up Rip-Off! in three words, what would they be?
A fun read.
What other book might you compare Rip-Off! to and why?
Stephen King, when he goes deeper into sci fi.
Have you listened to any of the narrators’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Each story had different narrators, and yes, I'd heard some of them before. Can't remember who off hand.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No. I commute with it.
Any additional comments?
Some of the stories will stay with me forever. The one about the lady astronaut. And the one about what happened when God created the earth. Interesting heartfelt writing.
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- Qoheleth
- 07-23-19
I found most of the stories to be very good.
I enjoyed all of the performances. This was well worth the money. I originally got it for the John Scalzi story but his story, while good, was not the best in my opinion.
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- Rachel
- 02-28-21
Fantastic
Every one of these stories is compelling, though-provoking, insightful,and entertaining. Terrific read, I absolutely recommend.
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- Maggie B.
- 04-17-24
Great stories and good narrators
I skipped the story by Paul Difillipo. Far too crass for my ears. It just didn’t go with the rest of the book. It so did not belong. The rest were very entertaining.
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- JDR
- 01-07-13
A good collection of short stories.
If you could sum up Rip-Off! in three words, what would they be?
Interesting, funny, satisfying.
Let me explain, some of the stories are really great. They range from serious to silly, and I have to say that I enjoyed each of them. Some of them aren't as strong as the others, but that's to be expected with a short story collection from different authors. I'll admit that I got the book largely because of Scalzi's short story (which is good by the way) , but my favorite of the lot has to be "The Evening Line" by Mike Resnick. It was just so over the top that I caught myself laughing out loud every couple minutes. Definitely slapstick but what can I say, right on my level. "The Lady Astronaut" by Mary Robinette Kowal is also one of the better stories, quite touching to be honest. All of the stories were good, but I do think that only a couple of them will get re-listened too.
What other book might you compare Rip-Off! to and why?
Hmmm. Hard to say because it's a short story collection. There's something in here for everyone though.
What does the narrators bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
There are so many different narrators that it's hard to quantify. I will say that most of them do a fantastic job.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Nope, I preferred ti split it up by stories while walking the dog.
Any additional comments?
Nothing except to say that you should give it a try if you are at all interested in Short Stories. The ones here are pretty entertaining.
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15 people found this helpful
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- jacob
- 05-16-16
Clever concept, but hit or miss stories.
Any additional comments?
interesting collection of stories with some real brilliant tales and only a few so-so ones.
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9 people found this helpful