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Life isn’t bad for psychic Jolie Wilkins. True, she doesn’t have a love life to speak of, but she has a cute house in the suburbs of Los Angeles, a cat, and a quirky best friend. Enter Rand Balfour, a sinfully attractive warlock who insists she’s a witch and who just might turn her life upside down. Rand hires her to help him solve a mystery regarding the death of his client who also happens to be a ghost. Jolie not only uncovers the cause of the ghost’s demise but, in the process, she brings him back to life!
Dulcie O’Neil is a fairy. And not the type to frolic in gardens. She’s a Regulator - a law-enforcement agent who monitors the creatures of the Netherworld to keep them from wreaking havoc in the mortal world. When a warlock is murdered and Dulcie was the last person to see him alive, she must uncover the truth before she’s either deported back to the Netherworld, or she becomes the next victim. Enter Knight Vander, a sinfully attractive investigator sent from the Netherworld to work the case with Dulcie.
Grateful Knight isn’t looking for love when she moves into a rent-free house on the edge of a graveyard. At 22, all she wants is to recover financially so she can move back to the city where she belongs. But sparks fly when the gorgeous cemetery caretaker, Rick, introduces himself and mentions his suspicion that her new house might be haunted. Her attraction to him seems supernatural, and, despite her resolve to not get involved, she literally can’t keep her hands off him.
Looking for a fresh start, Peyton Clark becomes the proud owner of a piece of New Orleans history: an Antebellum-era two-story house in the Garden District. It’s going to take time and a fat wallet to restore the fixer-upper to its former glory, but after her recent divorce, Peyton could use the distraction. It’s not long before Peyton discovers she’s moved into the haunted home of a flirtatious paranormal prankster.
It's never a good day when an ancient demon shows up on your toilet bowl. For Lizzie Brown that's just the beginning. Soon her hyperactive terrier starts talking and her long-lost biker witch Grandma is hurling Smuckers jars filled with magic. Just when she thinks she's seen it all Lizzie learns she's a demon slayer-and all hell is after her. Of course that's not the only thing after her.
When the road forks, how do you know which path is the right one? Raven Black hunts evildoers for fun, but her vigilante justice isn't the only reason she's hiding from the law. Half vampire, half mage, she's spent years living as a rogue to stay alive. When a Russian shifter offers her a job in his covert organization hunting outlaws, dignity and a respectable career are finally within her grasp.
Life isn’t bad for psychic Jolie Wilkins. True, she doesn’t have a love life to speak of, but she has a cute house in the suburbs of Los Angeles, a cat, and a quirky best friend. Enter Rand Balfour, a sinfully attractive warlock who insists she’s a witch and who just might turn her life upside down. Rand hires her to help him solve a mystery regarding the death of his client who also happens to be a ghost. Jolie not only uncovers the cause of the ghost’s demise but, in the process, she brings him back to life!
Dulcie O’Neil is a fairy. And not the type to frolic in gardens. She’s a Regulator - a law-enforcement agent who monitors the creatures of the Netherworld to keep them from wreaking havoc in the mortal world. When a warlock is murdered and Dulcie was the last person to see him alive, she must uncover the truth before she’s either deported back to the Netherworld, or she becomes the next victim. Enter Knight Vander, a sinfully attractive investigator sent from the Netherworld to work the case with Dulcie.
Grateful Knight isn’t looking for love when she moves into a rent-free house on the edge of a graveyard. At 22, all she wants is to recover financially so she can move back to the city where she belongs. But sparks fly when the gorgeous cemetery caretaker, Rick, introduces himself and mentions his suspicion that her new house might be haunted. Her attraction to him seems supernatural, and, despite her resolve to not get involved, she literally can’t keep her hands off him.
Looking for a fresh start, Peyton Clark becomes the proud owner of a piece of New Orleans history: an Antebellum-era two-story house in the Garden District. It’s going to take time and a fat wallet to restore the fixer-upper to its former glory, but after her recent divorce, Peyton could use the distraction. It’s not long before Peyton discovers she’s moved into the haunted home of a flirtatious paranormal prankster.
It's never a good day when an ancient demon shows up on your toilet bowl. For Lizzie Brown that's just the beginning. Soon her hyperactive terrier starts talking and her long-lost biker witch Grandma is hurling Smuckers jars filled with magic. Just when she thinks she's seen it all Lizzie learns she's a demon slayer-and all hell is after her. Of course that's not the only thing after her.
When the road forks, how do you know which path is the right one? Raven Black hunts evildoers for fun, but her vigilante justice isn't the only reason she's hiding from the law. Half vampire, half mage, she's spent years living as a rogue to stay alive. When a Russian shifter offers her a job in his covert organization hunting outlaws, dignity and a respectable career are finally within her grasp.
Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.
Released from the magic pokey and paroled with limited power is enough to make any witch grumpy. However, if you throw in a recently resurrected cat, a lime-green Kia, and a sexy egotistical werewolf, it's enough to make a gal fly off the edge. Not to mention a mission...with no freaking directions. So here I sit in Asscrack, West Virginia, trying to figure out how to complete my mysterious mission before All Hallows Eve when I'll get turned into a mortal.
When empath Jade Calhoun moves into an apartment above a strip bar on Bourbon Street, she expects life to get interesting. What she doesn't count on is making friends with an exotic dancer, attracting a powerful spirit, and developing feelings for Kane, her sexy landlord. Being an empath has never been easy on Jade's relationships. It's no wonder she keeps her gift a secret. But when the ghost moves from spooking Jade to terrorizing Pyper, the dancer, it's up to Jade to use her unique ability to save her.
I thought this would be a simple profiling case. Just another Jack the Ripper wannabe, prowling London’s streets, searching for easy kills. I was wrong. This killer is fae, and he’s as elusive as smoke on the wind. But I’m an FBI profiler, and it’s my job to track him down. It doesn’t matter that one of the main suspects - a lethally alluring fae - is trying to seduce me...or kill me, I’m not sure which. I won’t be stopped, not even when panic roils through the streets of London or when the police start to suspect me.
Something has always been missing from my life. A hole that I could never seem to fill. When I accidentally turn a coven of witches into nightmares, I find out what that something is. Magic. And it turns out, I have a crap load of it. As a latent power awakens deep inside of me, I'm exposed to one of the most powerful and corrupt organizations in the magical world - the Mages' Guild. Barely knowing a spell from a few swear words and luck, I won't be able to evade them alone. And that's when I meet him.
Maybe it was the Shenanigans gift certificate that put her over the edge. When children's librarian and self-professed nice girl Jane Jameson is fired by her beastly boss and handed $25 in potato skins instead of a severance check, she goes on a bender that's sure to become Half Moon Hollow legend. On her way home, she's mistaken for a deer, shot, and left for dead.
Sloane Murphy thought hiking the Grand Canyon alone after graduation would be an awesome adventure. Until she slips and starts to plummet to her death. Then the unthinkable happens. She transforms into...a dragon. After flying to safety and trying to convince herself she isn’t having a mental breakdown, the hunters come for her. She runs, somehow managing to stay one step ahead of them. Until her luck runs out. Now the hunters have her, and they intend to kill, not capture.
Halloween LaVeau is descended from a long line of witches. Yes, her name is Halloween. The cosmic universe is definitely playing some kind of sick joke on her. She's the ultimate witch cliche, complete with a black cat and spooky house. Thank heavens she's missing the warts and flying broom. When Halloween inherits her great aunt's manor, she decides to put the house to good use as a bed and breakfast. Her first guest is the sinfully good-looking Nicolas Marcos, but he's not here for the continental breakfast.
Hadley Hunter has lived a normal life, in a normal suburb, with a normal job and a normal father. All that changes when a grandmother she didn’t even know existed dies and leaves her a fabulous lighthouse on Moonstone Bay Island. From the naked woman swimming in the ocean outside her back door to the hot sheriff who seems to be hiding a secret, Hadley is intrigued from the start. That’s before magical things start happening - including to Hadley - and a body washes up on the beach.
I knew the sins of my past would call to collect what was left of my soul. If I'd known the price I'd pay, I would've sacrificed more to stay hidden from the magic. In the middle of Wyoming - away from the abnormals of the world - I thought I was free and clear. I started a new life. Found a love I'd never known in a husband, and a son who was my everything. And in a blinding instant, that life was stolen from me.
Since the moment I was ripped from my mother's womb, I've been an outcast among my own kind. The Sidhe might possess magical Gifts, unbelievable wealth, and unfathomable power, but I don't want a thing to do with them. I ran away from their lands in the Highlands of Scotland when I was 11 years old, and I've never looked back. I don't need a clan. I've got my own family of highly skilled thieves who mean more to me than any Sidhe ever could.
After seeing her maybe-mobster boss murder a guy, Delaney James assumes a new identity and pretends to be a mail order bride. She finds her groom-to-be living in a town that celebrates Halloween every day. Weird. But not as weird as what she doesn't know. Her groom-to-be is a 400-year-old vampire.
From New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Urban Fantasy Romance Author, H.P. Mallory, comes The Lily Harper Series! If you like your books steamy (this is an adult fantasy romance, not for kids or teens!) and you aren’t easily offended by potty-mouthed, crass guardian angels, read on!
Better Off Dead is the first book in the Lily Harper urban fantasy series:
If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it. Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily’s death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees,) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch. Second, there’s angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn’t enough, Lily’s guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante’s “Inferno” and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily’s future isn’t looking bright.
Finally, there’s the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn’t trust Tallis, but she also can’t deny her attraction to him. Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what’s in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would’ve just been better off dead. To view the book trailer, visit: http://www.youtube.com/embed/cpDlXOdAv7sWant a sneak peek? Be sure to check out the “Look Inside This Book” feature at the top left of the page where you can preview the first three chapters!
This book was not for me. I started it because it was $1.99 after getting the free Kindle addition. I wish I would have stuck with just the free Kindle version. The lead character, Lily, was annoying and whiny. Bill was vulgar and obnoxious. The dialogue was anything but funny. The plot made me roll my eyes several times. I don't have any thing good to say about this book.
4 of 4 people found this review helpful
I had already read the electronic version of the book but decided to get the audible version to refresh my memory before the second book of the series was published.
This story is a fun new series from HP Mallory and has many fantastic characters as well as a very fresh and interesting premise. Lily Harper is killed but has the option to be reborn with a new life, a new body and a new job - to rescue souls wrongfully sent to the Underground City. In this story she has little time to struggle with the loss of her life and her family because she is immediately sent on a mission that might cut this new life short before it even begins.
I have to say that some of the funnier moments were a bit lost when I listened to it, because the narration simply didn't capture the male characters. This didn't stop me from listening to it, and it wouldn't stop me from recommending it either, but if you are considering reading the book (and not listening to it) I would go with that. This is just one of those times when the voices in your head might be the better option!
4 of 4 people found this review helpful
Is there anything you would change about this book?
The pacing. Six hours into the book they still hadn't left on their first mission.
If you’ve listened to books by H. P. Mallory before, how does this one compare?
This was my first by this author.
What didn’t you like about Betsy Hogg’s performance?
Everything. There were numerous pronunciation errors. For example, the word lichen is not pronounced "Leech-en". Ugh! It drove me crazy!! Also, you could hear every time Betsy Hogg swallowed. Both of these issues ruined the listening experience for me.
Was Better Off Dead worth the listening time?
The story wasn't good enough to balance out the low production value of this audiobook.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
Less junior high name calling like "douche faces", "arch douche" and "ask hole".
What do you think your next listen will be?
I used to love HP Mallory books, but they just keep getting worse. This is my last attempt to read one of her books.
What three words best describe Betsy Hogg’s voice?
Like a teenager.
What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?
Bill the Angel
Any additional comments?
I feel like I have less brain cells now.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
What would have made Better Off Dead better?
The first thing would be a new narrator. The story took forever to move forward. The story has them go on their first mission and it takes forever for them to set off on that mission.
How did the narrator detract from the book?
The way she mispronounces words is very annoying. She also does horrible voices for the men.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful
The choice of narrator for this series is just wrong, in every way! I would have ordered the next book in the series, but I see that it has the same person narrating. I will order the book & read it myself before subjecting myself to hours of having to listen to Betsy Hogg trying to do so many voices so poorly again!
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
I like H.P. Mallory but sadly this book was not worth the download. It was long and drawn out, I hated the way Bill was written and read. . .I feel like I should get my money back for this one. I don't recommend it but it's on you to read or not. My opinion DON'T BORHER
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
What disappointed you about Better Off Dead?
The first part of the book was great. It was an interesting story. I liked the main character and then the guardian angel showed up. Crude, rude, nasty, foul language and on and on every time he said anything.Some of that in a novel is ok and it adds a needed element to the story, but enough is enough and this had WAY too much.
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Better Off Dead?
I would have totally cut the guardian angel from the whole book.
Any additional comments?
I didn't finish this one and will not continue with the series. I've read or listened to other books by this author and enjoyed them. This one was just not worth it.
2 of 3 people found this review helpful
I like the interaction between Lilly and Conan. Angel Bill is just too sophomoric. His supposed funny talk is just dumb and demeaning to women.
I listened to the audio version. This is the first narrator I have really disliked. Her voice is too childlike.
What would have made Better Off Dead better?
A different narrator, for starters.
What could H. P. Mallory have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
Cut Bill the Angel completely out of the story. His only contributions to the story are stupid, junior high type comments usually including some form of "douche". He grates on your nerves - if he's supposed to be funny, he's not. Just a series of frequent annoying comments and selfish acts.
What didn’t you like about Betsy Hogg’s performance?
She does not know how to pronounce many words, but the worst is sword, half of the time saying it correctly and the other half saying "sahward". Her male voices are pitiful. She makes the lead character too whiny.
What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?
Bill the Angel. He's annoying and serves no purpose.
Any additional comments?
This book is really, really bad. The characters are shallow and are made more so by horrid narration. Mallory's earlier works are much better. I couldn't finish this one, so maybe it redeems itself in the end, but after about six hours I can't take anymore.
I normally love HP Mallory but this book was destroyed by the narrator to the point that I could not find one ghost of a reason to continue past the first few chapters.
If the narrator's grating accent and nasal tone isn't enough to have you yawning with boredom, her impression of Bill is predictable and pedestrian. Listening to her was like listening to a 3rd grader read aloud. She pauses in the middle of phrases, her voice seems tired and strained 80% percent of the time and the only thing she was able to pull off we'll always the imitation satnav voice in the Audi. Ironically, listening to this story was about as entertaining as listening to street directions so there you go. And there I went. Sorry HP but this one sucked and I can't bear your narrator's voice to find out if your story picks up.
Waste of a credit.
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
It kept me occupied while driving to & from work but so would have any book.
What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
When it ended all I could think, 'is that it?'.
Do you think Better Off Dead needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
There is a follow up book, but I doubt I will be continuing on.
Any additional comments?
The story was ok but never really grabbed me.I don't know if it was the written slang of the character Bill or just the voice the narrator was using, but was getting annoyed & over it halfway through. The story never really picked up steam or had any big moment. Lily could have been a good character but hard to really get to know her. She dies & gets to pick her new body & spends the book mooning over why the cute blade smith doesn't seem to be attracted to her. I wont be continue with this series. This book seems like it was to set the universe for the series, but was not exciting introduction.
At first I thought it would be boring but as I listened on i got hooked on the story, it's a simple plot about Lily a dead girl's soul in the after life because she died as a result of her guardian angels neglect. Enters the said guardian angel Bill who is loud, obnoxious and vulgar but has funny moments. The only thing I don't like is the voice of the narrator imitation of a scotsman which is cringe worthy, but all in all the story has potential:)