Better Off Dead

By: H. P. Mallory

Narrated by: Betsy Hogg

Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins

Publisher's Summary

From New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Urban Fantasy Romance Author, H.P. Mallory, comes The Lily Harper Series! If you like your books steamy (this is an adult fantasy romance, not for kids or teens!) and you aren’t easily offended by potty-mouthed, crass guardian angels, read on!

Better Off Dead is the first book in the Lily Harper urban fantasy series:

If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it. Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily’s death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees,) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch. Second, there’s angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn’t enough, Lily’s guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante’s “Inferno” and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily’s future isn’t looking bright.

Finally, there’s the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn’t trust Tallis, but she also can’t deny her attraction to him. Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what’s in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would’ve just been better off dead. To view the book trailer, visit: http://www.youtube.com/embed/cpDlXOdAv7sWant a sneak peek? Be sure to check out the “Look Inside This Book” feature at the top left of the page where you can preview the first three chapters!

©2013 H.P. Mallory (P)2013 Audible Inc.

Critic Reviews

“H.P. Mallory has a quick wit, a fresh voice, and a clever way with words. If you like Charlaine Harris, you’ll love H.P. Mallory!” (Larissa Ione, New York Times Bestselling Fantasy Romance Author)

Better Off Dead

This book was not for me. I started it because it was $1.99 after getting the free Kindle addition. I wish I would have stuck with just the free Kindle version. The lead character, Lily, was annoying and whiny. Bill was vulgar and obnoxious. The dialogue was anything but funny. The plot made me roll my eyes several times. I don't have any thing good to say about this book.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

Nice listen, fun story

I had already read the electronic version of the book but decided to get the audible version to refresh my memory before the second book of the series was published.

This story is a fun new series from HP Mallory and has many fantastic characters as well as a very fresh and interesting premise. Lily Harper is killed but has the option to be reborn with a new life, a new body and a new job - to rescue souls wrongfully sent to the Underground City. In this story she has little time to struggle with the loss of her life and her family because she is immediately sent on a mission that might cut this new life short before it even begins.

I have to say that some of the funnier moments were a bit lost when I listened to it, because the narration simply didn't capture the male characters. This didn't stop me from listening to it, and it wouldn't stop me from recommending it either, but if you are considering reading the book (and not listening to it) I would go with that. This is just one of those times when the voices in your head might be the better option!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

Low Production Value

Is there anything you would change about this book?

The pacing. Six hours into the book they still hadn't left on their first mission.

If you’ve listened to books by H. P. Mallory before, how does this one compare?

This was my first by this author.

What didn’t you like about Betsy Hogg’s performance?

Everything. There were numerous pronunciation errors. For example, the word lichen is not pronounced "Leech-en". Ugh! It drove me crazy!! Also, you could hear every time Betsy Hogg swallowed. Both of these issues ruined the listening experience for me.

Was Better Off Dead worth the listening time?

The story wasn't good enough to balance out the low production value of this audiobook.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

written for 15 year old boys

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

Less junior high name calling like "douche faces", "arch douche" and "ask hole".

What do you think your next listen will be?

I used to love HP Mallory books, but they just keep getting worse. This is my last attempt to read one of her books.

What three words best describe Betsy Hogg’s voice?

Like a teenager.

What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?

Bill the Angel

Any additional comments?

I feel like I have less brain cells now.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

PLEASE get another narrator befor the next book!

What would have made Better Off Dead better?

The first thing would be a new narrator. The story took forever to move forward. The story has them go on their first mission and it takes forever for them to set off on that mission.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

The way she mispronounces words is very annoying. She also does horrible voices for the men.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

Good book...bad narrator.

The choice of narrator for this series is just wrong, in every way! I would have ordered the next book in the series, but I see that it has the same person narrating. I will order the book & read it myself before subjecting myself to hours of having to listen to Betsy Hogg trying to do so many voices so poorly again!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

I don't need to read book 2

I like H.P. Mallory but sadly this book was not worth the download. It was long and drawn out, I hated the way Bill was written and read. . .I feel like I should get my money back for this one. I don't recommend it but it's on you to read or not. My opinion DON'T BORHER

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

No!

What disappointed you about Better Off Dead?

The first part of the book was great. It was an interesting story. I liked the main character and then the guardian angel showed up. Crude, rude, nasty, foul language and on and on every time he said anything.Some of that in a novel is ok and it adds a needed element to the story, but enough is enough and this had WAY too much.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Better Off Dead?

I would have totally cut the guardian angel from the whole book.

Any additional comments?

I didn't finish this one and will not continue with the series. I've read or listened to other books by this author and enjoyed them. This one was just not worth it.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

Has possibilities, but sabotaged itself

I like the interaction between Lilly and Conan. Angel Bill is just too sophomoric. His supposed funny talk is just dumb and demeaning to women.
I listened to the audio version. This is the first narrator I have really disliked. Her voice is too childlike.

Better Off Buried Somewhere

What would have made Better Off Dead better?

A different narrator, for starters.

What could H. P. Mallory have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Cut Bill the Angel completely out of the story. His only contributions to the story are stupid, junior high type comments usually including some form of "douche". He grates on your nerves - if he's supposed to be funny, he's not. Just a series of frequent annoying comments and selfish acts.

What didn’t you like about Betsy Hogg’s performance?

She does not know how to pronounce many words, but the worst is sword, half of the time saying it correctly and the other half saying "sahward". Her male voices are pitiful. She makes the lead character too whiny.

What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?

Bill the Angel. He's annoying and serves no purpose.

Any additional comments?

This book is really, really bad. The characters are shallow and are made more so by horrid narration. Mallory's earlier works are much better. I couldn't finish this one, so maybe it redeems itself in the end, but after about six hours I can't take anymore.