Safe

An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships

De: Jessica Baum LMHC

Narrado por: Jessica Baum LMHC

A guide to fostering more security, intimacy, and peace in our relationships, and in ourselves, by the author of Anxiously Attached

The topic of attachment theory has never been hotter. The hashtag #attachmentstyle has appeared more than a billion times on social media—but going beyond simple types to uncover how you developed your unique attachment patterns and why you relate to others as you do is where the deepest insights can be revealed. In this empathic and practical guide, therapist Jessica Baum sheds light on the unprocessed attachment wounds that cause us to live in survival mode—and offers a roadmap for building safe relationships that can become the foundation for true healing.

You’ll discover what fulfilling, joyful, secure love feels like and how to cultivate it using simple techniques that will help you move from “fight or flight” mode to a place of trust, fulfillment, and true closeness with the people you care about most.

Drawing on the brain science behind why we tend to repeat old, painful patterns, therapist Jessica Baum shows you how to move toward relationships that provide the deeper connection, safety, and trust we all long for, in every area of our lives.

Reseñas de la Crítica

“Safe is a masterful integration of neuroscience, attachment theory, and real-world healing. Jessica Baum bridges clinical insight with deep compassion, offering readers a roadmap for transforming the way they relate to themselves and others.”
--Julie Menanno, author of Secure Love


“Reading Safe felt like sitting down with a wise, compassionate friend who understands the ache of disconnection and the beauty of repair. Jessica Baum has written a roadmap for anyone yearning to feel secure, seen, and safe in their relationships.”
--Mark Groves, Human Connection Specialist and coauthor of Liberated Love


“A thorough and readable presentation that locates the context of wounding and healing in the ‘space-between’….We strongly recommend this WONDERFUL book to therapists and everyone who want a clear analysis of the relational dynamics of the healing journey and a clear path to achieving it.”
--Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, coauthors of Getting the Love You Want and Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space Between


“Jessica Baum blends attachment science with deep compassion to create a practical guide for nervous system healing. Safe is a must-read for anyone who struggles to feel secure in relationships or is overwhelmed by their own emotions. It offers both insight and relief, using tools grounded in polyvagal theory and neurobiology. Safe provides real strategies—not just theory.”
--Terri Cole, psychotherapist, author of Boundary Boss and Too Much, and host of The Terri Cole Show


“Relationships challenge us to our core, and yet they are the foundation of our humanity. Safe breathes love and understanding as we meet ourselves and our limitations with curiosity and compassion, and ultimately move toward becoming secure.”
--Sheleana Aiyana, founder of Rising Woman


“What makes Safe so powerful is its gentle depth. Jessica Baum invites us to hold our protective patterns with reverence while guiding us toward true connection. This is attachment work for people ready to reclaim their story — and their worth.”
--Dr. Ingrid Clayton, author of Fawning


“As a couples therapist, SAFE is the book I want to give my clients who struggle to feel secure in their relationships again and again. Jessica Baum makes complex attachment patterns feel not only understandable but changeable.”
--Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, author of 'Til Stress Do Us Part and I Want This to Work

Brain studies

Jessica is my anchor, my healer. This book is very informative with science and studies from brain to traumas. This book is a must buy. I recommend reading both of Jessicas books on attachment and this one. Many thanks to Jessica for sharing her personal experiences and being our top healer.

Grounded in science, touched by intimate stories and lifted with tangible methods to practice

At first, a glimmer of hope from my despair, I’m not broken, I just need some repair. And then upon finishing the book and reflections, this is my framework to follow on my path to healing. It’s up to me, but without Jessica’s insights, I’d still be quite lost.

Author Jessica weaves in her personal journey with stories of her patients through the years and provides tangible tools, mediation methods throughout….truly feels like my handbook to realization that I’m not crazy, I just need healing.

Face value, her calm voice. What stood out the most is her personal experience coupled with her patients journeys she’s treated, sprinkled with real life scientific data and scientists names. There’s spots she pauses to have the reader reflect and she also has guided meditations that help you tangibly put into action what you just read. I finished the whole book and am starting from the beginning again. It’s like a positive affirmation on steroids, meaning, this book feels like a treasure I have found and I am so grateful to Jessica for sharing her story, journey and path to healing so that we may also one day join her on that path.

Verbiage that’s healing and not shaming

Well, articulated, thoughtful, and kind verbiage/tone. Many real life, examples backed by data and easy to follow exercises. Excellent explanation of attachment styles and right vs left brain differences.

Inaccurate Neuroscience, Good Break Down of Therapeutic Healing

I wanted to love this book because the topic of attachment and relational healing is incredibly important. There are many compassionate insights throughout, and I appreciate the author’s emphasis on healing through safe relationships.

However, I found myself repeatedly distracted by the neuroscience presented in the book. The explanation that the “left brain is logical” and the “right brain is emotional” reflects a popular neuroscience myth that has been substantially oversimplified and challenged by modern research. Complex processes such as emotion regulation, reasoning, attachment, and social connection rely on distributed brain networks involving both hemispheres, not one side of the brain versus the other.

As someone who values evidence-based psychology and neuroscience, I found it difficult to fully trust the scientific explanations after encountering these inaccuracies. Throughout the book, I found myself constantly translating the left-brain/right-brain framework into a more accurate understanding of the nervous system—thinking instead in terms of survival versus connection, or protection versus regulation. That mental translation became highly distracting and sometimes pulled me away from the author’s core message.

That said, once I mentally set aside the outdated neuroscience, I found Jessica’s therapeutic explanations to be genuinely helpful. She has a gift for breaking down complex relational patterns into concepts that are easy to understand and apply. Her descriptions of attachment dynamics, emotional experiences, and healing through relationships are compassionate, accessible, and often insightful. I just wish those therapeutic ideas had been explained using contemporary neuroscience, because I believe they would have been even more compelling and credible.

Overall, I found the book thoughtful and emotionally meaningful, even though I believe the neuroscience is outdated. Readers who are familiar with current brain science may find themselves needing to separate the therapeutic wisdom from the neuroscientific explanations, but I still found value in the book’s practical approach to understanding attachment and healing.

Relatable and Grounding Work

Jessica Baum is wonderfully vulnerable, making this book feel warm and relatable. The exercises are powerful. It has helped me slow down, reflect, and connect with a sense of safety in myself!