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Processed Cheese
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 13 hrs and 48 mins
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Publisher's Summary
From an "astonishing" writer (Toni Morrison), the savagely funny story of a couple who unexpectedly come into some money in a wealth-obsessed America deranged by Mammon.
A bag of money drops out of the sky, literally, into the path of a cash-starved citizen named Graveyard. He carries it home to his wife, Ambience, and they embark on the adventure of their lives, finally able to have everything they've always thought they deserved: cars, guns, games, jewels, clothes - and of course sex, travel, and time with friends and family. There is no limit except their imagination and the hours in the day, and even those seem to be subject to their control. Of course, the owner of the bag is searching for it, and will do whatever is necessary to get it back. And, of course, these new riches change everything - and nothing at all.
Darkly hilarious, Processed Cheese is both satire and serious as death. It's a road novel, a family story, and a last-girl-standing thriller of once-in-a-generation vitality and inventiveness. With the clarity of a Swift or a Melville, Wright has created a funhouse-mirror drama that puts all the chips on the table and every bullet in the clip, down to the last breathtaking moment.
Critic Reviews
"Processed Cheese does for consumerism what Catch-22 did for war." (Stephen King, best-selling author of IT and The Shining)
"In novel after unsparing novel - each one gorgeous, too, and full of awe - Stephen Wright has emerged as a kind of modern-day Socrates hectoring a complacent citizenry to have a good hard look at its collective delusions. With Processed Cheese, he's written a novel so outrageous and diagnostic of our current ills, it will prove much stronger than hemlock. If you hope to keep up your venality, America, your cruelties, and your death wish, better string this court jester up by his toes." (Joshua Ferris, author of The Dinner Party)
"This dark, harrowing, and wildly funny novel somehow both challenges and affirms that tried-and-true adage: Money isn't everything." (Kirkus)
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What listeners say about Processed Cheese
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- trog
- 02-12-20
Lines were crossed...he went too far!
I really wanted to like this. The Publisher's Summary is what drew me in, but by the time I got to chapter 7, I was ready to throw my phone across room. I like a good Dr. Seuss story, but I draw the line at Thomas Pynchon!
T
2 people found this helpful
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- Charles Mintz
- 02-02-20
Charming at first
Comical naming is charming as the start is set up. Then characters keep showing up and you struggle to keep track and the story gets lost. I rarely get this far into a book, realize that the further I get, the more confused I was. Why finish?
2 people found this helpful
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- J. Nelson
- 03-20-23
Meh
The work of a clever porn-nurtured high School sophomore. I am under whelmed. thanks
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Story
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Lead Me Back
- By: CD Reiss
- Narrated by: Emma Wilder, Joe Arden
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Cutting all ties, Kayla Montgomery drives cross-country to Los Angeles. New start. New life. And an unexpected new job: assistant to Justin Beckett. The Justin Beckett. The boy band rebel with the cocky attitude and dreamy bed head who casts a spell over his fans and tests the patience of his handlers. Now at the peak of Mount Adulthood, he has to build a clean-cut, movie star image. It’s in his contract. No partying. No attitude. No groupies. To tie it together, he needs a normal girl. Suddenly, Kayla’s swept up in Justin’s glamorous world, and his arms.
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3.5 ⭐️.. ENTERTAINING & ENJOYABLE
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 07-09-20
By: CD Reiss
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The Same Breath
- The Lamb and the Lion, Book 1
- By: Gregory Ashe
- Narrated by: J.F. Harding
- Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Teancum Leon, who goes by Tean, is a wildlife veterinarian. His life has settled into a holding pattern: He loves his job, he hates first dates, and he only occasionally has to deal with his neighbor Mrs. Wish’s cat-related disasters. All of that changes, though, when a man appears in his office, asking for help to find his brother. Jem is convinced that something bad has happened to Benny, and he thinks Tean might be able to help. Tean isn’t sure, but he’s willing to try. After all, Jem is charming and sweet and surprisingly vulnerable. Oh. And hot.
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Goshdarnit
- By Alicia Z. Ramos on 02-21-21
By: Gregory Ashe
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The Big Door Prize
- By: M. O. Walsh
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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What would you do if you knew your life's potential? That's the question facing the residents of Deerfield, Louisiana, when the DNAMIX machine appears in their local grocery store. It's nothing to look at, really—it resembles a plain photo booth. But its promise is amazing: With just a quick swab of your cheek and two dollars, the device claims to use the science of DNA to tell you your life's potential. With enough credibility to make the townspeople curious, soon the former teachers, nurses, and shopkeepers of Deerfield are abruptly changing course to pursue their destinies.
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Such a let down
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-22
By: M. O. Walsh
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Indirection
- Borealis: Without a Compass, Book 1
- By: Gregory Ashe
- Narrated by: Charlie David
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Shaw Aldrich and his best friend, boyfriend, and partner, North McKinney, are doing great, thanks. The aftermath of their search for the Slasher has finally settled down. Their private investigation agency is thriving. And after years of missed opportunities, they’re finally together. Sure, work might be taking up every spare minute, and their time together as a couple might have evaporated - but that’s normal, right?
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Shaw is so precious
- By Sadie G on 05-22-21
By: Gregory Ashe
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Family Honor
- A Sunny Randall Novel
- By: Robert B. Parker
- Narrated by: Andrea Thompson
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Hired by a wealthy family to locate their teenage daughter, Sunny Randall, a former cop turned Boston P.I., soon finds herself the bodyguard for a difficult teenager who refuses to return to her family. But before long, Sunny is facing greater problems than she ever imagined including a criminal conspiracy that reaches to the top of the state government.
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Good detective yarn
- By Thomas More on 08-25-13
By: Robert B. Parker
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Point B
- A Teleportation Love Story
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Rebecca Soler
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
When the corporate monolith PortSys brought porting to the masses, CEO Emilia Kirsch and her son, Jason, accomplished what every other start-up company had failed to deliver. They really did change the world. They reversed climate change. They created a multitrillion-dollar industry out of thin air, curing economic woes across the globe. They made it so that anyone could be anywhere simply by touching a screen...including the man who murdered Sarah Huff. Now, Sarah’s 17-year-old sister, Anna, is determined to hunt the bastard down. But there are a few problems.
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Sherry Potter’s only got one spell: portkey
- By aaron gilbert on 11-02-20
By: Drew Magary
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Save Me from Dangerous Men
- A Novel (Nikki Griffin, Book 1)
- By: S. A. Lelchuk
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Nikki Griffin isn't your typical private investigator. In her office above her bookstore’s shelves and stacks, where she luxuriates in books and the comfort they provide, she also tracks certain men. Dangerous men. Men who have hurt the women they claim to love. When a regular PI job tailing Karen, a tech company's disgruntled employee who might be selling secrets, turns ugly and Karen's life is threatened, Nikki has to break cover and intervene.
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Fast and Fun with Great Narration...
- By shelley on 03-24-19
By: S. A. Lelchuk
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Cul-de-sac
- A Novel
- By: Joy Fielding
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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A shooting lays bare the secrets harbored by five families in a sleepy suburban cul-de-sac in this riveting psychological thriller from the New York Times best-selling author of All the Wrong Places.
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I rarely give a book 5 stars...
- By Blue sky on 08-14-21
By: Joy Fielding
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Black Is My Heart
- Blackwood Security, Book 0.5
- By: Elise Noble
- Narrated by: Sarah Kempton
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Finding dirt on politicians is usually easy, but Congressman Clements is more careful than most. Never one to back away from a challenge, devious Diamond enlists her old friend Snow in a scheme to catch their target in a compromising position. But the world of espionage rarely runs smoothly, and Diamond soon finds herself stuck in a tight spot. Can she save the job as well as fight her feelings for the man she loves?
By: Elise Noble
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Hello Girls
- By: Brittany Cavallaro, Emily Henry
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Thelma and Louise gets remade in this powerful, darkly funny teen novel from acclaimed authors Brittany Cavallaro and Emily Henry. Two teenage girls who have had enough of the controlling men in their lives take their rage on the road to make a new life for themselves.
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Wow
- By Phoenix on 08-06-19
By: Brittany Cavallaro, and others
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The Last Refuge
- By: Chris Knopf
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Sam Acquillo is at the end of the line: he's a middle-aged corporate dropout living in a ramshackle cottage in Southampton's North Sea. But then the old lady next door ends up floating dead in her bathtub, and it seems that Sam is the only one who wonders why.
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A hero who doesn't work and play well with others.
- By Cholmondeley on 04-04-13
By: Chris Knopf
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The Last Place You Look
- By: Kristen Lepionka
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Nobody knows what happened to Sarah Cook. The beautiful blonde teenager disappeared 15 years ago, the same night her parents were brutally murdered in their suburban Ohio home. Her boyfriend, Brad Stockton - black and from the wrong side of the tracks - was convicted of the murders and is now on death row. Though he's maintained his innocence all along, the clock is running out. His execution is only weeks away when his devoted sister insists she spied Sarah at an area gas station.