Occupational Hazards: The Blue-Collar Omnibus

By: Geoff Sturtevant

Narrated by: John McLain, Jonathan Sleep, Steven Jay Cohen, Paul J. McSorley, Ramon de Ocampo, Geoff Sturtevant

Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins

Publisher's summary

Winner of the 2018 ABR Listeners Choice Award for best in humor!

A collection of absurdist and thought-provoking stories from the author's Return to the Dirt, Just Speculating, and more, including unreleased, exclusive, audio-only content! Performed by a cast of award-winning and Audie® nominated narrators. Fans of the macabre, dark humor, and cerebral
thrillers are guaranteed a good listen.

Occupational Hazards is an unflinching ride through the absurdity of it all. Existentialism, absurdism, and outlandish humor merge with ordinary, workaday life for a truly unique perspective of the human experience. Not recommended for the faint of heart or easily offended. But if meaty stories are what you're after....

We hope you're hungry.

©2017 Geoff Sturtevant (P)2017 Geoff Sturtevant

Critic reviews

"There is something fresh and crazy here, and that is difficult to find." (audiobookreviewer.com)

Cute funny and over the top fun listen

Any additional comments?

5 Stars (a mix of 4 and 5 Stars rounding up)

Jar Baby -John McLain (Narrator)
I laughed myself silly from baby in the jar to the, redneck hillbilly and his ways just too dang funny. “I’ll be dipped in S*** “ has become my favorite new saying. I thought I would die laughing at how he talked about his wife, the TV and new laptop. His wife is something else as they bring you laugh after laugh I bet you won’t be able to stop listening. The ending is to die for just too funny. The narrator did an outstanding job, loved his character voices he really had the characters down to a T. I plan to listen to this one again.


The Relativist - Jonathan Sleep (Narrator)
I didn’t care for this one it is about Chinese people and how they cook, what their secrets are. The narrator never did sound Chinese which really took away from the story. The narrator wasn’t bad his character voice just didn’t fit this story.


Anything For My Bubela - Steven Jay Cohen (Narrator)
A man owes a lot of money and mother is beside herself. Just how could her dear son do this to her? Funny, cute as the author spins a delightful tale of mother, son and the wrong people to owe money to. I laughed so much through this. Dear sweet mama is something else and so very surprising.The narration was wonderful I loved his character voices they really fit the character and pull you in. I had no trouble picturing each scene as it unfolded. The narrator really puts a lot of emotion into this audio. I just loved it and plan to listen to this one again.


The Organization - Paul J. McSorley (Narrator)
This is about an old folks home and what happens to them as a delivery man looks on in horror. It’s full of surprises you won’t see coming. A great twist that is shocking but at times funny once you get over the horror of it. The narration was great, wonderful male and female voices that fit each character. The emotion for each character was outstanding.


Anchors Away – Geoff Sturtevant (Author, Narrator)
This is not listened on the title page but it is a short story about a sailor, his voyage and letting his so call anchor fly. That is about all I can say about it without giving it away. The author is also the narrator in this story. He does a wonderful job of narration from his character voices to his sound effects they are outstanding. I do wish it has been a little longer about the time you get into the story it is over. A fun listen that holds your attention.


The Technicians - Ramon de Ocampo (Narrator)
There is a lesson in this DO NOT put off tomorrow what you can and should have done today you never know when it might be too late. These men get very high pay for doing their job but if you mess up as one did you might be done. The story is based around two techs that do their job with pride, as you will come to see the jobs they do aren’t something most of us would like to do or enjoy doing. I saw the ending coming just as it unfolds and my heart went out to one of these men. The narration was great, the characters voices were great. I loved the accent, and the emotions given to each character. I could hear the emotion in their voice when a job goes bad or even went good.


Night Fright - Ramon de Ocampo (Narrator)
I sure didn’t see that coming. When fantasy meets reality you just have to go with the flow and do what comes natural. New neighbor moves in all the ladies want to meet up with him that is all but one which is the kid next door that lets his mind go wild. With the man’s night light the kid is looking at it closely maybe a little too close. It really does become a frightful night. The narration is good, the character voices are good and the author and narrator really pulls you in.


My Best customer - Paul J. McSorley (Narrator)
I will never look at delivery man the same again, well I never looked at them this way. Ok there are some very cute ones out there. Some are true hunks but I would never think about taking it to this level. This is so wrong in so many ways. The lesson between these pages is be careful, be very careful what you say you just might think you are saying something wonderful when in fact you just might have said something you will spend the rest of your life wishing you had not. I really liked this story but it is a little out there. I doubt (I would say I am sure but you just never know about people) this would ever happen. The narration is great, there were times I thought maybe some yelling should have been done but the narrator really does pull you in. He does give emotion and for the most part it is really good. I thought he did a good job. Cute and at times very funny.


Return to The Dirt - Paul J. McSorley (Narrator)
This story is about the making of bologna but it has a weird name I can’t remember. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like the stuff and I will never eat it again lol. Here you have three people who come together at a new job. They never really had a job or really want one. They are both unique in their own way. One day after taking part in what they enjoy doing, something happens that will change the life of all three of them. There is a part that I just looked on in shock as I picture the scene before my eyes. Let me tell you it isn’t one I will forget for a long time to come. Most likely I will remember this story each time I past the bologna at the store or any time anyone talks about this food. The narration was great the narrator really pulls you from so many points. His character voices are outstanding and fit the characters.


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I loved all the narrators in this box-set with the exception of The Relativist. The voice does not go with the characters and the music is way too loud at the beginning of each chapter. It is so loud you can barely hear what the narrator is saying. As for the rest of the box-set the music goes very well and blends well throughout the stories. There are not any background noises in any of the stories, if any breaks were taken I could not tell. I thought the performance for all of them but the one was outstanding, the character voices were great and I totally loved their narration. I would love to listen to more of the five narrators that I like. It was a pleasure listening to them. I loved the accents, as well as the female and male voices. I had no trouble knowing who was talking or what they were feeling. This was a very clean and clear audio that I really enjoyed.


The author is something else I have to say my favorite in this set is Jar Baby and Anything For My Bubela. Each story is unique, interesting and really pulls the reader in. I found the stories to be delightful, fun and shocking along with thrilling. I laughed, chuckled and felt sorry for a few. I sure hope my job never turns out like these did. I have never read anything by this author and look forward to listening to more of his audio and read more of his books.

Humorous, Dark, Quirky, and Fantastic

What did you love best about Occupational Hazards: The Blue-Collar Omnibus?

In this world where we are too often caught up in being politically correct, along comes The Blue-Collar Omnibus ... and you find yourself whisked away with these darkly humorous and keenly observant stories about the less pretty side of humanity.

What does the narrators bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

All of the narrators are fantastic. Jonathan Sleep is outrageous in his perfomance of The Relativist. Yes, it's off-color, but man ... I was dying when I listened to it, in a good way. I thought that his voice was perfect for the characters.

Jay Cohen = Fantastic, in Bubela. I'd read this already and really enjoyed listening to it this time. Again, perfect voice for the characters.

The surprise addition of a story read by the author himself was excellent! Sturtevant did a great job with the voices and is a narrating force in his own right.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Of course!

Any additional comments?

I really enjoyed it. I already knew the author was a good writer, but this has become one of my favorite audiobooks. A fantastic assortment of stories and performers.

Twisted Humor

Occupational Hazards is a collection of twisted short stories that are sure to make you laugh! They can be a little gory and do contain language not suitable for a younger audience, especially the first story! Jar Baby was the first story in the series and it literally had me laughing out loud, and did all of the other stories. Jar Baby was definitely my favorite! The narrators we're absolutely perfect for each of the stories. Great stories by Geoff Sturdevant and definitely a great selection of narrators! If you love twisted humor, you will love this book!

Amazing collection from an author like no other

I loved this so much! I listened to all eleven hours of this book and am diving back in to start it again. the writing is flawless and brings the characters to life in only a way that Geoff can

I think the author needs a psychiatrist!

Imagine your sweet grandma stabbing someone in the face with the menorah, then imagine your sweet grandma fighting in the terror down with chainsaws on the ends of her hands, then imagine your great southern uncle finds a pickle baby the grants wishes this is just the beginning of this book the many stores in this book do not disappoint. Not one of the stories we’re boring they all made me laugh out loud. I even find myself recalling something in the story and laughing again. This was so worth it I loved it so much that tonight me and my husband are going to listen because it Cellarius. What a great book! And it’s so perfect they have different stories that you can read and stop and read again I myself read the whole thing because yes I loved it!

Quirky strange funny stories

Wild strange stories that will keep you interested. Narration is excellent sounds like the real thing. I am making sure there never any stains on my shirt or eating bologna from that company

Occupational Hazard

Any additional comments?

This audiobook is at times funny and at times dark. Although I did not like some of the verbiage, I hope other people would like it.

What Unexpected Twist after another

Holy cow. From a baby in a jar to a modern day "pirate", each story started off with an unusual idea and kept you guessing right to the end. Sometimes you were nervous, sometimes you were laughing your head off. Very original and very entertaining. This book has more than earned it's five stars :)

The narrator also did a great job, Seamlessly placed himself in each story, helping the reader fall into the story completely. A real professional.

Short stories for those of us with dark minds...

Occupational Hazards: The Blue-Collar Omnibus by Geoff Sturtevant and narrated by John McLain, Jonathan Sleep, Steven Jay Cohen, Paul J. McSorley, Ramon de Ocampo, & Geoff Sturtevant might just be some of the craziest short stories I’ve ever listened to, but all in a good way. Would definitely recommend.

Some will have you thinking what if, while some will have you chortling out loud, and some will have you saying wtf is this author on...I guarantee you will enjoy these stories if you like odd and offbeat fiction that have a hint of real life to them. The introduction talks about forbidden thinking and no filter- heed the warning in the summary that states not for the faint of heart or easily offended- all of this is true. Some of the stories even had my s.o. laughing when he came into the room I was listening in.

Repeat themes throughout are: death, work, and the extremes people are willing to go to. I’m sure there’s plenty more, but these are what stuck out to me. Some have added sound effects, such as a phone ringing. The stories are separated by music with the title and you should have no difficulty knowing when a new one begins.

~A brief description of the stories~
1) Jar Baby- Be careful what you wish for. Approximately 1 hour 34 minutes.
2) The Relativist- The secrets of Chinese cooking and then some. Approximately 1 hour 19 minutes.
3) Anything For My Bubala- What some mothers will do for their child (mafia themed). Approximately 1 hour 21 minutes.
4) The Organization- What happens when you combine the elderly, former presidents, and the government. Approximately 1 hour 25 minutes.
5) Anchors Away- A sailor and his anchor...and barnacle balls. Approximately 9 minutes.
6) The Technicians- Two guys, their job, and how it affects their home life. Approximately 1 hour 36 minutes.
7) Night Fright- An elderly Roddy McDowall reprises his role as Peter Vincent...kind of. Approximately 1 hour 33 minutes.
8) My Best Customer- A delivery man who gets more than he bargained for at Christmas. Approximately 1 hour 20 minutes.
9) Return to the Dirt- Being an adult and working in the food industry at Flurf. Yes, Flurf. Approximately 1 hour 5 minutes.
Acknowledgments- Approximately 20 minutes.

The only story I didn’t care for was The Relativist and it was likely due to the narrator- the voices didn’t jibe for me. Otherwise, the narrators all did a great job, some really hit the mark.

*I was given a free review copy of the audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for allowing me to listen and review the book!

Can You Laugh in Terror?

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

This collection of horrifyingly funny stories will leave you laughing with a heavy heart. One thing is for sure... I have lost my taste for Bologna after listening to this audiobook...
Each story is very different, so you won't get bored after listening to the first two or three. They are long enough to allow you to truly get into each situation, but not too long to have the stories drag on. Bravo to the author!
The one story that I enjoyed more than the rest is "Anything For My Bubela". It was so funny and terrifying at the same time... It shows how far a love of a mother for her son can go, even if she chooses a very unorthodox way to show it. The narrator did an extremely good job with the characters. It is just strange that these horror stories make you laugh more than raise your hairs, not because they are not terrifying, but because the author dwells on the characters' absurdities creating very comic situations.
The story that left me more disturbed was "The Organization". It reminded me a little of "The Hunger Games" but in a senior environment. It was perhaps one of the most "serious" of the stories.
I thought that the narration by the various performers, was very good for the most part. Some did a better job than others, but all in all, I enjoyed listening to their interpretations. Can't wait to see what other stories the author has in store for us...