It's Not You

Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

De: Ramani Durvasula PhD

Narrado por: Ramani Durvasula PhD, Maria Shriver

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism

AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER

It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. One day they draw you in with their charm and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-esteem, and leave you wondering, What should I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani explains in It’s Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing.

Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease them. The first step toward healing from their toxic influence—and to protect yourself from future harm—is to accept that you are not to blame for their behavior.

Drawing on more than two decades of studying the landscape of narcissism and working with survivors, Dr. Ramani explores how narcissists hijack our well-being and offers a healing path forward. Unpacking the oft-misunderstood personality, she reveals the telltale behavioral patterns that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissist. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep you stuck in the cycle, grieve the loss of these painful relationships, create and maintain realistic boundaries, discern unhelpful behaviors from narcissistic behaviors, and recover your sense of self after constant invalidation.

Thriving after, or even during, a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but It’s Not You shows you it is possible. Dr. Ramani invites you to stop blaming yourself and trying to change the narcissistic person, and to start giving yourself permission to let go of their hold on you and finally embrace your true self.

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This is real. Finally an explanation that it’s not me! #not crazy. Thank you Dr.R!

Unbelievable enlightening and relatable

Every video and podcast I’ve watched from Dr Ramano and the examples she explains for every aspect of this disorder has been an exact reiteration of the last 25 years of my life. There is absolutely no question that he is narcissistic. Coming terms with not getting the closure I thought of needed was difficult but by gaining the knowledge to understand why had been almost equivalent to the injustice. This book is just so helpful and I can’t thank you enough for all the work that must’ve been put into this to share with us. It’s going to be a long hard road but it will be worth breaking the cycle and figuring out who I am at 52 and being proud oof it. It really is empowering and it gives me the courage to put me first and say NO. Thank you so much!

Perfect Release Time & What I Needed to Hear

There is so much info about narcissim online and it all has been extremely helpful. But this was all about how everyone around the narcissist has been affected and what we can do to heal from it. Exacly what I needed to hear and timing of the release was also perfect. Thank you God and thank you Dr. Ramani for the work you've done to share all that you have learned.

priceless

The most informative, helpful book to date on dealing with narcissistic/ toxic abuse. It will change your life for the better 

This was a tough one.

If you’re experiencing or suspect you are experiencing this, she will read your mind in ways you may not be ready for, but likely need. I know I did. The amount of confusing emotions and thoughts I’ve been going through are nearly all laid out here. I’ve felt very lost and it’s nice (as much as it can be) to not feel so alone in the struggle anymore. And that, by itself, has tremendous value.