The Three Little Pigs and the Perils of Subsidized Housing, Cinderella and the Glass Ceiling, Hillary the Snow Queen - these rehabilitated "classics" and many more would be required bedtime reading under the regime of President Gingrich, or "Uncle Newt," as he likes his little pals to call him. Yes, all the orphans at the new Boy's Town, their bellies full of ketchup, will be enraptured by these GOP fairy tales celebrating the Contract with America and cautioning youngsters about the evil Welfare State of long ago. These bedtime stories could keep you awake all night. Narrator Arte Johnson won an Emmy for his work on the classic TV show, Laugh-In.
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