I Can Barely Take Care of Myself

Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids

By: Jen Kirkman

Narrated by: Jen Kirkman

"You'll change your mind."

That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool.

Jen's stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), after which complete strangers constantly approach her and ask, "But who will take care of you when you're old?" (Servants!) Some insist, "You'd be such a great mom!" (Really? You know me so well!)

Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show - and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends - Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate.

I Can Barely Take Care of Myself is a beacon of hilarious hope for anyone whose major life decisions have been questioned by friends, family, and strangers in a comedy club bathroom. And it should satisfy everyone who wonders if Jen will ever know true love without looking into the eyes of her child.

©2013 Jen Kirkman (P)2013 Tantor

Critic reviews

"Jen Kirkman has written an excellent - and very funny - guide to promote not having children. Thanks girl, for saving me the time." (Chelsea Handler)

So honest and true

I'm a 40 year old child free woman who sometimes felt bad about my choice because I am always questioned about it. Stupid questions I must add. After listening to this book I feel 100% confident with my decision not to have a child knowing I am not alone. Thank you Jen for speaking up for us. Everything you say is so true.

It's good.But she's a little angry, understandably

I like this book but I don't see this becoming one in my regular rotation. I completely understand how she feels and it's not fair that people want to press on you their expectations. But their places in the book where it crosses the line from being essays to just being pissed off. Those parts are a little less enjoyable in my opinion.

Funny and well written

Great storytelling in this hilarious book narrated by the author. Jen Kirkman is a funny comedian and outstanding writer

just okay

This is material I can 100% relate to. the book felt redundant and could have been kept to a 4-minute conversation. I was disappointed.

the other reviewer is dumb

Jen Kirkman is brilliant and hilarious. I was so glad to find out she was narrating her own audiobook because I knew it would be excellent. Her stories on the Pod F. Tompkast and her comedy act are always incredibly entertaining. Buy it!