-
Guaranteed Fresh
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $11.89
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Editorial reviews
Twelve years after she became the first out lesbian comedian to appear on television, Suzanne Westenhoefer takes on another milestone: her 40th birthday. With Guaranteed Fresh Westenhoefer riffs on the aging process, family relationships, and life as a lesbian in the 21st century. At mid-life, Westenhoefer is clearly confident and self-aware, casually noting, "I’m very comfortable confronting and bearing my soul…this is the easiest thing I’ve ever done." Nevertheless, Westenhoefer hasn’t exactly mellowed with age, and this is clear as she mouths off about the trials and tribulations of domestic drudgery and household homosexuality. To bellyaching aplomb, Westenhoefer decries long car rides, Homeland Security, and wonders why her mom won’t wear that "muff-divers club" t-shirt she gave her.
Publisher's summary
Suzanne says, "I'm very comfortable confronting and bearing my soul. For some people, the thought of that is terrifying, and they would rather be dead. But this is the easiest thing I've ever done. I've worked in factories, I've bartended in New York, I've lugged stuff around; I know what hard work is. This is the easiest thing I've ever done in the world. This is me being me and getting paid for it."
More from the same
Author
Related to this topic
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Hot White Heist 2
- By: Adam Goldman
- Narrated by: Bowen Yang, Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
-
-
AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
-
-
Please do more
- By Mr P Ellerington on 04-23-24
By: Dawn French, and others
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Hot White Heist 2
- By: Adam Goldman
- Narrated by: Bowen Yang, Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
-
-
AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
-
-
Please do more
- By Mr P Ellerington on 04-23-24
By: Dawn French, and others
What listeners say about Guaranteed Fresh
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- zenabuff
- 07-18-14
Suzanne Westenhoefer is 40, Fresh and Funny!
Would you consider the audio edition of Guaranteed Fresh to be better than the print version?
There is no printed version audible! This is Suzanne W. doing her stand up routine brilliantly following in the footsteps of Kate Clinton or even if you stretch it a little Lilly Tomlin. But Suzanne is her own person and owns her comedy. She does touch on current events a little, Martha Stewart going to jail but is not a hard sale on politics. She speak more about the personal. Like her Mother and her sisters, Her acting career, Her girl friend and there cats. And she makes it so funny you almost wet yourself you are laughing so hard.
What did you like best about this story?
I like her whole stand up routine, she has perfect timing between jokes and you feel her giving you the punch lines like all the great comic masters do. Timing you just can't teach you either have it or you don't and Suzanne has it. She keeps you in laughter while giving you time to get a breath before you are laughing again.
Which scene was your favorite?
Suzanne's comedy really is Fresh, a nice voice for the lonely lesbian. I like the story she tells about giving her mother the tee shirt that and her mother not understanding what it meant and wearing it everywhere. I also enjoyed the story about the home depot and the 40 pounds of grout.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
They have, Suzanne W. has at least one HBO special that was filmed and boy is it funny. She is so talented. Sometimes you can caught her doing one of those half-hour comedy things on Comedy Central or the like. She really is very funny. I know when Here TV was trying to make a go of it she and 3 other lesbian comedians where filmed together for a special. The DVD's and taped and specials are hard to find but out there and she is awesome to see perform.
Any additional comments?
This is the best of her 3 audio stand up routines that were taped. But all 3 were very funny. I got this and the other two on sale though I own the CD already. I bought them so I would have them on my kindle when I felt the need for a good laugh. Even though I have heard all 3 dozens of times - still I laugh at the jokes every time.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!