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C is for Cookie: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
- The Alphabet Books Series, Book 3
- Narrated by: David S. Dear
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
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Publisher's Summary
They're the cookies that bite back!
OK, Gretel, Dad says we need to move out and get a job.
Don't look at me that way.
Hey, we can do it together. It'll be fun.
Yes. I know we have no skills.
Well, you know how all those long-haul cookie delivery drivers left on their routes and never came back?
It's perfect. Guaranteed employment. People need their sweets.
What? Danger? Nah, we'll be fine.
Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies cross-country to an old witch in the forest.
They stop to pick up their load and notice something isn’t right. Pastries shouldn’t be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.
Once upon a time, in an orphanage, lived a rather ugly child. Picked on mercilessly by her peers until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them.
Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver?
Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale.
Note: This series does not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!
More from the same
What listeners say about C is for Cookie: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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- Pizza Knight
- 02-11-18
Fantastically Deranged
Would you listen to C Is for Cookie again? Why?
Yes. This is definitely one to share with friends who also enjoy black humor.
What did you like best about this story?
The bizarre observations. Look out for cavernous belly buttons!
Any additional comments?
The narrator, David S. Dear, did a great job voicing this title.
This was worth the time spent listening to it. I will definitely be looking for other titles from this author/narrator duo.
*This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.
1 person found this helpful
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- Heather North
- 03-19-18
Unique
Unique take on a classic fairytale. Very funny to listen to. Great narrator! I received a free review copy of this audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.
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- Robert Merrill
- 03-11-18
Fairy tales done right!!
I received this book for free in exchange for a voluntarily unbiased review.
This is the first book from this author and found his take on the genre refreshing. Had a Creepshow vibe to it and could easily be a tv show I would watch. This short story was fun and ending was not expected.
The narrator was fine but reminds me if Chris from Family Guy. He is fun to listen too and he brought the characters alive.
Beware the cookies!!!!
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- TU
- 03-05-18
Not for kids but quite entertaining
I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
This was a short and oddball take on Hansel and Gretel. For what it was, it was humorous and entertaining. Not for kids, though!
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- Paul A. Luedecke
- 02-23-18
An odd author
What made the experience of listening to C Is for Cookie the most enjoyable?
C is for Cookie takes a Hansel and Gretel story and applies Richard's wackiness to it, complete with fart jokes, gross-outs and insanity. A fun read/listen.
Any additional comments?
All of Marc Richard's books have an oddness to them that, if one is so inclined to the odd, is easy to appreciate, simply for the out there way he comes up with the tales. The narrator, David S. Dear, does a great job in keeping up the tongue-in-cheek absurdity of it all.
"I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Krista Jasper
- 02-21-18
Stop! Not for Kidlet Ears! 😊
Although it may look like it, this is not your toddler’s alphabet book. Heck, the main characters are Hansel and Gretel, but this is closer to the scary stories once referred to as “fairy tales”! It is far from the Disney type fables that many of us grew up with.
Marc Richards has taken the ABC’s and lore we are familiar and gave them a twist with an adult edge. They are short reads but amusing because of the creative way they have been re-imagined. They don’t have to be read in order, so pick any one up for a fun quick read.
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- Sarah Moon
- 02-20-18
Well woven
I did not know what to expect when I started this book and what I got was some fabulous horror that does not take itself seriously. I was laughing out loud at parts of this book, the horror was a more grizzly Hansel and Gretel probably closer to what the Brothers Grimm would have originally written. But the genius to this story was the humor. I did not know what I wanted to listen to last night and this fit the bill perfectly.
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- Rebecca Azizov
- 02-17-18
geniously written
while this book was just a phenomenal I seriously loved this book I enjoyed it so very much my family probably thought I was crazy when I was laughing so hard the narrator did an amazing job as well just a great great book
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Johnny
- 02-14-18
Interesting take on an old fairy tale
I liked the creativeness of the story and the authors retelling of the old Hansel and Gretel tale. The story was interesting but I felt like it was trying too hard to be funny. I think if the author focused solely on the writing and not trying to throw in as many jokes I'd enjoy it more. Overall it's not a bad book just nothing great.
I was given this Audiobook for free in exchange for an honest review.
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- Jennifer Mulder
- 02-13-18
Loved it!
I never really know what to expect when it comes to books like this, but i absolutely loved this one!!! i was laughing soo hard at parts.... like the cookies at the truck stop. I would definitely recommend this book to quite a few of my friends!!!
"I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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Tricked into a world of banished gods, demons, goblins, sprites and magic, Richter must learn to meet the perils of The Land and begin to forge his own kingdom. Actions have consequences across The Land, with powerful creatures and factions now hell-bent on Richter's destruction. Can Richter forge allegiances to survive this harsh and unforgiving world or will he fall to the dark denizens of this ancient and unforgiving realm? A tale to shake "The Land" itself, measuring 10/10 on the Richter scale, how will Richter's choices shape the future of The Land and all who reside in it?
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A bit cringy
- By Jeremy Schultz on 03-13-18
By: Aleron Kong
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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Great book and perfect narration
- By Marilyn Armstrong on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Space: 1969
- By: Bill Oakley
- Narrated by: Natasha Lyonne, full cast
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Original Recording
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Nancy Kranich (played by Emmy-nominated actress Natasha Lyonne of Russian Doll and Orange Is the New Black) is a night nurse on an orbiting space station. But Nancy hates her job, is sick of space, and longs to find adventure and a safe place to smoke cigarettes that won’t blow everyone up. But when Nancy gets caught up in an outer-space conspiracy involving President Kennedy, former vice-president Richard Nixon, and an intergalactic object that could change the course of history, she gets way more adventure than she bargained for.
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Simply the Best Full-Cast Audio Book Ever!
- By Veritas on 07-09-22
By: Bill Oakley
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By Phx17 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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Monsters and How to Tame Them
- By: Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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Monsters and How to Tame Them is Kevin’s most recent guide on how to live your best life, wrapped in his signature honesty, hilarious voice, and adept storytelling. You’ve heard stories about vampires, zombies, and ghosts. Now it’s time to meet some of the monsters that haunt your mind.
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Entertaining, not useful
- By Anonymous User on 09-18-22
By: Kevin Hart
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Nothing Like I Imagined
- (Except for Sometimes)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling
- Length: 2 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In these fresh and hilarious personal essays, Mindy Kaling gives the inside scoop on her new role as single mom, the perks of being her own husband, and how she deals with social anxiety even at the most glamorous A-list parties. In between, the beloved actress, writer, and Hollywood power-bruncher gets Kanye West’d at her best friend’s birthday, thwarts an “only in LA” crime, and learns what it means to have it all.
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Mindy is wonderful
- By Jen Kious on 10-12-20
By: Mindy Kaling
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The Land: Founding: A LitRPG Saga
- Chaos Seeds, Book 1
- By: Aleron Kong
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tricked into a world of banished gods, demons, goblins, sprites and magic, Richter must learn to meet the perils of The Land and begin to forge his own kingdom. Actions have consequences across The Land, with powerful creatures and factions now hell-bent on Richter's destruction. Can Richter forge allegiances to survive this harsh and unforgiving world or will he fall to the dark denizens of this ancient and unforgiving realm? A tale to shake "The Land" itself, measuring 10/10 on the Richter scale, how will Richter's choices shape the future of The Land and all who reside in it?
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A bit cringy
- By Jeremy Schultz on 03-13-18
By: Aleron Kong
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Neanderthal Seeks Human
- A Smart Romance, Knitting in the City, Volume 1
- By: Penny Reid
- Narrated by: Jennifer Grace
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing her boyfriend, apartment, and job in the same day, Janie Morris can't help wondering what new torment fate has in store. To her utter mortification, Quinn Sullivan- aka Sir McHotpants- witnesses it all then keeps turning up like a pair of shoes you lust after but can't afford. The last thing she expects is for Quinn - the focus of her slightly, albeit harmless, stalkerish tendencies - to make her an offer she can't refuse.
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Fun, funny and very entertaining
- By SIMARA on 11-21-17
By: Penny Reid
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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
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Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
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Brackish Waters
- By: Matt Boren
- Narrated by: Christina Applegate
- Length: 1 hr and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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When Kate wins an item at her children’s elementary school auction - an all-inclusive trip to SeaView at Sandpiper Bay - she thinks it’s just what her family needs after a decade of career disappointments and a marriage on its last legs. She has no reason to believe that said trip is a Fyre Festival-level fraud and, in fact, the catalyst to her unraveling. But it is. Oh, but it is.
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Christina Applegate is everything
- By Julie on 03-21-21
By: Matt Boren
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- By: Dave Hill, Jessica Conrad, Sean Keane, and others
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
- Original Recording
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Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
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It's Just...Alright.
- By Chelsea on 06-10-19
By: Dave Hill, and others