We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access .
I Suck at Girls Audiobook

I Suck at Girls

Regular Price:$11.40
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (555 )
5 star
 (254)
4 star
 (185)
3 star
 (83)
2 star
 (19)
1 star
 (14)
Overall
4.1 (507 )
5 star
 (231)
4 star
 (152)
3 star
 (90)
2 star
 (24)
1 star
 (10)
Story
4.3 (504 )
5 star
 (284)
4 star
 (134)
3 star
 (57)
2 star
 (16)
1 star
 (13)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    J. McMahon 10-13-17
    J. McMahon 10-13-17
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    6
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Ugh"

    The voices were so annoying. I felt like I was watching South Park...not in a good way.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nancy Hartmann orange park fla 07-04-17
    Nancy Hartmann orange park fla 07-04-17 Member Since 2015
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    9
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Sooo funny"

    I loved this book!!!! It could have been my Father he was talking about. My father was cut and dried, to the point, cussed constantly even when we 4 were tots. I've grown to be the same way. The narrator was perfect!!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    miguelina 02-09-17
    miguelina 02-09-17 Member Since 2015
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    6
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "funny and amazing"

    loved this book from the very beginning to the end I would definitely recommend it

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ana 02-07-17
    Ana 02-07-17
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hilarious"

    Loved every minute of it. Listened to it repeatedly. Laughed so hard that I almost cried.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ryan Webster 12-16-16 Member Since 2017
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    61
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great story!"
    Where does I Suck at Girls rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    One of the funniest books I've purchased.


    How could the performance have been better?

    The voices for the alternate characters were hard to take. Some sounded very cliched and others sounded too much like very bad south park impressions. The voice for the main character was perfect and the father was okay, but everyone else was hard to take.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    obyrne 05-27-16
    obyrne 05-27-16 Member Since 2016
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    5
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hilarious"

    Anything by Justin Halpern makes me laugh. I recommend his books 110% to all my friends!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Christina 05-24-16
    Christina 05-24-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
    16
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    103
    32
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny"

    It was funny, although not as good as his first book, Sh*t my dad said. Also, the narrator's tone for him was a bit too whiny - especially during interactions w/his dad.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mary Grove City, OH, United States 04-06-16
    Mary Grove City, OH, United States 04-06-16 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    20
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Laugh-out-loud funny."

    Absolutely hilarious story of a young man trying to understand women.
    Fantastic narration.
    Don't listen with your kids.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rob 06-16-15
    Rob 06-16-15 Member Since 2008
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    3
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great book"

    Funny book i would suggest this book to anyone anyone who likes a good comedy should read it

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tony Christ 03-08-15
    Tony Christ 03-08-15
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Good Book"

    A pretty good follow up to Justin's first book. I enjoyed the first one better since the dad is such a great character. I also enjoyed the Fox show "Surviving Jack" that was based off this book. Too bad it got cancelled so quickly.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.