Out of the Fog

Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

De: Dana Morningstar

Narrado por: Dana Morningstar

The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.

However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.

The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.

Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".

This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:

• "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
• "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
• A parent vs. a predator
• Commitment vs. codependency
• Self-love vs. selfishness
• A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
• Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
• A friend vs. someone being friendly
• Caring vs. caretaking

©2017 Dana Morningstar (P)2019 Dana Morningstar

Dana Morningstar, THANK YOU 💛💜💚💙

I have been subscribed to Dana Morningstar's Thrive After Abuse Channel on YouTube for a while now. I'm so glad I got this opportunity to download the Audible version of this. The information is priceless on my plan on listening it to it again. Also I'm very glad that Dana Morningstar took the time to do the speaker's many other authors have another voice narrating their book... And I find Dana's voice super soothing and, I'm trying to figure out how to move on after so much and it's so validating to know that it is possible to heal and that I am not the only one

Great but a bit offended

I think this book is great. I’ve been in and out of a relationship with a narcissist. Both emotional and physical abuse. This book helped validate me in all my feelings and emotions. The reason I gave it a lower star is because I was offended by how addiction was portrayed in the book. Yes, I’m an addict (in recovery) but it seems like she thinks addiction is more of a moral issue and not a disease. And that if you are an addict, you can’t or won’t change. I don’t agree with that at all and I was slightly offended. That being said, I’d still recommend this book. It answers a lot of questions.

Helped me find emotional clarity. Life saver!

This book put words to the emotional confusion I was feeling. It gave me the clarity, strength and the knowledge I needed to move towards a healthier life for me.

Amazing for reflection

This book really helps people recognize abuse, mistreatment and understanding and how to grow from it!

A must read for victims of emotional abuse

This is a very helpful book for victims of emotional abuse. Everything was compelling, accurate, and clearly explained.