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It's Not You
- Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
- Narrado por: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Duración: 11 h y 31 m
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Resumen del Editor
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism
AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER
It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently?
As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.
Deeply compassionate and revelatory, It’s Not You examines how narcissists hijack our wellbeing and offers a healing path forward. Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching, and helping clients navigate the landscape of narcissism, Dr. Durvasula unpacks the oft-misunderstood personality, showing how to identify the telltale signs that you may be dealing with a narcissist and protect yourself from their toxic influence. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep us stuck in these cycles, grieve the losses, create realistic boundaries, learn the fine art of discernment, and recover your sense of self after years of invalidation.
Healing and thriving after or even during a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but it is possible. It's Not You shows that the first step is to stop trying to change the narcissistic person, stop blaming yourself, and start giving yourself permission to foster your autonomy and sense of self outside of this relationship.
Reseñas de la Crítica
“A must read. Dr. Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship. With her expert advice based on decades of research and clinical experience, she makes the impossible seem possible.”–Mel Robbins, bestselling author of The High Five Habit and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast
“Dr. Ramani has written the book on narcissism for our times, not simply because it upends everything we thought we knew about this personality, but because it gives real people a sense of hope…that they can heal, that they can move forward from these relationships, that it’s not you.”–Maria Shriver
“In writing It's Not You, Dr. Durvasula directly addresses victims of narcissistic abuse with targeted advice developed through years of clinical experience and research. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling in a relationship with a narcissist. Once you realize it's not you who is the problem, you can become the solution.”–W. Keith Campbell, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Georgia and author of The Narcissism Epidemic
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- De B. Sharpe en 10-30-22
De: Brendon Burchard
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- De: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrado por: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Duración: 7 h y 38 m
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- De Chris Love en 11-28-20
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The 5 Second Rule
- Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
- De: Mel Robbins
- Narrado por: Mel Robbins
- Duración: 7 h y 35 m
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How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in five seconds. Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears. What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?
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I turned it off after an hour.
- De Zac en 04-08-17
De: Mel Robbins
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- De: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrado por: Brittany Pressley
- Duración: 14 h y 21 m
- Versión completa
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- De Amazon Customer en 10-01-19
De: Lori Gottlieb
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- De: Chris Bailey
- Narrado por: Chris Bailey
- Duración: 3 h y 18 m
- Grabación Original
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- De T.D.Willis en 01-17-21
De: Chris Bailey
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- De: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrado por: Brian Holsopple
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- De Andreas en 12-27-16
De: Ryan Holiday, y otros
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How to Release Anxiety
- De: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrado por: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Duración: 1 h y 29 m
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It’s not just you. Stress levels are at an all-time high—so much so that a recently convened panel of medical experts in the US has recommended that all adults under the age of 65 be screened for anxiety. In How to Release Anxiety, Gabby Bernstein offers simple, actionable steps for feeling better, living with more ease, and showing up for those around us. Gabby’s unusual advice: Rather than manage your anxiety, what if you befriended it? Gabby posits that what we befriend, we can ultimately be at ease with. So she invites us to get curious.
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Not my thing, but one good point
- De Scott en 10-22-22
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- De: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrado por: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Duración: 4 h y 44 m
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- De Paula en 07-23-22
De: Allison Friederichs Atkison, y otros
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A Quiet Life in 7 Steps
- De: Susan Cain
- Narrado por: Susan Cain
- Duración: 4 h y 38 m
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In a world of distraction, overcommitment, and often overwhelming social expectations, are you craving depth, meaning, and true connection? Join Susan Cain, an international best-selling author on the power of introverts who will help you tune out all of your everyday stresses and conflicts and tune into living a Quiet Life. In seven steps, Susan will show you exactly how to lead your own Quiet Life. She’ll help you connect with the part of yourself that’s drawn to the quiet, the deep, the beautiful, and the kind.
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A great reminder to once again listen to our inner voice…
- De Amazon Customer en 01-14-24
De: Susan Cain
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How to Be a 3% Man
- De: Corey Wayne
- Narrado por: Corey Wayne
- Duración: 7 h y 33 m
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My book covers both the dating world and long-term relationships. You will learn how to meet and date the type of women you've always dreamed of. The best part is you can do this while remaining who you truly are inside. The book teaches you how to create sexual attraction in women and get women to chase and pursue you! It takes you step by step with easy-to-follow instructions. You will be able to meet women anytime, anyplace, and anywhere. This will give you choice with women.
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3% MAN
- De Anonymous User en 07-07-17
De: Corey Wayne
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The Gift of Fear
- Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
- De: Gavin de Becker
- Narrado por: Gavin de Becker
- Duración: 12 h y 50 m
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These days, no one in America feels immune to violence. But now, in this extraordinary, groundbreaking book, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior unlocks the puzzle of human violence and shows that, like every creature on earth, we have within us the ability to predict the harm others might do us and get out of its way. Contrary to popular myth, human violence almost always has a discernible motive and is preceded by clear warning signs.
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Decent book severely undermined by last chapter.
- De zachary en 11-01-22
De: Gavin de Becker
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Not Nice
- Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself
- De: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrado por: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Duración: 18 h y 2 m
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
- De Shannon Slater en 12-07-18
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Models
- Attract Women Through Honesty
- De: Mark Manson
- Narrado por: Austin Rising
- Duración: 7 h y 52 m
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- De Mark Speener en 06-24-14
De: Mark Manson
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- De: Mel Robbins
- Narrado por: Mel Robbins
- Duración: 10 h y 3 m
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- De Nike7 en 02-08-19
De: Mel Robbins
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Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships
- De: Monica Johnson, The Great Courses
- Narrado por: Monica Johnson
- Duración: 2 h y 30 m
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Holding boundaries and asserting yourself are crucial skills for maintaining healthy relationships and a sense of self-respect. In Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships, professional clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson teaches you how to clearly define your limits, communicate those limits to others, and foster mutual respect and understanding in your everyday interactions.
De: Monica Johnson, y otros
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The Confidence Gap
- A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- De: Russ Harris, Steven Hayes PhD - foreword
- Narrado por: Graeme Malcolm
- Duración: 7 h y 39 m
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Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to "get over" our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it's only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it.
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The One Book for Overcoming Anxiety
- De Joel Smith en 01-11-16
De: Russ Harris, y otros
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
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Wake up call !
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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
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You're Not the Problem
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Many emotionally abusive behaviors from parent to child have become socially acceptable because of the way we repeat things our parents said and did, things passed down from generation to generation that persist today. You're Not the Problem enables us to recognize these behaviors and realize the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners and friends. It also shows us how to heal on a personal level but also on a societal level.
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Great book
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The Narcissist's Playbook
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Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might? Do you continually feel anxious around someone in your life, but can’t pinpoint why?...Perhaps you know you are being manipulated or abused, but don’t know how to make it stop. The Narcissist’s Playbook can help. You can take back your life.
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powerful
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"Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
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Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult, or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized.
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Excellent reality check
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You Are Why You Eat
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
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Wake up call !
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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
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- De: Debbie Mirza
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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
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What You Need to Know about Narcissistic Abuse: 2-in-1 Book Bundle Featuring Start Here and Out of the Fog
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In this box set, you get the best-selling book Out of the Fog, and you get Start Here included as a bonus. The audiobook Out of the Fog will help you get out of the of confusion and into the clarity that you are looking for... Start Here will help you understand all of the concepts, terminology, and FAQs surrounding narcissistic abuse.
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Out of the Fog
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The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
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THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
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Worthy
- How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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💫 We're so WORTHY! 🦋 Listen - Read - Share 🔆
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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Finally
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Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD (4 Books in 1)
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- De: Linda Hill
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This groundbreaking book includes four books that will teach you from start to finish, everything you need to know about Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD, as well as how to recover from each one of them.
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Great content, awful narration!!
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Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)
- Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed
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Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
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Makes me dislike Narcissists even more!
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Slay the Bully
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Slay narcissists—the ultimate bullies—in negotiations by following this simple formula—developed by one of the top 1 percent of attorneys in the nation—a proven method to take you from victim to victory, without backlash!
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Finally. A strategy for WINNING.
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What a Narcissist Does at the End of a Relationship
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Breaking up in normal circumstances is hard enough. If you throw a narcissist into the equation, it makes it all the more difficult. If you're looking to listen to this audiobook, you're likely heartbroken and looking for some guidance, support, or understanding. As someone who has been through the hell of a narcissistic relationship, I can offer you all three, and I hope this audiobook can help you make sense of this heartbreaking time.
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Horrible! Read if you want to become a narcissist!
- De DJ en 01-21-21
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Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1
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- Narrado por: Stephanie Murphy
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If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
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Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
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De: Lauren Kozlowski
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Blind to Betrayal
- Why We Fool Ourselves We Aren't Being Fooled
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Historia
One of the world's top experts on betrayal looks at why we often can't see it right in front of our faces. If the cover-up is worse than the crime, blindness to betrayal can be worse than the betrayal itself. Whether the betrayer is an unfaithful spouse, an abusive authority figure, an unfair boss, or a corrupt institution, we often refuse to see the truth in order to protect ourselves. This book explores the fascinating phenomenon of how and why we ignore or deny betrayal, and what we can gain by transforming "betrayal blindness" into insight.
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How relatable it felt
- De Alex S. en 03-29-24
De: Jennifer Freyd, y otros
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Supercommunicators
- How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
- De: Charles Duhigg
- Narrado por: Charles Duhigg
- Duración: 7 h y 28 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Historia
Come inside a jury room as one juror leads a starkly divided room to consensus. Join a young CIA officer as he recruits a reluctant foreign agent. And sit with an accomplished surgeon as he tries, and fails, to convince yet another cancer patient to opt for the less risky course of treatment. In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg blends deep research and his trademark storytelling skills to show how we can all learn to identify and leverage the hidden layers that lurk beneath every conversation.
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Excellent book!
- De Sylvie en 02-25-24
De: Charles Duhigg
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Whole Again
- Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse
- De: Jackson MacKenzie, Shannon Thomas - foreword
- Narrado por: Kaleo Griffith, Erin Spencer
- Duración: 8 h y 22 m
- Versión completa
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Historia
Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new audiobook, he guides listeners on what to do next - how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. MacKenzie shares insights and tools for working through the protective self we've developed so that we can finally move on to live a full and authentic life.
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Good content, but to much repeat
- De Adri en 03-23-19
De: Jackson MacKenzie, y otros
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre It's Not You
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- Krystal Leann
- 02-25-24
Radical acceptance! Compassionate approach!
Should be a must read for all trauma mental health industries. Beautiful and compassionate approach to survivors (not victims) of abuse. Helpful, hopeful, and vulnerable.
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esto le resultó útil a 5 personas
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- elizabeth lawrence
- 02-29-24
Powerful Support for victims of Toxic Abuse
Thoughtfully written, succinct yet detailed. If you have toxic people in your life, this is a must read. You will find insightful explanations and helpful strategies to cope and protect yourself from harm.
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esto le resultó útil a 3 personas
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- Mom of two
- 03-04-24
Best book in narcissism and narcissistic abuse
Dr. Ramini's work, including this book, courageously pushes narcissism and narcissistic abuse into modern psychology and mental health care. Finally, someone identifies, accurately describes, and walks through the experiences of those who have been struggling their entire lives because of these significantly harmful relationship dynamics. My hope is that her work and advocacy of these issues results in better education and practice for counselors, therapists, the legal system, employers, etc., so that those who are affected finally can heal and avoid finding themselves in the dynamics again. Great work, Dr. Ramini! You are making a difference in so many people's lives.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-11-24
Cant say enough on how good this book is.
Very recommended for people who face antagonistic relationships and narcissistic people. 100% relevant from beginning to the end.
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- Curtis/Sarah
- 03-16-24
Well written and easy to digest.
Excellent resource for those struggling with Narcissistic people in their life. This book gives straightforward and practical tools to manage the Narc and heal yourself.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-21-24
Read this book!
This book is amazing and should be read by anyone suspecting narcissistic abuse in their life. It brought up a lot of things I didn’t even realize were part of narcissistic abuse.
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- Lynnie
- 04-02-24
exact truth
I thought that I'd heard it all. but no, I learned something new about myself. not my"'person"
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- HFR
- 04-09-24
Brilliant, life changing!
It provides the answer I have been seeking all my life. Packed with informations that makes a lot of sense. I listen to it over and over....
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- Austin E. Jonas Jr.
- 03-02-24
I needed this
There are times when a book is like a random conversation with a new stranger who, after a few minutes or conversation, you're like "They get me." The majority of conversations, books, articles, research, etc on narcissism, as Dr. Ramani Durvasula mentions, focuses on the narcissist. Oh, the irony! That said, what about those who suffer in narcissistic relationships? What about those who endure narcissistic abuse just to be treated as overlysensitive, too emotional, "the bigger person," to be dismissed as "that's just the way they are," or to be belittled by the community we thought would support us? What happens when the entire community we so cherish is no longer the support system we once cherished?
As I mentioned, this book made me feel that "They get me." I don't have to explain myself only to be mistreated by those I thought were my support system. In some cases, you can walk away. In some cases of narcissistic abuse, you would need to share a version of yourself that sets clear boundaries. In other cases, you may be unable to do any of this, but you can learn to embrace a version of yourself that will empower you in the narcissistic relationship. All of these responses and other approaches will be discussed in this book.
On a personal note, this was good therapy for me. I went through my own struggles with narcissistic abuse where, good to know, I used some methods Dr. Ramani Durvasula mentions in this book. However, there are a lot more tools this book has given me as someone who has been through narcissistic abuse and wants to heal more from it. There were a few times in this book where I had to put it down for a bit because in seeing some of the stories, I saw my own. Knowing there are others whose stories are now validated in the pages of this book is Heaven-sent. Knowing the pain a narcissistic relationship can cause to the emotional, mental, physical, spiritual health of someone is hell on earth. Hopefully, as Dr. Ramani Durvasula emphasizes more lions will begin to share their stories so that the hunter is no longer glorified. Thank you for this book, Dr. Ramani Durvasula. I needed this.
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- Mary Bloser
- 02-23-24
Critical expertise offered here!
I learned new things from this book, having read several about the subject of narcissism, and having
listened to multiple podcasts in the subject for years. This is an excellent book on how to heal and I cannot recommend it enough!
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas