Squeeze Me

A Novel

By: Carl Hiaasen

Narrated by: Scott Brick

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl

“If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times

WITH A NEW EPILOGUE

At the height of Palm Beach’s charity ball season, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a prominent member of geriatric high society, suddenly vanishes during a swank gala. Kiki Pew was a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting the President, who spends half the year at the “Winter White House” just down the road. Meanwhile, Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, is called to the island to deal with a monster-sized Burmese python that has taken residency in a tree. But the President is focused on the disappearance of Kiki Pew. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, he immediately declares her a victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth, which now lies in the middle of the road, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady’s motorcade to a grinding halt. Irreverent, ingenious, and uproariously entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.

Critic reviews

“Carl Hiaasen remains the undefeated, unscored-upon conscience of Florida, maybe the conscience of the whole country. I laughed and laughed and laughed while I read Squeeze Me – until I remembered, hey, I live in Palm Beach! Oh yeah, spoiler alert – the python did it.” —James Patterson

"By the evidence of the scabrous and unrelentingly hilarious Squeeze Me, the Trump era is truly Carl Hiaasen’s moment . . . Just dive in and have a wonderful time." —Richard Lipez, The Washington Post

"Novelists, like the rest of us, can’t look away from the Trump administration. Unfortunately, they haven’t found much interesting to say about it. Carl Hiaasen’s thriller Squeeze Me is, blessedly, an exception . . . Hiaasen is clear-eyed: He meets the president on his subterranean level . . . Squeeze Me is funny, but as with Hiaasen’s best work, it’s grounded in genuine outrage over the corruption that increasingly defines American political and cultural life. And it turns out there’s no better place to invoke that outrage than the wealthy swamps of Florida." —Alex Shephard, The New Republic

"Pink pearls, pythons and a philandering president add up to a rather unusual Palm Beach social season in Carl Hiaasen’s riotously funny new novel, Squeeze Me . . . [Hiaasen] knows and loves Florida and hates what has been done to it as much as anyone I know of, and those passions shape his razor-sharp satirical fiction." —Colette Bancroft, The Tampa Bay Times


"Squeeze Me is vintage Hiaasen — wry humor, social commentary and satire akin to Jonathan Swift, and all fun." —Oline H. Cogdill, The South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Almost feels like a true story

With all the headlines our Reality TV star and Chief makes these days, I had to remind myself this was satire and not reality ; p

Extremely humorous!

So absurd it’s downright hilarious! Great if you need a laugh with dark humor and don’t take offense at poking fun at the political climate. Carl Hiaasen is brilliantly hysterical in his newest book Squeeze Me!

I freaking love Carl Hiaasen!

Classic Hiaasen. And we even get cameos from Jim & Skink.
And for the negative reviewers complaining about Hiaasen’s political slant, I have 2 observations:
1- It’s Carl Hiaasen. Why the surprise? It’s not like his point of view has changed.
2- It’s fiction. Live with it. We have to live with the shitty reality of this administration & everything he & his cronies have done and are doing.

If you’ve ever enjoyed a Carl Hiaasen book in the past, just buy Squeeze Me. You’ll love it.

Hiaasen’s wit is unmatched!

Outstanding political satire! Laughable at a time it was needed the most. Could be considered nonfiction, frankly. . .which is clearly why so many Trump supporters have hurt feelings, yet his name was never actually mentioned. The story must just hit a little too close to home.
(Not everyone of us who loved this book is a Democrat, by the way - just traditional, Reagan/McCain Republicans)

venom in a non venomous book

Only Hiaasen and Scott Brick could make me listen to 8 hours of Trump and society bashing. The remaining 3 hrs. and 40 min. was interesting and satiric enough to keep me going. I was seeking a fun relaxing book like past 5 star Hiaasen books.
Instead, I learned some people think they know what and how other people think. And assaults and insults, to Trump and the majority that got him elected and almost half the country who voted for him again, got in the way of what could have been another hit. I know people think differently than I. And I am not a political fanatic. I can take a joke. But I wouldn't wish a book like this even if Sleepy Joe replaced Mammoth.