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Publisher's Summary

The absurdly outrageous, sarcastically satiric, and always entertaining New York Times best-selling author Christopher Moore returns in finest madcap form with this zany noir set on the mean streets of post-World War II San Francisco, and featuring a diverse cast of characters, including a hapless bartender; his Chinese sidekick; a doll with sharp angles and dangerous curves; a tight-lipped air force general; a wisecracking waif; Petey, a black mamba; and many more.

San Francisco. Summer, 1947. A dame walks into a saloon....

It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.

Meanwhile, a suspicious flying object has been spotted up the Pacific coast in Washington State near Mount Rainer, followed by a mysterious plane crash in a distant patch of desert in New Mexico that goes by the name Roswell. But the real weirdness is happening on the streets of the City by the Bay.

When one of Sammy's schemes goes south and the Cheese mysteriously vanishes, Sammy is forced to contend with his own dark secrets - and more than a few strange goings-on - if he wants to find his girl.

Think Raymond Chandler meets Damon Runyon with more than a dash of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes All Stars. It's all very, very Noir. It's all very, very Christopher Moore.

©2018 Christopher Moore (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

"Narrator Johnny Heller nails the wry tones and rhythmic pacing of the working mugs, corrupt cops, streetwise urchins, and tough dames who people Christopher Moore's novel, which the author calls 'perky noir.'" (AudioFile)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    868
  • 4 Stars
    357
  • 3 Stars
    109
  • 2 Stars
    36
  • 1 Stars
    18

Performance

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    247
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    83
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    27
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    13

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    38
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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A Laugh Riot, Inconsistently Delivered

Christopher Moore is a favorite of mine and I really was looking forward to Noir.
Don't mistake me, I did enjoy it (there's a 'but' coming), but...

The book is written in two POVs. The Sammy POV chapters were delightful and everything you'd expect if you'd ever heard Johnny Heller narrate before.

The others?
I could a hear a vague impression of Bogart as the other POV, but it seemed half-hearted and inconsistent.
Throughout, the characters' voices sometimes waned and it became hard to tell who was talking.

There were one-liners and rejoinders that made me giggle and snort out loud so, overall, I'd recommend it. I did sometimes long for Fisher Stevens though.

20 of 22 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Perfection!

Hey, there, Mr. Moore. I hope you read your reviews because I’m tipping my hat to this startlingly original, bizarre, laugh out loud funny (as in both “ha, ha” and “what the hell did I just read”) novel. I’m already a fan, but even having had the delight of some of your earlier novels I wasn’t prepared for this experience. Wowza! Never slowed down, never got boring, loaded with lovable and original characters...what more do people want?! Geez. My advice: BUY this sucker, people!

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Disappointing.

For the first 10 chapters I was on the verge of quitting and asking for a refund. For the next 10 I hung on only because of the sheer joy Moore’s previous books have brought me, thinking it can’t be this bad can it? It’s going to turn a corner soon I’m sure. At chapter 28 I realized it was a total loss and I had been duped into buying a lousy book by an author I loved. The entire story was disjointed and slow. The characters never developed into anything I cared a whit about. The story was shallow, predictable and has been done many times before. I had high hopes that Moore Gould put his sardonic spin on it and make it a glorious romp through the psyche of one of his usually engrossing characters but alas it never was to be.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • MD
  • 05-11-18

Glad I stuck with it

I almost...almost returned the book because I was hating the narrator’s style. I found myself going back and listening to a chapter twice because I had no clue of what had happened.

The main reason I stuck with it was because the reviews were high and I love Christopher Moore’s books. Finally, around 50% if the story I became comfortable with his narrative style and realized it had to be done that way to fit the story. I made peace with it.

I’m glad I did. The story is as crazy and funny as I wanted it to be. All lose ends were tied and I looked the characters in the story.

Moore doesn’t disappoint!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

"Bite!Bite!Bite!"

Entertaining book, Entertaining narrator! I am a Christopher Moore fan, start to finish. This book takes you back to a much simpler time, a much simpler world. But things get a bit complicated for our new friend Sammy. You should not hesitate for one minute to join Sammy on this roller coaster ride. This is one of will definitely leave you wanting more of Moore!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A good solid story

Would you listen to Noir again? Why?

Probably not. It's an OK story but it wasn't Moore's best work.

Which character – as performed by Johnny Heller – was your favorite?

The snake. The Cagny voice was interesting.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Not really. It just didn't pull me in like some of Moore's other work.

Any additional comments?

Worth the credit and the listen but Moore has much better work out there.

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Gave up after an hour......

I love Christopher, but this book is just horrible. Usally Christopher Moore’s characters are interesting and funny, not so much with this book.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Friggin hilarious

I love all of his books, as always he had me laughing so much at work that I couldn't wait to come home and soak it all in. I really hope.he writes a second book to this and maybe more. Good job, you a are hilarious and gifted.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

LOL

I love Christopher Moore’s writing. He manages to entwine comedy, emotional resonance, and whatever it is he has decided to research into a story that is smart, fun to read and even funnier to listen to. Do ya’ self a favor, kid, and pick up Noir!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Literary Rasmatazz!

Sammy Two-toes , The Cheese, and gang had me laughing throughout my listen. LOVED the bonus history on the background of the area, people, and Noir literature.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Paul S8+
  • 04-19-18

Another book ruined by a poor narrator

I am a big fan of Christopher Moore, but I have been unable to even finish this offering due to the awful narrator. It's not the first book that I have bought recently that has this problem, but it's certainly the one that I have most looked forward to

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Book Reader
  • 08-24-18

A wonderfull ight hearted pastiche

As I was not familiar with the author's other works I picked this up (metaphorically) not expecting much. Instead I got an exciting if improbable story with a good cast of characters and a book I did not want to finish . Noir, Damon Runyon, John Steinbeck, any number of crime fiction writers and science fiction thrown into a bag (without the snake ) shaken and tumbled out into post war San Francisco. Wonderful. I enjoyed the Audible version but would have liked it to be paced just a little more slowly - but maybe that is just me. A chisler, a dame, and a gimp in a bar ....