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Noir
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
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Publisher's summary
The absurdly outrageous, sarcastically satiric, and always entertaining New York Times best-selling author Christopher Moore returns in finest madcap form with this zany noir set on the mean streets of post-World War II San Francisco, and featuring a diverse cast of characters, including a hapless bartender; his Chinese sidekick; a doll with sharp angles and dangerous curves; a tight-lipped air force general; a wisecracking waif; Petey, a black mamba; and many more.
San Francisco. Summer, 1947. A dame walks into a saloon....
It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.
Meanwhile, a suspicious flying object has been spotted up the Pacific coast in Washington State near Mount Rainer, followed by a mysterious plane crash in a distant patch of desert in New Mexico that goes by the name Roswell. But the real weirdness is happening on the streets of the City by the Bay.
When one of Sammy's schemes goes south and the Cheese mysteriously vanishes, Sammy is forced to contend with his own dark secrets - and more than a few strange goings-on - if he wants to find his girl.
Think Raymond Chandler meets Damon Runyon with more than a dash of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes All Stars. It's all very, very Noir. It's all very, very Christopher Moore.
Critic reviews
"Narrator Johnny Heller nails the wry tones and rhythmic pacing of the working mugs, corrupt cops, streetwise urchins, and tough dames who people Christopher Moore's novel, which the author calls 'perky noir.'" (AudioFile)
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What listeners say about Noir
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Maggie May
- 04-18-18
A Laugh Riot, Inconsistently Delivered
Christopher Moore is a favorite of mine and I really was looking forward to Noir.
Don't mistake me, I did enjoy it (there's a 'but' coming), but...
The book is written in two POVs. The Sammy POV chapters were delightful and everything you'd expect if you'd ever heard Johnny Heller narrate before.
The others?
I could a hear a vague impression of Bogart as the other POV, but it seemed half-hearted and inconsistent.
Throughout, the characters' voices sometimes waned and it became hard to tell who was talking.
There were one-liners and rejoinders that made me giggle and snort out loud so, overall, I'd recommend it. I did sometimes long for Fisher Stevens though.
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34 people found this helpful
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- MD
- 05-11-18
Glad I stuck with it
I almost...almost returned the book because I was hating the narrator’s style. I found myself going back and listening to a chapter twice because I had no clue of what had happened.
The main reason I stuck with it was because the reviews were high and I love Christopher Moore’s books. Finally, around 50% if the story I became comfortable with his narrative style and realized it had to be done that way to fit the story. I made peace with it.
I’m glad I did. The story is as crazy and funny as I wanted it to be. All lose ends were tied and I looked the characters in the story.
Moore doesn’t disappoint!
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31 people found this helpful
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- Deborah
- 04-30-18
Perfection!
Hey, there, Mr. Moore. I hope you read your reviews because I’m tipping my hat to this startlingly original, bizarre, laugh out loud funny (as in both “ha, ha” and “what the hell did I just read”) novel. I’m already a fan, but even having had the delight of some of your earlier novels I wasn’t prepared for this experience. Wowza! Never slowed down, never got boring, loaded with lovable and original characters...what more do people want?! Geez. My advice: BUY this sucker, people!
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29 people found this helpful
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- Saturna
- 05-09-18
Literary Rasmatazz!
Sammy Two-toes , The Cheese, and gang had me laughing throughout my listen. LOVED the bonus history on the background of the area, people, and Noir literature.
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13 people found this helpful
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- Verdantsea
- 06-19-18
Disappointing.
For the first 10 chapters I was on the verge of quitting and asking for a refund. For the next 10 I hung on only because of the sheer joy Moore’s previous books have brought me, thinking it can’t be this bad can it? It’s going to turn a corner soon I’m sure. At chapter 28 I realized it was a total loss and I had been duped into buying a lousy book by an author I loved. The entire story was disjointed and slow. The characters never developed into anything I cared a whit about. The story was shallow, predictable and has been done many times before. I had high hopes that Moore Gould put his sardonic spin on it and make it a glorious romp through the psyche of one of his usually engrossing characters but alas it never was to be.
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12 people found this helpful
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- Elang
- 05-04-18
Noir, a very enjoyable book
I loved the narration of this book, very well done, and it made me laugh out loud in places..I like that he kept the words from that era and used them. the story line was fun to. I will listen again, just so I can hear the narrator.
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10 people found this helpful
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- A. Carpenter
- 04-27-18
"Bite!Bite!Bite!"
Entertaining book, Entertaining narrator! I am a Christopher Moore fan, start to finish. This book takes you back to a much simpler time, a much simpler world. But things get a bit complicated for our new friend Sammy. You should not hesitate for one minute to join Sammy on this roller coaster ride. This is one of will definitely leave you wanting more of Moore!
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10 people found this helpful
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- Leonard
- 04-23-18
A good solid story
Would you listen to Noir again? Why?
Probably not. It's an OK story but it wasn't Moore's best work.
Which character – as performed by Johnny Heller – was your favorite?
The snake. The Cagny voice was interesting.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Not really. It just didn't pull me in like some of Moore's other work.
Any additional comments?
Worth the credit and the listen but Moore has much better work out there.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-18-18
Amazing!
The narration is amazing, his description of post war San Francisco is engrossing and the story is vintage Moore.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Ashley DeLaGarza
- 05-09-18
LOL
I love Christopher Moore’s writing. He manages to entwine comedy, emotional resonance, and whatever it is he has decided to research into a story that is smart, fun to read and even funnier to listen to. Do ya’ self a favor, kid, and pick up Noir!
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7 people found this helpful
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- Paul
- 04-19-18
Another book ruined by a poor narrator
I am a big fan of Christopher Moore, but I have been unable to even finish this offering due to the awful narrator. It's not the first book that I have bought recently that has this problem, but it's certainly the one that I have most looked forward to
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3 people found this helpful
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- Book Reader
- 08-24-18
A wonderfull ight hearted pastiche
As I was not familiar with the author's other works I picked this up (metaphorically) not expecting much. Instead I got an exciting if improbable story with a good cast of characters and a book I did not want to finish . Noir, Damon Runyon, John Steinbeck, any number of crime fiction writers and science fiction thrown into a bag (without the snake ) shaken and tumbled out into post war San Francisco. Wonderful. I enjoyed the Audible version but would have liked it to be paced just a little more slowly - but maybe that is just me. A chisler, a dame, and a gimp in a bar ....
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- Frank
- 07-21-20
Funny, funny, funny!
Another great story from a Mr Moore. Read his earlier work first I’d advise but not absolutely necessary. Perky noir with its tongue poking cheekily into its cheek!
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- Nathan
- 12-14-19
Perfect narrator
Pretty much standard Moore absurdist stuff, but executed with his usual humour and style. The narrator is excellent for this genre!
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- Ms Roberta J Eley
- 11-24-19
Fab driving companion.
Excellent narration, captured the dialogue well. Well metered timing, relaxed pace, appropriate to the tone of the writing
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- chimneyman
- 04-25-19
Superb
This is a fascinating slice of American social history lightly coated in a farce of epic proportions populated by the most likeable bunch of ne'er-do-wells you could ever wish to meet. The narrator enters into the spirit of the thing with all his heart and soul. I loved it.
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-
Story
San Francisco, 1947. Bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin and the rest of the Cookie’s Coffee Irregulars—a ragtag bunch of working mugs last seen in Noir—are on the hustle: they’re trying to open a driving school; shanghai an abusive Swedish stevedore; get Mable, the local madam, and her girls to a Christmas party at the State Hospital without alerting the overzealous head of the S.F.P.D. vice squad; all while Sammy’s girlfriend, Stilton (a.k.a. the Cheese), and her “Wendy the Welder” gal pals are using their wartime shipbuilding skills on a secret project.
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Noir Has Never Been So Funny
- By Stefan Filipovits on 06-24-22
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Noir
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Simon Jäger
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
San Francisco 1947: Es kommt nicht jeden Tag vor, dass eine rätselhafte, anmutige Blondine namens Stilton (ja, wie der Käse) in den verlotterten Laden kommt, in dem Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin Gin ausschenkt. Es ist Liebe auf den ersten Blick. Aber bevor Sammy den ersten Schritt machen kann, betritt ein Air Force General mit einem eiligen Auftrag für ihn den Saloon. Doch Sammy hat eigentlich besseres zu tun: Er arbeitet an einer eigenen Geschäftsidee. Als aber an der Pazifikküste ein unbekanntes Flugobjekt gesichtet wird und Stilton plötzlich spurlos verschwindet, muss er sich seinen dunkelsten Geheimnissen stellen, um seinen Käse zu retten.
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Excellent German Translation and Performance
- By Verena Fuchs on 05-24-21
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Island of the Sequined Love Nun
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise - a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation.
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Fun Read
- By Holly Helscher on 07-01-12
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A Dirty Job
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
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Great Listen!
- By Janie on 03-24-06
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Sacre Bleu
- A Comedy d'Art
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why would an artist at the height of his creative powers attempt to take his life... and then walk a mile to a doctor's house for help? Who was the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was stalking him across France? And why had the painter recently become deathly afraid of a certain shade of blue? These are just a few of the questions confronting Vincent's friends who vow to discover the truth of van Gogh's untimely death.
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Is Nothing is Sacre'?
- By Mel on 05-07-12
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Coyote Blue
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With New York Times best-sellers like Bloodsucking Fiends to his credit, Christopher Moore has developed a devoted cult following. Coyote Blue introduces Samuel Hunter, a young man who's running from his past while being tormented by an ancient Crow God with a talent for mischief.
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ehhhh...
- By Michelle on 08-17-09
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Razzmatazz
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
San Francisco, 1947. Bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin and the rest of the Cookie’s Coffee Irregulars—a ragtag bunch of working mugs last seen in Noir—are on the hustle: they’re trying to open a driving school; shanghai an abusive Swedish stevedore; get Mable, the local madam, and her girls to a Christmas party at the State Hospital without alerting the overzealous head of the S.F.P.D. vice squad; all while Sammy’s girlfriend, Stilton (a.k.a. the Cheese), and her “Wendy the Welder” gal pals are using their wartime shipbuilding skills on a secret project.
-
-
Noir Has Never Been So Funny
- By Stefan Filipovits on 06-24-22
-
Noir
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Simon Jäger
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
San Francisco 1947: Es kommt nicht jeden Tag vor, dass eine rätselhafte, anmutige Blondine namens Stilton (ja, wie der Käse) in den verlotterten Laden kommt, in dem Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin Gin ausschenkt. Es ist Liebe auf den ersten Blick. Aber bevor Sammy den ersten Schritt machen kann, betritt ein Air Force General mit einem eiligen Auftrag für ihn den Saloon. Doch Sammy hat eigentlich besseres zu tun: Er arbeitet an einer eigenen Geschäftsidee. Als aber an der Pazifikküste ein unbekanntes Flugobjekt gesichtet wird und Stilton plötzlich spurlos verschwindet, muss er sich seinen dunkelsten Geheimnissen stellen, um seinen Käse zu retten.
-
-
Excellent German Translation and Performance
- By Verena Fuchs on 05-24-21
-
Island of the Sequined Love Nun
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise - a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation.
-
-
Fun Read
- By Holly Helscher on 07-01-12
-
A Dirty Job
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
-
-
Great Listen!
- By Janie on 03-24-06
-
Sacre Bleu
- A Comedy d'Art
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why would an artist at the height of his creative powers attempt to take his life... and then walk a mile to a doctor's house for help? Who was the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was stalking him across France? And why had the painter recently become deathly afraid of a certain shade of blue? These are just a few of the questions confronting Vincent's friends who vow to discover the truth of van Gogh's untimely death.
-
-
Is Nothing is Sacre'?
- By Mel on 05-07-12
-
Coyote Blue
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With New York Times best-sellers like Bloodsucking Fiends to his credit, Christopher Moore has developed a devoted cult following. Coyote Blue introduces Samuel Hunter, a young man who's running from his past while being tormented by an ancient Crow God with a talent for mischief.
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-
ehhhh...
- By Michelle on 08-17-09
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Lamb
- The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: