Fight Right

How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection

By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD

Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy

Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins

Publisher's summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • LEARN THE 5 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL COUPLES

Conflict is the top reason couples seek help—but it's also an opportunity for greater intimacy, deeper connection, and lasting love according to this essential guide from the world’s leading relationship scientists and authors of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Eight Dates.

“An indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.

Through decades of research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the world-famous Love Lab, have identified the five common mistakes we make when we are at odds. In Fight Right, we learn the five secrets that help us to get back on track and harness conflict to build stronger, healthier relationships. With kindness, clarity, and a deep understanding of the struggles couples are going through, the Gottmans show us that we each have a unique conflict culture, borne of how we were raised and how we experienced past relationships, and they take us through all the possible combinations, from Avoiders, to Validators, to Volatiles, and how they can best work together.

Fight Right is an essential resource that will help couples escape the win-or-lose mentality in favor of a collaborative approach: calming down, staying connected, and really understanding, so that our fights can bring us closer.

©2024 Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD and John Gottman, PhD (P)2024 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Conflict is inevitable in any relationship—the trick is knowing how to handle it. Difficulty navigating conflict is one of the most common reasons that couples seek help from books and professionals. They're looking for guidance, but there is surprisingly little practical, accessible information out there. So who better than John and Julie Gottman to give couples the important tools they need? This book will be an indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the “Dear Therapists” podcast

"Couples need skills to fight better, and FIGHT RIGHT is the book that all couples will want to read. Dr. John and Julie Gottman have crafted a masterful guide about the importance of fighting and the skills needed to grow from having necessary disputes. The Gottmans have spent years studying and teaching couples, and in FIGHT RIGHT, they are teaching couples how to do it right."—Nedra Glover Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

“In a relationship, your goal is to help your partner find their purpose. John and Julie Gottman, with their decades of experience working intimately with couples, know that the road to finding your purpose and fulfilling your dreams is often through conflict. If we don’t learn how to do conflict well, we’re going to be stuck, disconnected, and unfulfilled. Couples today really need clear, compassionate, and science-based guidance in this arena, and as the world’s leading love experts, the Gottmans are the trusted voice to guide them.”—Jay Shetty, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk

If You are in Any Relationships this is a Must Read

Once again, the Gottmans have done it! You really should read this! You will be able to pick up and apply their tactics from the beginning. As usual, their information is supported by years of research. Make sure to give it a read!

See more of my thoughts on this incredible book by following me on Instagram at @bookclubnovice. Now go download the book and get listening!

Helpful and Digestible

Thank you for making this accessible and putting it together. The book was helpful and digestible.

Great for marriage

Really made me aware of fighting habits we have today and gave good ideas for approaching differently.

Very easy to understand

I loved the simplicity of the book that made it understandable and easy to follow

The different kind of arguments

How detailed the stories are told from both perspectives . It actually tells you how to resolve them in a meaningful way without having to worry about making things worse.

Excellent summary of their research

This audible version should have come with a pdf of the fight right quick guide at the end. If I could rate it 4.5, I would.

Everyone should read this,

Even if you have a good marriage, you will benefit from this book. If you are struggling or just have this one thing… definitely read this book. It is super informative and also very practical.

It told My Story & My Partner's

I could identify myself and my partner. It's a relief to know that I'm not, we are not alone out there going through these things and looking and having a way to address issues and understand where the other side comes from is helpful. Also knowing they used AI and researched 2000- 3000 couples makes it more compelling. These are the things no one talks about and end up suffering or going through the same bad habits or experiences in silence. It's nice to know there's something out there to help. I never knew I needed therapy until reading this book. Thank you so much and unearthing some of the deeper issues and traumas I've experienced and seeing that they are very much affecting my life and relationship. I don't have all the answers yet but at least now I know there's something wrong with me and why I react in certain ways that may not always be right or healthy for a relationship . I'm an anxious one. My partner bring an avoidant. It doesn't help a lot. I'm going to get him to read this book. Been audio listening for 3-4 days now. Hopefully he reads this too and we can both heal from it.

Great information!

Lots of great discoveries shared and lots of how to ask questions. Good information on fighting styles and the 5 to 1 ratio.

Great book!

I think everyone needs this book! It focuses on married couples, but I believe it is helpful for everyone.