Showing results by author "Esmeralda Lintner" in All Categories

Somewhere in the dark corners of life and the mind shadowy figures of the imagination reside. The lure of the beckoning voice is heard through the human senses. Clear images, sometimes abstract ones, can be misconstrued for truth or lies. It is these images which distinguish truth from fiction. Take, for instance, the face. Many illusions do occur: makeup, facial manipulation through surgery, beauty creams --- everything to satisfy one's ego. However, there is such person who can change his illusive image as that of a human chameleon. FALSE FACE! Read, study and dissect, if you wish, the ...

From a naughty high school joke teller who wins a talent contest to a successful comedian who reaches highest stardom, the life story of Jack-O the Jack-Off Clown is illuminating. As soon as he is discovered, he begins a career of playing the clown like you’ve never seen before. Join Jack-O as he wows the seniors with his classroom yucks. Watch him launch his professional comic career and soar to greatness. You won’t be able to put this book down. It’s chockful of racy, nasty fun, all courtesy of the clown of naughty buffoonery himself, JACK-O! (The paperback version contains many ...

What happens when a twenty-year-old named Joe Williams is on a routine trip to his grandfather's house? Suddenly, he and his van are transported into the past. He encounters events which took place over fifty years ago. He grooves with the masses at Woodstock, gets in the middle of the Kent State student demonstrations and massacre, experiences the wonder of the Summer of Love in San Francisco, the historic Human Be-In, and the far-out trip he takes, courtesy of Doctor Timothy Leary, into an LSD-propelled world of discovery. See the past through contemporary eyes. You'd better fasten your ...

If you remember Fifi Poofay, the notorious erotica boutique owner from a previous book by this author, you will be doubly delighted to know that she is alive, well and now proud to bring you a collection of her favorite erotic nursery rhymes and naughty fairy tales. Presented in typical children's book format and illustrated throughout, you will spend many hours of stimulating fun with this unconventional versions of the beloved stories of all times.

Have y'all heard and seen on TV or read in magazines about superheroes? Well, these here are new and improved, zany, racy crime fighters for your consideration --- the Naughty Superheroes. Nowhere have there ever been such superpowers as these: Supersperm, the Wonder Wanker, Captain Buggeroff, and many more. There have also never been naughty, nefarious ne'er-do-wells the likes of Doctor Perv, the Titty Trickster, the Mad Horny Porny Man, and numerous others. Hold on to your seats --- the wacky, whacking-off fun is yet to come! (The paperback and hardcover editions contain many ...

Take a trip back to Ancient Rome. Join Longus Dongus, owner of the empire’s most famous (and notorious) baths as he takes us on a guided tour of his pride and joy. Have a wild, relaxing orgasm like you’ll never forget. Even a cameo appearance by the great emperor, Caesar himself, graces these pages. Do as the Romans do. Come to the Baths of Orgasmia! This delightful Kindle book contains many photos and illustrations. They, as well as the text, are in full color (for tablet and phone users only --- Kindle Ereader is unfortunately exempt)

You met him briefly in Huntington, West Virginia-based author ESMERALDA LINTNER's previous work dealing with the precarious situation of the American Colonists in the pre-Revolutionary nation. Now, he returns to fight even harder and more arduously than ever before for justice and liberty. Join the inhabitants of Doilston and Jammisonne, fictional villages in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, as they aspire to create a new country.

Come and read through these pages. You will discover for yourself everything about an outrageous performer: a true showman known throughout the nation. He is the outlandish buffoon of magical mystery and nasty, naughty mayhem. He will bring you hours of fun and mirth. There is no other magician or illusionist who can outperform him. You will encounter the strange and bizarre world of the obscene. His tricks can pollute the purest of minds. He is boisterous. He is rotund, He is racy. Huntington, West Virginia-based author Esmeralda Lintner guarantees you will never encounter another ...

Everybody is familiar with the famous and most beloved detectives in literary history. Names like Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Philip Marlowe, Sam Spade, Father Brown, and Inspector Morse loom large in the annals of crime fighting fiction. The greatest of them all, however, is the indisputably amazing German sleuth, Baron von Brownnosen. He brings his dignified Old World charm to the contemporary investigation of insidious crimes perpetrated by devious ne'er-do-wells like Spermo the Great and Rupert the Puppetmaster. Despite his shortcomings (the good Baron is as blind as a bat!) and ...

In Huntington, West Virginia-based author and poet, ESMERALDA LINTNER's previous novella, the appearance of an unusual man of the cloth lighted up the pages of the narrative. Now, the Reverend Doctor Sinner returns in a tale which plunges the reader directly into the maelstrom of the American Revolution and its effect on the inhabitants of a small fictional village located in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. The action is nonstop, and the laughs are also plentiful as Doctor Sinner amazed everyone with his dual personality: mild-mannered vicar of the Cobblestone All Saints Congregational Church ...

Step back in time to Ancient Greece. Allow the gods, goddesses, and other entities to delight and amaze you. Dimitrios, a slave boy who is plucked from the marketplace to live comfortably with an Athenian master, benefiting from the education and tender love provided to him, is your guide through this frequently mythological world, albeit with flashes of genuine life where mortals dwell. MIGHTY ZEUS, the god above all other gods, is ready to welcome you to this world of wonder. Enjoy your journey to the fullest in the lines of this amazing poetry.

Men rise, and men fall in many walks of life, and politics is no exception. And if a man is so overwhelming, so blustery, such a braggart, and basically an office holder who does nothing most of the time, in this day of age where the masses will believe anything spooned out to them like Pablum, he can be a roaring success. Such is the story of Senator Beauregard Blowhard, the People's Choice. You will laugh, cry, shake your head in wonder and amazement at all his antics. ESMERALDA LINTNER once again brings you a story in complete parody of everything that goes on in the halls of a state ...

In this second part of a three-book series you will experience the high, stoned times for your reading and toking pleasure. Sit back, relax, light up a joint and tune into THE GANJA NETWORK TWO!

What happens when two presidents from the past --- and the future --- come together? Sound confusing? It won't be once you begin reading this extraordinary novella about Abraham Lincoln's extraordinary trip back in time, devised for him by destiny and providence during a period of unequal turmoil caused by civil war. The reader will remember the implications of two great leaders determining the course of momentous events in U.S. history (all fictionalized, of course!)

Ready for an eerie fantasy? If you enjoy the antics of monsters and ghouls, rest assured that all your favorites show up at Skull Mansion. Gruel Hilda is whipping up all sorts of gruesome meals, and the horror is nonstop. Esmeralda Lintner's latest tale of mayhem is a tribute in parody to all Gothic classics.

Tommy Tinkerton is the unassuming hero of this latest historical tale of thrills and spills from Huntington, West Virginia author and poet, ESMERALDA LINTNER. Though a bungling fool most of the time, Tommy demonstrates uncommon valor and willingness to fight the good fight for liberty and patriotism in the besieged American Colonies. The action of the story revolves around fictitious events which take place in several equally nebulous places in and around Bucks County, Pennsylvania. You will long remember the exciting and, occasionally, stumbling, bumbling exploits of a most extraordinary ...

Wild doesn't even begin to describe the zaniness of this latest offering by Huntington, West Virginia-based author and poet, ESMERALDA LINTNER. She takes you on the naughtiest, sassiest musical revue you'll ever see live on stage or via the miracle of television. The emcee for this fabulous presentation, the outlandish Henrietta Rumblebums, introduces each act in her own, inimitable way. You'll laugh, cry, and generally flip out as you take in the unorthodox lyrics of these musical numbers. Names of the artists and groups will also give you a good chuckle, guaranteed. Your seat for the show...

Reminiscent of the old-timey country music shows broadcast over radio and television as well as the quick-paced comedy shows of yesterday with rapid-fire skits and musical numbers, this little book will delight you and bring back many fond memories. The difference, of course, is that the naughty little bud we call cannabis is the main focus here. Each routine is laden with all sorts of corny references to that miraculous weed we all love and treasure. The best part is that you don't even have to light up. Simply get comfortable in your favorite chair and either read or listen to this unique...

The cloaked figure and the unknown changing of faces is back again. He reveals individual's innermost secrets. Nobody knows where or when this dark, foreboding spirit will appear. He is that faceless, ever-changing face of faces --- the RETURN OF FALSE FACE. Esmeralda Lintner presents an anthology of four stories which will make your hair stand on end. Mister FF, as he affectionately calls himself, never fails to deliver his charges' most daring wishes and aspirations, but always with a catch of some sort or another. You'll feel the impact of these episodes long after you finish reading or ...

We met Stevie the Monkey briefly in a previous novella written by West Virginia-based author and poet, ESMERALDA LINTNER. Now, Stevie has a chance to shine on his own, fortifying his notoriety as The First Monkey of Rock and Roll. His life becomes infinitely more interesting as he meets and is mentored by a famous promoter. That wise man suggests that our monkey friend return to the exciting world of rock music where he shone so brilliantly just a few years back. And his fame spreads as he tours with under the guidance of the promoter, meets and interacts with all sorts of interesting ...