You Will Not Recognize Your Life

De: Micaela Blei

Narrado por: Micaela Blei

Can you really conjure the life of your dreams? And what if you say the wrong spell?

It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life.

Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center." But the more Micaela aces her assignments, and watches her most unlikely dreams come true, the more she wonders: Is her perfect new life the real thing, or is there a hidden cost to getting everything she thought she wanted?

Women have put themselves through a lot of f*cked up situations to feel valued and lovable. This is a sharply funny, often painfully relatable true story featuring the great tropes of early 2000s romantic comedies: self-discovery, dating disasters, epic makeover montages, and finding love where you never thought to look.

Praise for Micaela’s storytelling:

"Ms. Blei’s story was magical and riveting ... in the end, you really wanted her to be your teacher." (Lara O’Brien, MV Times)

“Micaela is a storytelling wizard. She transforms the stuff of everyday life into profound stories that move people–and make them laugh.” (Tyler Wetherall, author of No Way Home: A Memoir of Life on the Run and Amphibian)

“Micaela Blei's storytelling is fresh, hilarious, and surprisingly moving.” (Sarah Moore, Theatre Is Easy)

©2024 Micaela Blei (P)2024 Audible Originals, LLC.

Perfect storytelling

Micaela is one of my favorite Moth storytellers so I was really excited to hear about this - and it did not disappoint! Laugh out loud funny from the very outset, it’s also heartwarming, moving, and often brutally honest. But behind the totally charming experience of listening, the story also operates on another deeper thematic level, as an examination of the expectations put on women, how we internalize these toxic dogmas about how we should look and act, and on this level Micaela’s story stands as a redemptive and brilliant antidote. I hope everyone listens!

Superb storytelling, funny and poignant

Micaela is an incredible storyteller, with great delivery. It feels like listening to a close friend recount some epic adventures and the lessons she learned from them. I loved how she combined the challenges of dating with managing a chronic illness, and simply trying to figure out who she wanted to be. I’m recommending to all my friends.

Felt like a deep and funny conversation with a friend

My only complaint is that I wish it was longer — I was so sad when it ended that I didn’t get to spend any more time in Micaela’s company! This story is so wonderful and funny and charming that its depth almost sneaks up on you. It’s an incisive critique of the self-help industry but feels just like a phone call from your best friend. A lot of this is due to the author’s wonderful, natural and conversational narration.

Maybe the weirdest story I ever loved

If you can get past the first 10 minutes of the P word, this is a fun story with a good message. But the narration and the way the story is told was definitely my favorite part

So many LOL and snort moments. Thank you for sharing this raw story

I just loved it. Good feelings, real feelings, and didn’t want it to end. Going to suggest this one to friends.

Realism

Very honest and very good. Easy to identify with author. Challenging, because it can trigger memories of one’s past.

Empowering and Relatable Story of Self Discovery

Micaela’s story was an absolute delight to listen to. The simple yet profound storytelling drew me in, offering a refreshing perspective on pursuing desires and goals as a woman. Even as a married listener who isn’t seeking advice on finding love, I found the story message, empowering and universally applicable. Blei’s candid and relatable approach made this story an inspiring reminder that self-discovery and determination can transform your life.

absolutely riveting

This was SO good. It was like listening to a friend tell a story. I was absolutely along for the entire ride of personal realizations and growth…. I laughed and cried and am absolutely sharing it with women I know

Such a great refreshing and empowering story

One of the best listens I've had in a while. Especially as a freebie, it's a definite can't miss! Funny, engaging and relatable.

The Heartwarming Story and Laughs I didn’t know I Needed

This is one of the only audibles I’ve completed start to finish, and in one day. I’m hungry for more by this author and narrator. I could relate to so much of this and it was beautiful to hear such a raw, authentic story with so many lessons and insights sprinkled throughout. Performed beautifully and naturally. I would absolutely love more content from this author! Thank you for sharing your story in such an open, honest and beautiful way.