You Don't Need to Forgive

Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms

You can find peace, whether or not you forgive those who harmed you.

Feeling pressured to forgive their offenders is a common reason trauma survivors avoid mental health services and support. Those who force, pressure, or encourage trauma survivors to forgive can unknowingly cause harm and sabotage their recovery. And such harm is entirely unnecessary—especially when research shows there is no consensus among psychologists, psychiatrists, and other professionals about whether forgiveness is necessary for recovery at all.

You Don't Need to Forgive is an invaluable resource for trauma survivors and their clinicians who feel alienated and even gaslighted by the toxic positivity and moralism that often characterizes attitudes about forgiveness in psychology and self-help. Bringing together research and testimony from psychologists, psychotherapists, criminologists, philosophers, religious leaders, and trauma survivors, psychotherapist and expert in complex trauma recovery Amanda Ann Gregory explores the benefits of elective forgiveness and the dangers of required forgiveness. Elective forgiveness gives survivors the agency to progress in their recovery on their own terms. Forgiveness is helpful for some, but it is not universally necessary for recovery; each person should have the power to choose.

©2025 Amanda Ann Gregory LCPC (P)2025 Recorded Books

Reads Like A Textbook

The overall message of the book is good, and the research behind it is solid. However, this was (and is) a difficult subject for me. So it reading more like a textbook wasn't super helpful or very engaging. Still recommend it, though, as it's helpful.