Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance

Healing from an Abusive Relationship with a Disordered Personality

De: Peter Salerno PsyD

Narrado por: Peter Salerno

If you’re in or have been in a relationship with a pathological personality yet somehow ended up believing that everything bad was your fault, you’re not alone. That’s the super-power of disordered personalities: making their victims believe they are in the wrong even when they’re not.

Being on the receiving end of chronic but often subtle abuse can be brutal. The result of this dizzying and disorienting up-is-down maelstrom manifested by the pathological personality in your life results in Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance (TCD). This occurs when covert manipulation and other forms of deceit and coercion are experienced on an ongoing basis. TCD represents complex trauma that goes far beyond typical trauma and stress-related symptoms.

But there is help. And knowledge is where it starts. Rest assured that what you have been searching for to make sense of your debilitating situation and to recover once and for all from pathological relationship abuse is right here, between the pages of this book.

Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance, when understood, can be overcome. And that’s what this book is for—for you to gain the tools and information so that you’ll be able to reunite with your true sense of self and to move forward in your life with a renewed sense of joy. After all you’ve been through, you deserve it.

©2025 Peter Salerno (P)2025 Peter Salerno

A realistic portrayal of pathological personalities

Something that has been absolutely necessary to my healing journey from being raised by pathological (Cluster B) personalities and then going on to repeatedly date them in adulthood is the learning that many people who do bad things to others do so intentionally, and not because of trauma or some deep inner wound. Unfortunately, some people really are just rotten to the core. It is refreshing to see someone join the group of the very few authors who have put this into writing.

I think this is a great book to those who are very early on in their healing journey, or those who have only just begun to realize that they have dated a pathological personality. That said, I think it is important to keep in mind that this book serves as an initial jumping off point, and not a comprehensive guide to dealing with pathological personalities or all the ways you could heal from them. Even so, it is a great starting place that I definitely recommend to both professionals and victims alike.

My one critique is regarding the suggestion to not examine your vulnerabilities/past patterns/attachment style when healing from these people. While this might be true of people whose only experience with pathological personalities is dating them, those of us who were raised by these people absolutely MUST examine our past patterns. After all, it is well established that people tend to date people who are similar to their parents, and that trauma repetitions are common.

Finally! Validation and education.

No one has ever spoken about this kind of abuse in the way that Dr. Salerno does in this book. It is pretty lonely as a survivor, I rarely have come across anyone who understands what that kind of abuse does to a person. This book helps me feel understood and validated - and it’s possible I have a little feeling of hope for the first time in forever!Research, stories, and education, including actions we can take right now and exercises to learn more about ourselves. I just finished the book and am going to listen to it again.

Awesome

Great book easy for me to ponder on and understand and apply. Will be re-reading again and again.

Current, accurate, simple and effective.

I have been living with traumatic cognitive dissonance for much of my life. This book helped me see that people can indeed be toxic and can indeed contaminate my nervous and core belief systems. It allowed me to finally realize that I WAS a victim and am now a survivor of emotional and nervous system abuse. I appreciated how brief, clear and to the point this book was and the focus on the present moment rather than the past or the future. I feel validated, understood and supported.

Very helpful

I really liked this book, especially the dispelling of myths I’ve heard over the years and quite recently regarding the burdens I must carry for the relationship with the disordered persons. For example, I participated willingly and therefore must have wanted it and/or be a disordered person myself. I feel a tremendous amount of relief after listening to this book.

Incredible information and healing

Extremely educational, scientifically based description of predatory, destructive people and their impacts on other people. This is a compassionate, ACTUALLY helpful discussion of the fact based devastation left behind after encounters with personality disordered individuals or groups. It concisely lists and describes multiple, proven effective methods of treatment for recovery and a pathway towards healing. Thank you Dr Salerno, for this work and time, your kind heart, and unusual mind. For neurodivergent brain types, information and logical, rational understanding of how the body and mind operate are very validating. Dr Salerno has a calm and clear speaking manner which is easy to absorb.

The Shift I needed!

I’ve read a lot of literature on personality disorders and how to recover from abuse inflicted by these disordered individuals. This was by far the most helpful of the lot. I would highly recommend this book. Dr Salerno’s insights and advice helped me overcome the self doubt and the lingering cognitive dissonance I have been trying to shift. Thank you Doctor!

brilliant

excellent information that is very unique to the topic. a real game changer. definitely worth your time.

Reality check

Insightful and reaffirming. Excellent points backed with scientific deductions . But It misses a very important fact , some of us will never be truly OK - due to factors not of our own making , especially later in life when future opportunities have narrowed . Regardless of when or if , our severely alienated children make their way back to the targeted parent , neither can get back the missed life experiences stolen by intentional lies: the engagements , weddings , babies , family vacations .. all gone forever with the passage of time . Love can remain , but trust can never be won back . The very core expectations of what would had made your life have value and joy have passed over you . Even with the best self esteem , life has been stolen from you — there will never be an Ok .

Excellent!!

I felt seen and validated by reading this book!! I resonated with everything and understand myself and situation so clearly now!