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The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe
- Narrated by: Eliza Skinner, Janet Varney, Al Yankovic, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, John DiMaggio, Paul F. Tompkins, Sasheer Zamata, Jackie Kashian, Dulce Sloan, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
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Set your hyperwarp for hilarity and blast off to adventure!
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Publisher's summary
Audible Originals and the team from RiffTrax present an intergalactic tale of intrigue and Olympic heroism in this multicast, sci-fi comedy adventure!
Kara Everglades has just finished her first year of high school and is longing for an adventure. So far, her only option is an invitation from some upperclassmen to watch them race a bunch of bullfrogs in a ditch. To be honest, she was hoping for something a bit more exciting.
Her grandfather, Cornelius Everglades, is a family legend (and a loose cannon), who founded his own island micronation. Unfortunately, the rest of the world refuses to acknowledge it (possibly because he’s gone about the nation-building process using wildly illegal and unethical means).
When Cornelius shows up at Kara’s door needing her help and promising an adventure, Kara agrees to go along with his far-fetched plan, even though a) she thought Cornelius was dead, and b) his scheme depends heavily on Kara wearing a mascot costume.
If Kara had only known about the giant alien spaceship currently speeding toward her grandfather’s country with the intent to subjugate and humiliate mankind, she might have reconsidered.
Full cast of voice actors and performers: Bill Corbett, John DiMaggio, Jackie Kashian, Colin Mahan, Kevin Murphy, Mike Nelson, Eliza Skinner, Dulce Sloan, Reggie Steele, Paul F. Tompkins, Janet Varney, Scott Vermeire, “Weird Al” Yankovic, and Sasheer Zamata.
Editor's Pick
RiffTrax, Weird Al, and… bickering space aliens
"What more could you possibly want packed into your next sci-fi comedy listen? How about a full cast of fan-favorite comedic talent delivering non-stop laughs and downright silliness? Plus, if you’re a fan of RiffTrax and the original Mystery Science Theater 3000, you will no doubt delight in the same brand of irreverent humor and in hearing the voices of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett in your ears. If you aren’t—well, you should give them a try—but either way you’ll still find it difficult to press pause on the Olympic-sized shenanigans of Kara Everglades and her wildly eccentric grandpa. Not to mention the group of evil yet bumbling space aliens careening towards them. This one really does have it all."
—Catherine H., Audible Editor
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Story
The year is 1939. A secret society of extraordinary geniuses is about to share an incredible discovery with the world. A misguided enemy - half man, half machine - will stop at nothing to prevent the group from giving this forbidden knowledge to humanity. And a mother and son on vacation in New York City are handed a comic book infused with a secret code that will lead them straight into the crossfires of the conspiracy.
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I totally do not get this book
- By Armen Kurdian on 09-07-19
By: Disney Press, and others
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Orbital Decay
- By: Allen Steele
- Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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The award-winning, bestselling author's first novel. The beamjacks work in zero-gravity constructing satellites in the vacuum of deepest space. And they're not going to let the military control them anymore.
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Hard to follow
- By Don on 12-27-16
By: Allen Steele
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The Reluctant Adventures of Fletcher Connolly on the Interstellar Railroad
- By: Felix R. Savage
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Fletcher Connolly hasn't got a lot to lose. Since he and half the galaxy signed on to the rat race of the technological relics trade, Fletch has come to terms with the idea that he will join the ranks of unlucky explorers that perish light years from home without a dime to his name. But bankruptcy is a great motivator. With friends and family counting on him to strike it rich, Fletch embarks on an unwilling quest for alien treasure.
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I wanted to love this book, but I did like it
- By wag more on 07-26-18
By: Felix R. Savage
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Without Warning
- By: John Birmingham
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 17 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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On the eve of the U.S. invasion of Baghdad, as the world waits for war, a miles-high energy wave cordons a vast area from southern Canada to northern Mexico. In a moment, 99 percent of the U.S. population has been wiped from the face of the earth.
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Language in book is a bit over the top.
- By John R. Dritenbas on 07-07-10
By: John Birmingham
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The Dig
- By: Michael Siemsen
- Narrated by: Chris Patton
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A mysterious woven metal artifact is found at a paleontological dig in Africa. Mystified experts, confounded by the impossible timeline they get from traditional dating methods, call upon a stubborn young man with a unique talent. Matthew Turner's gift is also his curse: When he touches any object, his awareness is flooded with the thoughts and feelings of those who touched it before him. It is a talent that many covet, some fear, and almost no one understands.
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So I liked it, in a random sorta way...
- By Jan on 12-15-13
By: Michael Siemsen
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At All Costs
- By: John Gilstrap
- Narrated by: Chris Kayser
- Length: 16 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Jake and Carolyn have lived a lie for 14 years to protect themselves. But now they have to protect their 13-year-old son, Travis. Their only chance is to return to the hellish scene of an unprecedented crime, and collect the evidence that may finally set them free - if they can elude a massive manhunt long enough to get there.
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Avoid AT ALL COSTS
- By cristina on 04-05-16
By: John Gilstrap
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900 Miles
- A Zombie Novel
- By: S. Johnathan Davis
- Narrated by: Jamison Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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John is a killer, but that wasn't his day job before the Apocalypse. In a harrowing 900-mile race against time to get to his wife just as the dead begin to rise, John, a businessman trapped in New York, soon learns that the zombies are the least of his worries, as he sees firsthand the horror of what man is capable of with no rules, no consequences, and death at every turn. Teaming up with an ex-army pilot named Kyle, they escape New York only to stumble across a man who says that he has the key to a rumored underground stronghold called Avalon....
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A "road story"--with zombies!
- By Lesley on 09-30-14
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To the Vanishing Point
- By: Alan Dean Foster
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 12 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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It was just a boring drive through the Nevada desert...until the Sonderberg family picked up a beautiful young hitchhiker named Mouse and found themselves on a wild, careening ride down the exit ramp to Hell. It seems the entire universe is doomed unless Mouse, a transdimensional alien, can find and heal the dying cosmic Spinner who controls the very fabric of reality. They're driving into a fantastic nightmare to save all creation at the Vanishing Point on the Cosmic Road...which happens to be US Interstate 40!
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One of my all time favorites.
- By Joseph Simpson on 09-18-21
By: Alan Dean Foster
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The Epic Crush of Genie Lo
- By: F. C. Yee
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.
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Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee
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Science Fair
- By: Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson
- Narrated by: Phil Gigante
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Toby Harbinger, an eighth grader at Hubble Middle School near Washington, D.C., is in big trouble. He made the mistake of selling his dad's priceless original Star Wars blaster to a lunatic who thinks he's Darth Vader and travels with a large, hairy sidekick known as the Wookiee. Now the lunatic wants more from Toby, whose only hope of getting out of this mess is to win first prize at the school science fair: $5,000.
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family fun
- By JMS on 11-23-11
By: Dave Barry, and others
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Con Academy
- By: Joe Schreiber
- Narrated by: Michael Hinton
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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It's his senior year, and Will Shea has conned his way into one of the country's most elite prep schools. But he soon runs into Andrea, a fellow con artist. With the school not big enough for the both of them, they make a bet that whoever can con Brandt Rush, the richest, most privileged student in the school, out of $50,000 gets to stay at the school. Will starts setting up his con (an online poker scam) with his uncle, who's one of the best grifters in the business, and with the unwanted help of his father.
By: Joe Schreiber
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The Last Policeman
- The Last Policeman, Book 1
- By: Ben H. Winters
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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What’s the point in solving murders if we’re all going to die soon, anyway? Detective Hank Palace has faced this question ever since asteroid 2011GV1 hovered into view. There’s no chance left. No hope. Just six precious months until impact. The economy spirals downward while crops rot in the fields. Churches and synagogues are packed. People all over the world are walking off the job—but not Hank Palace. He’s investigating a death by hanging in a city that sees a dozen suicides every week—except this one feels suspicious, and Palace is the only cop who cares.
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Not your regular mystery
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 09-20-16
By: Ben H. Winters
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A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
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An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
What listeners say about The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Leslie Braitsch
- 01-17-19
Highly entertaining, great listen
Delightfully witty and absurd story brought to life by a great cast.
You may not be a better person after listening to it, but you will be a happier one.
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17 people found this helpful
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- Reginald P. Linux
- 01-27-19
Not just an audiobook but a performance!
This have become on of my favorite audible purchases because it’s more than just a narration of a book but a real performance!
Much of that success lies with the humorous writing of the author of the book. Lastowka does a great job creating a story that channels a lot of what make Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut books so wonderful and loved. Humor, absurdity, and satire. I can’t wait to read more from the author and look forward to his next book.
The other piece is the amazing performance created by the cast, the sound effects, and music. It meshes incredibly well and make this more like a audio play then the typical narration. The cast all does a fantastic job and the characters all feel distinct.
If you are looking for something fun, different, and incredibly enjoyable I highly recommend this!
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13 people found this helpful
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- Ovid J. Waddick
- 01-17-19
All Star Cast Crushes Lastowka's Absurdist Tale
I didn't know there was a way to possibly improve upon Conor Lastowka's sophomore effort, The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe, but now there obviously is, and that is to recruit an All Star Cast to just crush it.
Lastowka, a senior writer at RiffTrax, started off writing novels with the unexpectedly compelling tale of time travel and life on the open sea in the 2013 classic, Gone Whalin'. And in keeping with his ability to come up with names that tell you everything you need to know about a book, he followed it up in 2018 with this cosmic romp. And in doing so, he's positioned himself into a head start to being the definitive literary absurdist voice of the 2020s. He has such a unique voice and style, that to leave anything he writes on the shelf should be considered a very serious crime.
But then there is this thing, something so amazing I can't even wrap my mind around it yet. The galaxy of A-list talent involved in this audiobook dwarfs anything that could be imagined in the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies combined. MST3K/RiffTrax stars Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett is just the beginning. You have Janet Varney, star of The Adventure of Korra, John DiMaggio, the voice of Bender from Futurama, Paul F. Tompkins of Mr. Show fame, and to top it all off, the king of absurd himself, Weird Al Yankovic. They are all on top of their game like you would not believe, every single one of them bring their A-game for an amazing experience you will not soon forget.
If this cast telling this story is not enough to warrant the purchase and consumption of it, then I honestly do not know what would be. This has cult classic written all over it. Get it now so you can say that you "liked it before it was cool."
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13 people found this helpful
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- Chris Weixelman
- 01-17-19
Halrious!
This book is a riot. I was promised a laugh on every page, and while there are no pages, I put it at a laugh a minute.
Now if only Audible could produce audio books of some of the other books I've been seeing around Amazon. Like this Tekwar that keeps getting recommended to me. I'll bet it's great too.
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13 people found this helpful
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- Matt Nelson
- 01-17-19
Zany Olympic fun with an all-star cast!
If you haven't already read the brilliant comedy The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe, here's your chance to listen to a hilarious audiobook version! Produced similarly to a radio play with sound effects, acted dialogue, and narration, Conor Lastowka's book comes to (bizarre and hysterical) life. The cast includes comedy greats such as Weird Al Yankovic, Janet Varney, and the MST3K/Rifftrax staff of Kevin Murphy, Mike Nelson, and Bill Corbett. AND MANY MORE! Come, join us on the micronation of Hawall. Slip on your grungy mascot costume and listen to its dark desires. Feel your moodcore glow with delight. It's time for the Olympics, and the aliens have just landed.
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12 people found this helpful
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- Carter G. Deekens
- 02-09-19
Loved it! fun and hilarious
I loved this book so much that I spread the last hour out over four days so that it wouldn't end. Conor's writing style is fast and witty and the character voices take this to a new level. I listened to this during my daily commute and a couple of times at the gym and it made the time fly by.
This was the first book I've read/heard by Conor but will not be my last as I immediately found his "372 pages I will never get back" Podcast to make up for my sense of loss once the book was over and will read "Gone Whalin" next.
I will admit that the first 3 chapters or so did not seem like my type of story/ humor. However, once the story started to unfold and the more characters were introduced, I loved the ride. The production team hit it out of the park and the way they took the written book and made it into the audio version is brilliant with an All Star cast of actors.
Treat yourself to 6 hours of fun, you will not be disappointed...well except when it's over.
Mr. Lastowka, thank you for this fantastic story and I look forward to many more.
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10 people found this helpful
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- MR M J ELLIOTT
- 01-24-19
The funniest sci-fi comedy since Douglas Adams!
Not since I first opened the pages of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams (Yes, I know that was the second one, I read them out of order) have I experienced as hilariously imaginative a science fiction comedy as The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe by Conor Lastowka. Every scene, every character, is note-perfect, each chapter is never less than laugh-out-loud funny. I'm already drumming my fingers, waiting for the movie. The audiobook is further enhanced by the talents of some true comic giants - Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett from RiffTrax, Sasheer Zamata of SNL, The Daily Show's Dulcé Sloan, Futurama's John DiMaggio, and, of course, Weird Al freakin' Yankovic! Lastowka's talents are breathtaking, and I can't wait to see what he does next.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Jeffrey Hagstrom
- 01-21-19
Light-hearted and fun!
I really enjoyed it! The plot was fun and surprising and the production was excellent. Reminded me a lot of Hitchhiker's Guide, both in the story and the audio styling - the full cast and sound effects were reminiscent of the original BBC production. And any audio book with Bender (John DiMaggio), Avatar Korra (Janet Varney), and Weird Al Yankovic doing voices must be good!
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9 people found this helpful
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- Long-time Fan
- 01-24-19
Amazing cast, performances and humor
For anyone who has been tracking the greats of American humor over the last 20 years, the stand-out cast of this audiobook will need no introduction: comedy legends from Mystery Science Theater 3000, Stan Against Evil, Futurama, BoJack Horseman and the entire decades of the '80s, '90s and '00s ("Weird" Al Yankovic) are all featured. Less well known but deserving of much wider recognition is author Conor Lastowka, who has honed his comedy-writing chops for more than a decade as lead writer for Rifftrax and as author of his previous novel "Gone Whalin'". The writing is sharp and breezy, as the story continues to build around the themes of family and flim-flammery, bringing to my mind what would happen if novelist Walker Percy wandered into a gonzo improv comedy sketch. If you're looking for an audio escape or enjoy a good laugh out loud, make sure to attend "The Pole Vault Championship of the Universe" -- the fate of the planet could depend on it!
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8 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-05-19
10/10 would listen again
all star cast, fun story, great narration. Good for business trips or daily commutes. Enjoy!
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7 people found this helpful