The Midwest Survival Guide

How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat... Everything with Ranch

By: Charlie Berens

Narrated by: Charlie Berens

Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins

Publisher's summary

Everything you need to know to survive in the greatest place on Earth

Have you ever had a goodbye lasting more than four hours? Do you lack the emotional capacity to say “I love you” so you just tell your loved ones to “watch out for deer”? Have you apologized to a stranger because she stepped on your foot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re a Midwesterner - or a Midwesterner at heart. 

Even if you answered no, you probably know someone who held the door for you from two football fields away. He likely waved at you and said, “Hey there", like you organized the church bar crawl together. That was a Midwesterner in the wild. We understand that your interaction was strange - but it’s likely to get stranger. Don’t wait until they stick their head in your second-floor window to invite you over for a perch fry because they climbed on your roof to clean your gutters. There’s no need to pull the pepper spray; this species is helpful by nature. And the relationship could be very symbiotic - but only if you let it happen. And that’s where this book comes into play.

Inspired by my comedy tours across the Midwest and life growing up in Wisconsin, this book is an exploration into my favorite region on Earth. Some may think the Midwest is just a bunch of bland flyover states filled with less diversity than a Monsanto monoculture. But scratch that surface with your buck knife, and you’ll find rich cultures and traditions proving we’re more than just fifty shades of milk. 

So whether you’re a born-and-bred Midwesterner looking to sharpen your skill at apologies or a costal elite visiting the in-laws for the holidays, this book will help you navigate the Midwest, with everything from the best flannel looks to dating and mating rituals (yes, casserole is involved) to climbing the corporate corn silo to how to handle a four-way stop - and every backyard brat fry in between. 

And for those of you who don’t like listening, don’t worry - we’ve got pictures! Toss in illustrations, sidebars, quizzes, and jokes worthy of a supper club stall and The Midwest Survival Guide is just the walleye-deep look into this distinctive, beautiful, and bizarre American culture you’ve been looking for.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Charlie Berens (P)2021 HarperCollins Publishers

intelligent and sentimental

Intelligent and sentimental humor. well researched. I have listened twice. i want to listen and learn more about the Midwest and laugh.

Quintessential Midwest

I just moved to the South from the Chicago area and I have drawn many strange looks, laughing hysterically in private and public at how painfully accurate this book is. I've easily listened to this book 5 times in the last month and counting!

Spot on

It’s a funny and accurate portrayal of life in the Midwest. This is a very easy listen that I’ll definitely go back and listen to again and again.

Great book!

Loved it! makes ya realize cultural differences in the Midwest. Very entertaining and hard to put down...ope...I mean stop the Audible because of interruptions.

Exactly what you would hope for and expect

Charlie does a great job representing the Midwest in this reading of the survival guide. I usually don’t write reviews, but after being reminded of Midwest nice, I felt I had to.

if you want to know about the Midwest

very fun. reminds me of home. glad I got to listen. hope you enjoy.

good, but...

you said Willis Tower. what kinda Midwesterner are you? It's pronounced "SEARS TOWER"!!! other than that, it's funny. for anyone else reading about the Chicago drivers - it's true. once you're an hour outside Chicago it's back to normal again.

Funny and informative

I moved to the Midwest a year ago and found this guide both enjoyable to listen to and helpful as I acclimate to my new home. BTW - I bought this book on a good sale.

Midwest you bet yah

If you moved away from the Midwest, this book with bring you back to the area. It is full of stories that will entertain you and make you laugh

Welcome to realities of the Midwest… lol

Informative, true and humorous. Slightly slanted to northern Midwest but great look into the oddities of how we midwesterners function. Worth the listen.